The Adventures of Calamity Wilde

"Le temps qui glisse est un salaud"

2011-12-21T19:16:00.000-08:00

That quote suggests that time is a bastard. But I say that in the most endearing way. Time will certainly slap us around a little, but it is such a wonderful teacher.

I wonder at the proximity of my birthday to the new year, to the solstice even. A turning of the wheel in so many perfectly synchronized ways. As I come to the end of another year of my own complex and beautiful existence, the earth comes into her longest night, farthest point from the sun. And the year comes to an end, as well. 2011, you've been one hell of a year. And so I reflect in so many ways, on what this time has meant to me.

The other night: a conversation about wisdom, compassion, and age. Of course appropriately timed. Several people suggested that compassion grows as we get older. And wisdom as well- which is intricately intertwined with both compassion and mindfulness. I feel these things abundantly in my life. Incorporating themselves into my existence. And I am grateful. Humbled.

Every year is epic, but this past year was especially so. I welcomed some of my most deeply buried shadows, found some of my most thoroughly hidden light. Some of the most important questions of my life thus far arose this year. And I was able, in many ways, to let go of all the futile attempts at answers.

I traveled long and far this year. And these journeys were physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. 16 states, 6 months on the road, so many miles I lost count. So many realizations, moments of intuition, critical moments, crises even, and of course mistakes.

I found synchronicity again, though I'm not sure how I'd gotten so far away from it.

I lost all my dreams, and all my ideas of who I was or what I wanted my life to be.

And as I reflect on all these things, on selving and connecting, on places and spaces, on moving and shadows, I ultimately come to where I am right in this very moment.

Today I sensed what the dark half of the year is all about. I used to think it was about just that: darkness. But it's also about rest. As the earth moves through winter, she is not dead. She is sleeping. There is so much life still, only it's more subtle. More silent. There's a calmness there in the space where darkness is welcome. Where cold is welcome. Where we can drop our leaves and bare our limbs without shame. We let go of those things we cling to. Invite our shame, our guilt, our doubt, our fear, our sadness, our injury, and our lack to come to the surface. We welcome those aspects of ourselves, embrace them even. They are part of us as much as our love, our compassion, our faith, our joy, our healing, and our abundance are a part of us. And so at this time of year, we must allow ourselves to be whole. To find the sleep of slow and silent winters. A time of healing. So that with the return of the sun, we will be renewed.

And as I am on the brink of entering another year of this beautiful and astounding life, I want you all to know how grateful I am to share this journey with you. To be on this earth, living this life, having these experiences. I wish, for you, wholeness: a space where you allow yourself to be fully you. May you walk through this life with a whole heart and a whole mind.

And know that I love you.
Namaste.

A Giving of Thanks

2011-11-23T06:49:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time. I've not been able to write this post. Life is such a labyrinth of experience, with shadows cast across our paths, unexpected walls, twists and turns, and of course the very human wonder if there really is a minotaur somewhere in there- or an exit for that matter.

As this is the week of Thanksgiving, I wanted to reflect on my gratitude. Gratitude is something that grows and grows in my life, and so the fact that there is a holiday to celebrate it just enhances its beauty. As I consider the many things I am grateful for, the things that come up first are those dark and difficult things. A separation from my husband of two years is not something I am grateful for, however, what I am learning about myself and about the world in general are things I am extremely grateful for. This has been a time of darkness, of twists and turns, of walls, of pain, but also of beauty. Destruction will always bring creation. In that light, I list my gratitudes:

A chance to experience something sacred with other human beings
The ability to help someone, so much that they express their own gratitude for you
The love and support of those who love me
A lesson in what love really means
Nourishment- mind, body, and soul
Beautiful children in my life
Rain and autumn and winter, after having missed those things in the desert
The chance to miss the desert
The changes I see beginning in our world- those people that are standing up for change
Synchronicities- the universe keeps lining things up just right
A job which allows me to do what I love
A place to rest my head at night
A reconciliation of my past
The absolute beauty that exists in this world, and our ability to connect to it
The simple things: leaves blowing in the wind, a crow's call in the morning, a foggy day
The space to heal

So I hope that as you consider your own gratitude this Thanksgiving, you will consider the beauty in the hard parts, too. It's all part of this beautiful cycle.

Namaste

Full circle, again and again

2011-07-06T10:48:00.000-07:00

It seems like things always come full circle. And sometimes they keep circling. And sometimes they lead to other circles altogether. Four years ago, I started this blog when I left Massachusetts to move west. It was to be a chronicle of adventure, of hellos and goodbyes, of life and love and a girl who wanted to see it all. Revisiting that girl is something I'm glad I can do. We are so different, she and I, and yet.... It's wonderful to have it all documented. It was in this place, in Western Massachusetts, where I am now, that I began this log. And so in a sense, it really does feel like full circle. It's trippy to be back here and walk these streets as the person I am now... ultimately because my year here was both the best of times and the worst of times. I was in some of the darkest places of my life, and I also blossomed into some of the brightest. And so. I knew I wanted to visit here on my way down the east coast, but fate landed us a three week house sitting opportunity, and so our stay here will be full of friends, adventures, memories, and hopefully a better understanding of myself.

But I'm skipping the part where we actually got here. After being in Indiana for a month, and managing to push back more than one estimated departure date, we finally made it out of there. It was bittersweet. Leaving the kids was a tough thing, but it's something I am, by this point, better at coping with. I was ready to continue the adventure, be on the road, see the next thing to see. And so. The morning we were to leave, I got an email from a friend explaining that friends of hers needed a housesitter, and were we still looking for a place to stay? Of course we were! Especially because the house is walking distance from downtown Northampton, one of my favorite places.

We hit the road and managed to make it almost to Cleveland before hunger and fatigue overtook us. Thanks to HappyCow, we found a delicious Chinese place that had a completely vegetarian menu in addition to the regular menu. Their peanut sauce was absolutely to die for. Driving through Lakewood was pretty neat. It's a town I'd definitely like to explore a little more. Tons of unique houses and independent shops and restaurants, all along the beautiful lake.

The next day we made a slight detour up past Buffalo so we could check out the American side of Niagara Falls. Chip had been there before, but I had only been to the Canadian side. It was as breathtaking as I remember it being, and we luxuriated in the insane humidity radiating off the water for a while. We took a little walk (only little because of my ankle injury- did I mention that I twisted my ankle something awful in Indiana? It's healing, though, slowly but surely.), and enjoyed the view. A nice break from a day in the car.

That night we crashed somewhere just outside of Albany, and had only a two or three hour trek into Western Mass the next morning. We grabbed some delicious vegan food in Amherst, sat on the sidewalk, had a pot of tea, and I couldn't believe that we were actually here. Of course it all felt like a dream. The afternoon we spent at the Peace Pagoda- one of the most interesting places here, I think. It was so quiet, and nice to just sit and think. The weather was pretty perfect, too.

The next few days were spent catching up with friends, and visiting much loved spots. And three days after arriving, we were in the house that we will occupy for several weeks yet. It's sort of crazy to be in a big house, just the two of us- as we've been either in tents, or with tons of other people for the past three months. We spent the first several days sitting in silence, reading, and I even took an actual bath (it's been too long). The farmer's market is walking distance, as is the entire town, so we've also been luxuriating in having fresh local produce accessible by foot, several days per week. We've been eating so well- my body loves that. I've also been doing yoga every morning, slowly getting back into it after the ankle injury.

There are lots of places we want to visit that are day trips from here, so we'll be working those into our lives. On the fourth we headed out to the Berkshires, where we found this orchard we were wanting to go to only to find it was closed (even though their website said they'd be open). Helas. The drive was gorgeous, full of farmland and green trees and lakes and amazing old houses. We drove to the top of Mount Greylock for a pretty great view of the area, and a nice breath of fresh air.

It's weird being in a place like this for an extended stay- no family around, not staying with friends. We almost aren't sure what to do with ourselves. No tent to set up or take down, no obligations... it's kind of insane. I was actually feeling anxious about having no plans the other day. Guess that's something. So this part of the journey seems to be about relaxing, luxuriating, and enjoying the company of good friends at leisure. Not to mention the crazy dreams I've been having since arriving here, but that's a whole different blog. ;)

Every day is a new adventure

2011-06-13T18:04:00.000-07:00

Let me just say that my life does NOT lack adventure. I am more grateful for this than I know how to express in words. Each moment in this context makes me less afraid to dive into the next. A valuable thing, for certain.

We left Nashville one morning after two-ish weeks of being there, and high-tailed it to Indiana, where Chip's family lives. We are in Northwest Indiana, which is about 50 miles outside of Chicago, though we've yet to make it to the city.

After an 8 hour drive, we arrived in the early evening with the intent to show up at a big family party that was happening and surprise everyone. The boys were going to park their trailer in the yard and then we'd head over to the restaurant. Chip's friends had mentioned that it had been raining really hard recently, so Chip decided to drive the car into the yard first to make sure the mud wasn't too bad for the trailer. Only his hand signal for them to stop when he turned onto the grass wasn't clear enough, and so just as the front wheels of the trailer got onto the grass, the whole rig immediately got stuck in the mud. And wouldn't budge. And kept digging the holes deeper and deeper. At this point we had 20 minutes until the party was over. Well suddenly Chip's friends all show up. Not even five minutes had passed since our arrival. It was insane!! One after the other, they pulled into the drive. (So happy to have Chip back in town that word spread like wildfire). And then the grabbing of boards and ropes ensued. The plan of attack was drawn up, and five men stood behind the trailer and pushed while one drove. Just as they successfully parked the trailer in the driveway, all 22(ish) of his family members pulled into the drive, car by car. The greetings were warm and loud and long. Everyone was so thrilled for our arrival. Exhausted as we were, I immediately took to jumping on the trampoline with the kids. Things have pretty much been non-stop from that moment.

Chip boasts a big family, with 5 siblings and 16 nieces and nephews and one great-niece. We are staying on his sister's property, so her house is home to her, her four children, her room-mate, and her two children. His mom's house is just beside theirs. And we are staying in the apartment that's above the barn on the other side of the house.

Chip and our youngest nephew

So, as you can imagine, life here is vibrant and chaotic. I am definitely in my element with all the kids around. I really adore these kids. We've gone hiking and fishing and shopping. They come over all the time to help me make dinner, eat with me, have movie nights, etc.

The first night we arrived, all the nieces got together and asked me if I would teach them how to bellydance. Well! I couldn't imagine what I'd want to do more than just that very thing. So, in those first few days I ordered all 6 of them coinbelts, and planned a class at the karate school owned by Chip's other sister. They were so incredible. I honestly can't believe how quickly they took to it during their very first lesson. I'll have my very own performance troupe in no time!! These girls are so fun.

Other than my spending time with the nieces and nephews, we've been working a whole lot. (I say "we" but mostly it's been Chip.) This place we are staying had so many things wrong with it, and Chip can pretty much do anything, so everyone has really long to-do lists for him when he comes home. So, between re-plumbing this apartment, putting up a new door, wiring the oven, doing the stuff at his mom's and sister's houses, doing stuff in the yard, fixing the mower, etc., it's been pretty busy. Luckily part of that includes paid work at his brother's place. I've been helping out with that too, and thus have learned a little bit about electrical work, amongst other things. Interestingly enough there was a moment when I was downstairs cutting and stripping wires and the thought crossed my mind, "What if these wires were live?" I just had this feeling that there was electricity flowing through. And about two minutes later, Chip yells down the stairs "Hang on Les, one of those circuits might be live!" So he came down and checked, and sure enough it was. So, that was certainly exhilarating.

Sealing cracks in the cement

Other than family time, we've also had a whole lot of friend time in this visit. The first week we were here, my best friend since I was 6 just happened to be crossing through here from Boston on her way to California. She just finished grad school there and is moving to Cali, except she's currently overseas for a couple months teaching in China. So it was wonderful having such a dear dear friend here, and for us to both be at such crossroads in life. We had some much need conversation while walking on the beach (Lake Michigan feels just like the ocean, by the way). And then we had an all out dance party that night.

Chip's friends have also been around a lot. A couple of them I've been able to spend time with previously, and I've had the opportunity to get to know some of the others. They are pretty wonderful indeed. The other night we built a big bonfire in the backyard, and I busted out the glow poi, and someone else had glowsticks, and I proceeded to embrace my inner child (ok, when do I not do that?).

Dance Party!!!!

And just yesterday, the kids moved all the living room furniture into the front yard, and then we spent all day outside dancing on the porch and in the yard. I even gave bellydance lessons in the front yard. It was an amazing and much needed day. Did I mention how these kids just blow me away?

Our niece in her bellydance attire, in the open air living room

So tomorrow our traveling companions part ways with us. They are heading on toward Massachusetts and we will stay here until the work gets done. Which may mean another week entirely.

The plan after that (as much as there is a plan) is to stay in Mass for one entire month. We are looking for a room to rent for that time, so that we can explore the wonders of New England in the summer (the best time, in my opinion). Who knows what that will have in store for us. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The rest of our time here will be filled with bellydance classes for the girls, dinners with the kids, and hopefully a day trip to Chicago via the train (I really dig that city).

Hope this finds you all well. I send my love.

It does not matter how slowly you go,

2011-05-24T08:39:00.000-07:00

"It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop." (Confucius, I think)

I've been thinking of this line rather frequently these days. Being back in the town where I grew up makes me constantly consider my life, and how it's changed, and how I've changed, and even more how I'm still the same. This journey that we're on now, it's more than a journey between states and sites and landscapes, it's a journey to try to find out what we want out of life. Sometimes that can be quite the overwhelming task, and it can get discouraging, and it is of course difficult, but I keep thinking "just don't stop." Keep going, keep searching, keep finding your passions and keep asking yourself what you want.

That said, we've been enjoying our time here in Nashville. But I still have yet to write about Florida. From Louisiana, we made our way to Gulf Islands National Seashore. Chip had been there before, and remembered loving it so we were all excited to check it out.

The place is an island with a campground in the center. It was absolute paradise. Beach on all sides, walkable from the campsite, and the weather was ideal. So our week there consisted of yoga on the beach, morning swims in the ocean, beach walks, music around the campfire in the evenings, good food, beautiful skies, etc. I really really enjoyed that place. It was so beautiful. Swimming in the ocean every day did wonders for my soul (and my skin). It made me seriously consider living closer to the ocean on a permanent basis.

The National Seashore used to be a State Park and before that it was just Fort Pickens, one of several forts in the area dates back to the Civil War. It is said to be haunted, and some of the ruins definitely had some crazy energy. One night we went exploring and climbed through and around some of them... definitely something going on there.

The Blue Angels are just across the bay, and so we were lucky enough to get to see some of their practices. Those guys blow my mind. One morning they were in the air for an hour, flying right over our campsite, so we hightailed it to the beach to get a better view of the whole show. I wished my brother could have been there too. He digs that stuff.

I decided while I was there that I wanted to go fishing. I've never been fishing (due in part to a traumatic fish experience I had as a child), and there was a pier at the park from which you could fish without a permit. If I ever eat animal products again, I want to be the bringer of death. I want to look that animal in the face and really understand the balance of life. So here's the chance-- my buddies wanted to fish, and so I decided to fish. I would eat what I caught. Because I want to experience everything I possibly can in life. So we were all fishing, and I said a little prayer to the universe, to allow me this experience, thanking the fish for offering its life, etc. And I caught one. I was the first one of our group with a catch. It was a pinfish- too small to eat but one of the other fishermen suggested we use it for bait, since the brined shrimp we'd brought weren't the best. Ok, then. If I was going to be responsible for taking its life, then I would take its life. So Chip held it down, while I thanked it and then cut off its head. It was hard and it made me feel weird, but I also understood that it was part of this cycle we as humans are in. So we cut it up and used it for bait. We never caught a bigger fish for eating, but part of that pinfish is frozen still, so perhaps there's still the chance that its life will bring the experience of eating a fish I catch myself.

It was sad to have to leave that place, but we did. We spent 2 nights in a state park outside of Montgomery Alabama. That place was the greenest place we've been yet, so it really felt like entering the South again. We've missed that lush vegetation. After a relaxing day, we made our way north to finally reach Nashville.

The camper is parked in my dad's back yard, and we've all been busy since arriving. I had boxes of stuff stored here to go through and get rid of (which I've done successfully). There's been lots of work to do, helping friends and family. And of course there's been lots and lots of time spent catching up with family and friends. I sincerely appreciate the chance to spend time with my loved ones here. My visits in the past couple years have always been only 3 or 4 days, so there was never enough time. While it's still been busy this time around, 2 weeks allows for much more quality time.

I'm enjoying cooking in a big kitchen, having regular access to a CLEAN shower, and being able to sleep past sunrise. But I do miss the clear skies of the west, campfires every night (though we have had one fire since being here), and sleeping in a tent. I'm really grateful for the rain and thunderstorms. Last night I sat on the porch with my dad just watching the lightning. I've missed Tennessee storms.

We're here until Sunday, and then we continue up to Indiana. Still things to do and people to see. And it'll be good to be on the road again.

Gator Bait

2011-05-03T17:52:00.000-07:00

These past many days have been rather full of adventure. We've been at a state park just outside of New Orleans with some friends. In fact one of my dear friends from Massachusetts is doing sort of the same thing we are, except in the opposite direction- heading for California. So our paths crossed here, and we are having a riot (sans the mosquito bites).
This is swamp land, and so the wildlife is unreal. Like something off the discovery channel. We saw, late at night, an owl trying to get into the nest of some sort of egret, who was viciously defending its territory. Then, two owls snuggling- or something that looked very much like it. We've almost caught an armadillo, too. I say we, but I mean Chip. He actually touched it. And the alligators! Wow, oh wow! We've seen them up close and personal, and what fantastic creatures they are.

We took the motorcycles out to the Bayou Sauvage Wildlife Refuge. It was really beautiful- full of cypress knees and live oaks, and lovely birds.
We also went into the city for a while. Heard some phenomenal live music- two girls, a violin, and a guitar- on Canal St. Then we walked up and down Bourbon Street just taking in the sights and sounds. It's definitely sensory overload there- and wicked funny.
Most days we spent lots of quality time around the campfire- dancing, talking, the boys playing music, eating delicious meals, and generally enjoying ourselves. It has been quite a lovely taste of community. It feels so wonderful to have other people around after a month of just being the two of us. That sense of community is something I'm learning more and more about- what I want in life, in a home, and in a path. I'm grateful for this time and experience.
We are heading to Pensacola FL now. And we passed I65 today. Made me really miss Tennessee. I'm seriously looking forward to getting back there and seeing everyone.
Every day it seems like new possibilities open up for the future. It's scary and exciting at the same time.

Finding myself again, in the South

2011-04-24T07:13:00.000-07:00

After San Antonio, we made our way down to Corpus Christi. I'd heard many things about Corpus, so I was excited to experience it. Since my uncle lives there, we got to stay for a few days and really check it out.

The aircraft carrier USS Lexington is there, a museum now. But it was quite interesting being on it, imagining this vessel of destruction in action. How many lives it had taken. How many spared. What capacity we have as humans, for war, for battle, for ingenuity. And how our curiosity is never abated.

We spent a lot of time at the beach. I hadn't been to the gulf since high school. It seemed saltier than the Pacific. Luckily the water was perfect, and we got to swim. We also got sand in our faces because the winds in Corpus are notorious. Apparently it's the place for wind sports.

The birding there was rather fantastic as well. I am so unfamiliar with water birds, so it was really cool to get out the books and the binoculars and have at it. The funniest birds are the Laughing Gulls because, of course, they truly sound like they are laughing. Every time I stepped outside and heard them, I'd question myself just a little- like what are they laughing at? Did I forget something? Did I miss something? They're in on the cosmic joke. And I'm not. Oh how lovely to be near them. We also saw them mating. Quite the hilarious ritual. I'd love to learn more about those birds. There were also many other types of gulls, herons, sandpipers, pelicans, and many more.

After taking a day to rest and do laundry and all the other mundane necessities, I was beyond ready to be sleeping outdoors again. I missed the moon and the stars and the sunrises and the sunsets. I'm starting to think of the tent as "home"- an interesting phenomenon.

My uncle gave me a GPS- something I never thought I'd have, but which has turned out to be very useful. We've used it every day since then, and although I was a bit resistant to the idea before having one, it's actually saved time and money. So we followed it into Bay City, TX, where we didn't spend much time at all, but did camp next to a swamp with the loudest wildlife I have ever heard. It was beautiful. All night long I felt like I was dreaming in a swampy symphony. What music! From there, we headed to a state park outside of Lake Charles. This one is also in the swamp land. The area was great, but the campsites weren't. Also, it turns out everyone goes to state parks for holiday weekends. We'd forgotten Easter was soon (it's hard to keep track of time like this), and so we could only stay one night because everything was booked. Other than the mosquitoes (I was eaten alive), it was nice.

We ended up asking around about other places to camp because none of the RV parks allowed tents, and all the state parks were booked. We were informed of a parish park. These are not listed on maps or the internet or anything, but apparently they are gems. Camping was $4 per night, and there were fewer people there. So- when in Louisiana, ask around for the parish parks.

And yesterday we rolled into Lafayette to visit my former and much admired French professor. We all went out to dinner at this delicious Indian place that had so many vegan options on the menu. It was so good. And our visit was so lovely as well.

Today we head just outside of New Orleans to meet up with some friends for a few days.

It's really interesting being back in the south. In Texas, I was catching the southern drawl, and here the accent is just intriguing- the whole creole thing. I want to ask people to keep talking just so I can revel in their accents. The humidity is really awesome. I'd missed it. Although I didn't miss feeling like I needed 5 showers per day. The mosquitoes are wretched, but I've learned my lesson with them. The trees and birds are exciting too.

It's time to hit the road, so more later. Love to everyone.

Photo update

2011-04-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

Vineyard at the Val Verde Winery

Sunset over the Railroad Bridge at Amistad Reservoir

Rock Painting at Fate Bell, Seminole Canyon State Park

The Alamo!

The River Walk

A fortnight, and still

2011-04-14T20:10:00.000-07:00

It's been two weeks today of being on the road. I realized how much I'm becoming addicted to watching sunrise every morning, and sunset every night. And, gazing at the stars every night because that's what you see. You don't have to make an effort. We haven't used the rainfly on the tent for a while now, and so all night long I wake up, look at the stars or gaze at the moon, and fall gently back to sleep. How wonderful this is!
Monday morning we headed to Amistad National Recreation Area, which is a beautiful reservoir just west of Del Rio, TX. Our campsite was surrounding by water on 3 sides. And it was cheap! Our camp hosts there ended up giving us some excellent advice on what to see and do in and around the area. Camp hosts are incredible resources, and usually pretty amazing people- so make a point to talk to them! They are volunteers from who knows where, and we've realized that many of them know each other and can connect you with some cool opportunities as well as fill you in on history, local flora and fauna, and tips about the area. I have a deep appreciation for all of the camp hosts we've met so far.
So Monday we explored Del Rio a little, found a grocery store (the first one in TX to sell tofu!! Yay!), and did a lot of enjoying the cooler weather (relatively, anyway) and the beautiful lake. Tuesday we (on the advice of our camp hostess) found the sole health food store in Del Rio. It's called Nature's Medicine Shoppe, and was an absolute paradise for me. We were able to find nutritional yeast, among other things, and the store had so many products that I know and love. The book section was even incredible. I could have spent a lot more time and money there. The woman who owns the place is incredibly kind, and we were able to chat with her about where to buy organic produce in the area. Places like this are invaluable assets to a community, in my humble opinion, and I'm so glad that this place does enough business to continue to exist.
Later, we visited the local winery which happens to be the oldest winery in the state of Texas, the Val Verde winery. Every wine in the tasting was delicious, which is not typical, and the hostess was so nice.
We then spent a couple hours in the library, where I randomly picked up a book of essays by Barbara Kingslover (I love her) entitled High Tide in Tucson. The first essay shared this title, and just happened to discuss many ideas about the differences between being animal and being human. I highly recommend this read, as it went right along with many of the thoughts I've been tossing around on this trip.
After a brisk and brief swim back at the campsite, the rest of the evening I spent enjoying nature. The area is populated by an energetic group of cliff swallows, and several scissor tailed flycatchers, one of which graced us with his presence.
Wednesday morning was a 35 mile jaunt over to Seminole Canyon which boasts the oldest rock paintings in North America, dated at 4000 years. The tour took us into the Fate Bell Alcove, where the paintings, although fading, can still be seen. Our guide said that they are fading at a rate which suggests they won't be visible at all in 20 years, so we may be the last generation to be able to view them. The feeling in this place was, of course, ancient, and magical. The symbols have yet to be interpreted since they are so old and belong to a group of hunter gatherers we know little about. The paintings were beautiful, and I would recommend trying to see them before 20 years goes by.
That afternoon we left Amistad to head for Kickapoo Caverns State Park. The Stuart bat cave is there, and is home to 500,000 bats this time of year. This place is truly in the middle of nowhere. To my delight, armadillos were running around all over the place (first time I've seen them in the wild), and porcupines too. Racoons and scorpions bigger than any of the ones I've seen in Arizona were also taking up residence there. A hybrid boar that is the offspring of domestic pigs and some sort of German boar also roam the twilight. The many many birds include the black capped vireo, which is endangered in large part due to the parasitic cowbird. All these things I saw. Including the 500,000 bats fly out of their cave at dusk, and proceed to be hunted by 2 peregrine falcons (the fastest animal on earth), which definitely dined well.
One of my favorite parts about this week was spending time with a couple from Quebec. We were on the same tour at Seminole Canyon, and wound up camped beside each other at Kickapoo. We were the only campers around, and the only 4 people at the bat cave. We enjoyed good food and drink, and wonderful and enjoyable conversation and company. Since they are native French speakers, I got to pick up some new phrases.
They are taking a similar route through Texas, so we may run into them again actually. It's easy to get so caught up in the solitude of nature (even when you are with one other person) on a trip like this, you sometimes forget about the joys of dinner with friends, etc. It's really nice to get to share the wilderness with others who appreciate it.
It helped the transition into San Antonio today in the sense that I was happy to be around other people. Our day began with breakfast in the woods, and right now I'm in a hotel room right next to the Alamo, in the middle of the 7th largest city in the US. To say that my senses have been overwhelmed today is an understatement. From driving into town, to trying to check into our hotel (which had somehow had us booked for two separate dates in May and not today), to finding a place to park, to fighting the Fiesta crowds to see downtown, I am exhausted. I am not a city girl, though I appreciate some of the things cities have to offer. I just think I needed a gentler reintroduction into the hustle and bustle of a city. Everything is so loud and so fast (I know this), but it seems so much more so after a time spent away from it all. Especially having lived in Tucson for the past three years, where even the hustle and bustle is nothing comparatively. So, I did get to see the Alamo, which was, like everyone said it would be, smaller than I'd imagined. But, I am glad I was able to stand before it. I also got to experience the River Walk, which is lovely if busy. We attempted to go to a vegan restaurant for dinner, which google maps said was only 1 mile away (it lied), but that didn't work out. So one margarita and a dozen mariachi bands on boats later, I called it a night. Too overwhelmed to appreciate it right now, so I will try again tomorrow. (By the way, mariachi bands on boats are a bad idea because you can't actually hear an entire song. I have a soft spot in my heart for mariachi bands, and I will follow them around drooling if left to my own devices. See, I have this vision every time I hear one play, of myself dressed in a beautiful flamenco dress with flowers in my hair on a moonlit veranda with the band playing and my feet flowing. Luckily, I got to hear one song from a stationary band tonight. Ah, yes.)
So, all is well, and I keep being reminded to let every feeling come, to be in awe, and to be here now. I've been trying harder than ever to live fully in the moment (though today was much more difficult for me). Que sera, sera. Right?

By the way, this internet connection and the fact that I left one of the cameras in the car means that I will have to post photos later. Ah well.

Leaving the Last Frontier

2011-04-10T16:13:00.001-07:00

Today we rolled out of Big Bend NP. It was getting so, so, so, so HOT. The park is half in the river basin and half in the mountains. At the river, temps are over 100 already, with limited shade. In the mountains it can be up to 20 degrees cooler, and there is shade to be had. Anyway, it was magnificent, but I would like to return in October. When they haven't been in drought for almost 8 months.

Friday night, we took a little hike into Boquillas Canyon. The trail winds down along the Rio Grande, with a great view of the city of Boquillas (the Mexican town just across the river). You climb down into the canyon and see how the river gouged out this beautiful place. There were horses that had crossed the river grazing on the grasses beside. It's a majestic place.

The next morning, it was the hot springs again. Trying to take advantage of them as much as possible. Fortunately, not many people frequent them- maybe they don't know about them. But you should certainly visit the hot springs if you are ever in Big Bend. Then, during the hottest part of the day, we headed up into the cooler Chisos mountains. We did a little hike out to what they call the Window, which has a great view of the park. The Chisos mountains are unique, and it was hard to get any photos to do them justice. The trail wound down the mountain, through several different types of terrain including a nice green treed area full of birds that I didn't know. The rocks were so many different colors because of all the minerals, and the sky was overcast meaning we were able to stay relatively cool.

The trail opened up to the window quite dramatically. The wind was crazy strong through here, and at the edge it just dropped straight down. It was a bit unnerving actually. But incredibly worth it. This is one of the more popular spots to see in the park, so I hear. And the hike is not difficult.

We took our time heading back to the hot river, though it was still burning up when we got there. We took a little walk before sunset on this trail next to the campground that had a great view of Boquillas and the Sierra del Carmen mountains.

Then last night one of the rangers gave a presentation on mountain lions. It was so so incredibly educational. This guy was a wildlife biologist and a ranger at Big Bend in the winter and Yellowstone in the summer. He explained the behavior of lions, the territory habits they have here in the park, and how to tell if a lion could pose a threat to you just by observing them. Apparently their coat turns reddish if they are nutritionally deficient (due to old age or the inexperience of youth, or injury). Typically this is the only time they would pursue a human (out of extreme and desperate hunger). I've seen mountain lions 3 or 4 times in Tucson, and they are so beautiful. It was nice to learn so much about them and know that they have an undisturbed home in the park.

Heading out of Big Bend, it's just more desert. Chihuahuan desert. There are a few small towns. We are in Sanderson now. When asking locals what there is to do here, they say "sit inside." It's just too hot to do anything. So I'm taking this time to be on the internet. Who knows when it will happen again.

Day 11 of being on the road, and the first night in over a week that I'll be sleeping within walls. It feels a little weird, but I'm grateful for some cool air and a nice shower. Living outside changes your skin so quickly- sunburn, bugbites, dirt, cuts, wind, etc. And I think it changes your soul even more quickly. Puts you more in touch with the elements, with the extremes. Makes you more pliable in a sense. Stronger, too. Part of the animal nature of being human. So many people try to deny this, but I think it is important to embrace this aspect of our existence. As important as embracing our divinity.

Well perhaps that's enough contemplation for one blog post. I hope this finds you well and alive and living your life to the utmost.

Shoot first, ask questions later

2011-04-05T17:43:00.000-07:00

Here I am in Texas. In Big Bend National Park, actually. The irony now is that there is absolutely no cell phone service for at least 30 miles, but there IS free wifi. So.
We've been over a week on the road now, and I love this life of no agenda, sleeping outside, facing the elements. And we've certainly faced them. It reminds me that I'm alive- it makes me realize that mother nature is so much more powerful than people give her credit for- the extremes, and the way the weather can change in a heartbeat. Living outside of walls and roof is the only way you could ever truly understand this.
We left Cloudcroft freezing cold and wound our way down the mountains and east.

We headed out to Bottomless Lakes State Park, just past Roswell. I've always wanted to see Roswell- I have a fascination with anything to do with the cosmos. Bottomless Lakes is a cool place because the lakes were formed by sinkholes, and they are full of gypsum (and they are not, in fact, bottomless). It was quite the abrupt weather change, rolling up to the park. It was pushing 100 degrees (and we'd come from 40ish). Luckily one of the lakes that we camped near had a swimming area complete with sandy beach, so it was

nice to just relax and enjoy that. The water was freezing cold but it felt so good compared to the sun. The weather stayed warm even after sunset, and the stars were super bright. I was even able to do yoga on the beach, under the stars. That felt really nice, being able to look up at the night sky from triangle pose... ah, yes. So all was nice. Then about 2 a.m. I woke up abruptly to the tent bowing in on us. The winds had reached 30 or 40 mph. It was extreme, and at the same time a cold front was moving in, so the temperature dropped into the 30s or 40s within half an hour. Frigid winds and bending tent poles kept us up for hours. We couldn't jump in the car because the car is full of junk. So we just hoped the tent poles wouldn't break. We unzipped the "windows" to let the air flow through, and that helped a bit. I can't even explain how intense the whole experience was. It actually felt like the wind could have picked us up. Finally the wind calmed enough to doze a little.

.
The next morning we took the bike (in freezing cold) into Roswell to check it out. The UFO museum there is a trip. It posts sworn statements from eye witnesses the night of the crash, and the President's radio broadcast that night. It also displays newspaper articles from that week. There are photographs of UFO's, and all sorts of interesting displays. There's also a research library open to the public. I was sort of hoping to get abducted or something, but no such luck.
That night the wind was a little bit nicer to us, but it certainly made its presence known. The next day we headed down to Carlsbad Caverns. We didn't make it in time to hit the caves before they closed for the day. We camped in White's City just outside the park, and it was overpriced and really weird. The whole "town" right there is completely run down. Apparently there is also no fire department to respond to emergencies. We are getting more and more remote as we go. The wind reared her majestic face again that night.

It woke us up just as the sun was rising (thankfully, because sunrise was beautiful), but it was so bad this time that we actually had to rush to get our tent taken down and pack up the car. It was really hard because everything was blowing like crazy, and you could barely keep your feet on the ground. As I was putting the tent in the trunk, a gust of wind slammed the trunk into my face- right between my eyes, to give me a nasty gash, blood and all.

So after getting everything shoved away, we took the bike up to the caverns just in time for them to open. It was crazy because we were alone in the caverns for most of the hike (it's a self guided thing). The stillness of the caverns was profound. Carlsbad is one of the largest by volume caves in the US- so the rooms were HUGE and expansive. I felt so much peace with the earth all around me like that. What a great morning.
That day's drive brought us into Texas- oh the flat dry expanse, and oh the oil trucks and oil rigs and oil everything. We stopped in Pecos, and a couple other tiny Texan places. (Good luck finding tofu off west Texas highways!!) That night brought us to Balmorhea State Park (a pricey place, for sure). The wind was nicer to us that night, and we were able to see the night skies quite easily. The coyotes sang me into and out of sleep all night long (I love that).
That brings us to yesterday. We headed straight to Big Bend NP. We stopped along the way. Alpine was the coolest little town so far. A great bookstore called Front Street. Check it out if you have the chance!

So we finally made it to the campsite around 5 p.m. and it was still 100 degrees. So hot and dry. This is the least visited National Park- it's in the desert, it's completely remote. And we are a stone's throw across

the Rio Grande to Mexico. The border used to be open, and apparently the little Mexican town just across the river is in trouble because their entire economy revolved around tourism from this park. It's pretty sad. They warn you that you can be arrested if you buy crafts from people selling them at the river- illegal commerce. So you see all these crafts laying on rocks (with no people around) and jars for money because they want you to just leave it there and take the item. If they catch you with these items, they confiscate them and fine you. So sad.
We went to a ranger presentation last night about the history of the last frontier, and the Texas Rangers. It was pretty awesome. I really wished my dad and brother could have been there with me for that. They would have LOVED it. The NP Ranger told stories of the wild frontier, and talked a lot about the type of person it takes to live in a place like this: rugged, courageous, forbidding, rough, etc. I like that alot. I like the idea of being at frontiers, of choosing to go forward into unexplored area or of running away.
So after a good nights sleep, and a twilight view of the Rio Grande, and bullfrogs and trespassing burros singing all night, we tried to find an owl we heard calling this morning (no luck) and then made our way to the hot springs (yes, yes!). They are amazing. Sitting flush up

against the River, you can bask in 105 degree water while staring across the river at Mexico and envying the birds that cross so freely. Ah, so nice.
And that just about catches everything up. Love from the last frontier!

On the Road Again (and again)

2011-04-02T17:56:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are. Day 3 of being on the road (again). I feel more wild and free with each passing moment. It's a process, though. Everything is, I suppose.
We've only been driving about 140 miles per day, which is nice in its own way. Taking it slow. I cried my eyes out leaving Tucson- her beauty and love will be with me always. But slowly as I got out of town, the feelings of loss upon leaving turned steadily into feelings of welcome from the open road. It's an existence that I adore and long for, and while it is always hard to leave a place, sometimes it is harder to stay. Movement calls to me, I will ever answer.
So Thursday, we finally managed to roll out of town close to 1 in the afternoon, after cleaning the apartment, packing the car, shipping a box, and saying goodbye to one of our favorite neighbors. We headed east, with the intention of going to visit Leslie Canyon, which is in Southern Arizona. I wanted to spend a night in the wilderness named after me. As it turns out, the roads to get there are unpaved, and my car being as loaded down as it is, this was not an option. So, instead we headed into the Coronado National Forest, to Chiricahua National Monument. The campground was full except for one site, which had orange cones blocking the right side of the drive. We weren't sure if this meant we shouldn't use the site, but I felt like it was the universe saying "don't stop." So we ended up driving into the Forest Boundary (on an unpaved road, as it turns out) for about 6 miles, and camping off the road in the wilderness. The spot we found happened to be next to a small windmill which pumped water into a trough for the many many cows who were ranging free around us. The only sound (other than nature) all night was the sound of the windmill whirling. How lovely!! With cows for company, and a magical forest, the evening was full of soulful feeling. A twilight walk past the windmill brought me to some beautiful trees. And the stars!! Oh! Orion seemed to be pulsating with energy, brighter than usual.

The next day we headed into New Mexico, on the lookout for Rockhound State Park. We have this atlas we found at Bookman's that is a camping atlas, so it marks all the campsites on the atlas and gives descriptions of the parks. It's coming in really handy. So, we made our way through the New Mexico desert, and it is so beautiful. Different than the Sonoran of course, but it holds its own magic. Yucca and prickly pear, scraggy mountains, and vivid horizons. Coming into the park, there were plenty of open spots, so we chose a spot uphill with an incredible view. Dinner has been consisting of reconstituting dehydrated meals I've made over the past several months. So they are all vegan and delicious and full of the energy that we need. Plus, it's so simple to make dinner. I also got to make use of the shower here, which was most welcome. Funny how good showers start to feel when you're not sure when you'll get your next one. The stars from this campsite were pretty phenomenal as well. I spent a long while just watching them. I think I'm starting to recognize more stars and constellations just by observation, which is great. Then, all night long, I awoke to the beautiful tones of coyote song- one of my favorite sounds in the world. It was wonderful!

This morning, we woke up there in the New Mexican desert where temperatures where getting into the upper 90s, and now I'm writing this at 10,000 feet elevation in Cloudcroft, in Lincoln National Forest, with the heater running and an ice skating rink down the road (outdoors). Our trek here involved a stop at White Sands National Monument, which I just love, and insisted on stopping at again (it's nice having the Annual Pass for National Parks, Forests, and Monuments because these things don't cut into the funds). We dumped the stuff on the back of Chip's bike into my front seat, and I hopped on the motorcycle with him, and we drove into the dunes.

That place has such a cleansing energy about it. Maybe it's the purity of the white sand that makes me feel so pure myself. I don't know, but I love it. So after that little jaunt, we wound our way up the mountains to check out every campground on the map (they were all closed). We found the ranger station, only to discover that the majority of the campgrounds up here don't open until May. So we found the one that was supposed to be open, turned around and drove there, and found that it was, in fact, closed. Helas! We could have either tried to make it to the next campground (outside of Roswell) or settle into a motel here. Since Chip is on the motorcycle, and its not the most comfortable thing, or the warmest, we opted for checking on the motels. We stopped at this old mountaintop place, and the guy inside was willing to be talked down in price since it's not their busy season. In fact, I think we're the only guests. The hotel has been around since the 1930's and the bar next door since the 40's. Clawfoot tub and everything- it's kind of cool. It does feel weird to be inside right now. But I am looking forward to a bath and some quiet (and warm) time.
So far so good. This journey is making me feel many things. Mostly, I feel like I'm doing what I want to be doing. That is very important to me right now. I am realizing that I do not have a destination, and I do not want one- not a physical one anyway. My destination right now is more about the spirit- to honor the sacred, to have faith in the universe and myself and life, and to be the person that I am (not the one that I think I should be, or that others think I am). Uprooting myself makes this a lot easier. Like you can breathe and think outside of the context of all the things we get caught up in living in civilized society. Sure, there are hard parts and dark parts and scary parts, but that's the point. To not be ruled by these things. To trust that all is as it should be. And that is definitely true right now.
All is as it should be.
I will keep posting whenever I get a good internet connection- so far this is the first time. I can update my facebook via my phone, but otherwise that's it. So stay tuned. Love to you all.

Transitions

2011-03-29T21:21:00.001-07:00

Well. Where do I begin? Having neglected this blog for four months is nothing compared to other parts of my soul I have been neglecting for even longer. But it's time. Transition time. In so many ways, I am yet again on the brink.
Jobless, houseless as of Thursday (I do not say homeless because I always have a home), destination-less (for the most part), and answerless (to all the questions I have for the Universe). I am ecstatic and thrilled and sad and growing. Saying goodbye is never easy, especially when you have to say it to beautiful, amazing children who you don't think truly understand (but probably understand more than you do).
We hit the road on Thursday, and the only goal is "east." We will camp or crash couches along the way, deciding on our route each day. What do we want when we get "east"? To be determined. Soul searching is in progress on so many levels. This epic journey will symbolize many internal journeys as well, and so I am excited. I will be posting updates as to our whereabouts (and probably hinting at the whereabouts of my soul) along the way.
Let me begin this ending with an ode to the Sonoran Desert, most beautiful and magical of spaces. In fact, if one could be in love with a place (and why couldn't one be?), that is how I would describe my feelings for this place I called home for 3+ years. She makes me want to be a better person. She reminds me of the magic inside myself. She makes me feel beautiful. She teaches me to be strong. She sings me songs in the solitude of the night. She whispers poems to me. She inspires an extreme range of emotions in me, and her mood always suits my own. Oh beautiful desert, magical place, with your golden sunsets, your purple mountains, your wonderful spines, mysterious flowers, hidden life, incredible creatures, your thirst, your storms, your wind, your dirt, your endless horizons, your piercing stars, I am yours. I always will be. I will miss you in the depths of my being, but there is no way I will not be back.
I remember so clearly the first time I came to Arizona, summer after senior year of high school when my dad took my brother and me to the Grand Canyon. I recall riding in the rental car as he drove us from Flagstaff to GC, and as I gazed out the window I recognized the magic here. I thought to myself "I want to live in Arizona some day." Well, life brought me here, and I have learned so much. It has all been rather epic, and I was lucky enough to meet some indescribably amazing people. That said, you (dear desert and dear desert friends) will be missed greatly. I hope you all will accompany me on my journey, and share your thoughts. They will be greatly loved. :)

on the moon and the sun

2010-12-21T13:12:00.000-08:00

Last night was pretty magnificent. Actually, magnificent doesn't even begin to describe it. A full moon total lunar eclipse on winter solstice. Pretty spectacular! The last time all of these things coincided was in 1638, and the next time will be in 2094. Thus, it is literally a once in a lifetime (or once in every several lifetimes) experience.

We went to bed a little early, and set our alarms to catch the beginning. When we first got outside, we were shocked to find cloudy skies. For the entire time I've lived in Tucson, I can literally count on both hands the number of times I've looked at the night sky to find significant cloud cover. Well, of course. Just early I had boasted that since we live in Tucson, we won't have to worry about clouds obstructing our view. Ha! Luckily, though, the clouds were thin, and somewhat scanty. It was easy enough to spot the moon in all her splendor, and follow the progression of earth's shadow across her face.

This is the moon at moonrise, around 5 p.m.

We drove to this random cul-de-sac in the neighborhood behind us, up in the foothills. Luckily, there are no streetlights up this way, but all the Christmas lights on the houses definitely contributed some un-needed light. It was cool to see other groups of people awake and gazing at the night sky. We watched the eclipse until totality, and then lingered a bit, and then gave in to the lure of sleep, as unfortunately we are still working this week.

And here she is just a few minutes before total eclipse. With a magical reddish glow.

Watching this phenomenon in the night sky rendered me contemplative. For one, I knew that friends of mine all over the country were watching the very same thing as I was. And I thought of them, and imagined where they would be standing or sitting, and whether or not there were clouds, and how cold it was. In this way, we were together. In the same way, I imagined all the people, throughout the history of humanity, who have gazed in wonder at the night sky. What did they think? What was their frame of reference? What stories did they tell? Who was the first human to notice such an event? What did they all feel? And I like to imagine that all of us feel much the same way- small and full of wonder. The perspective this brings contributes to a sense of unity amongst us- humans here on this planet. It can be easy to forget, amongst the wars and senate bills and agribusinesses and superstars, that we are all just humans, sharing this same experience- a life on Earth. Even the people we put above us or below us, the people who are never amongst us- they, too must gaze at the sky from time to time. And I'd like to think that we all share that feeling- that little spark of something. The spark that leads to curiosity and questions and gratitude and perhaps a little fear.

This contemplative mood brought me straight into winter solstice today. The shortest day and longest night. The time when the earth's axial tilt is farthest from the sun. This occurrence, this day, has such a rich history. Virtually all of the holidays that are celebrated in this time of year rise from this event. The darkness. The longest night. The sun rises again in the morning, the rebirth of light. This is why we see festivals of light this time of year. Humans have gathered around fires, drank hot beverages, and shared food and love with friends and family since ancient times. There are even stories that tell of the Egyptians bringing green sprigs into their homes during winter, to remind them of spring's return. The tree, the wreath, even Santa Claus are all rooted in deeper traditions which celebrate light's return and the intensity of dark. Do some research- read about the different traditions that radiate from the solstice. They are rich and full and beautiful. And do your own meditations. Now is the time to find the gifts that darkness has to offer. This is the rule of the moon, linked with intuition and creativity. Perhaps it is time to embrace those things. Now is the time give closure to those things no longer needed in your life, and to welcome the rebirth of light.

I wish you all a very blessed solstice. May it be rich and full and filled with love and contemplation.

on free tea

2010-12-15T15:47:00.000-08:00

My favorite company, ever, is hosting a giveaway. Of tea!! Tea is an amazing way to relax, rejuvenate, heal, and spend time with other people. Check it out!!!

Mountain Rose Herbs Blog Giveaway

on gratitude, winter, and ceremony

2010-12-10T10:26:00.000-08:00

Although the holiday decor is beginning to overwhelm the simple beauty of the desert, the days are still hitting 80 degrees around here. The season of holidays & family doesn't feel quite the same when it's not cold, and family is too far away. We've still been managing to suck it all in, though.

Feelings of gratitude filled Thanksgiving with the meaning it should always have. Not only am I grateful for amazing friends and family, but also for the beauty that nature inspires me with, for the most incredible man as my husband and love, for what the past has taught me, for what the future holds, and mostly for this very moment. To be alive and healthy and to hear birds singing and feel a breeze on my toes as I type this.

We celebrated our gratitude with good food and good friends. Our first vegan Thanksgiving was the most delicious one yet.

We've also been trying to create our own traditions. Once we have a family of our own, we want the special things to share with each other. It's hard because we don't want all those traditions that promote materialism, selfishness, waste, and other tenants of the "American dream." So we're re-designing things. For example, on the equinox I wrote down all the things that I wanted to invite into my life and all those that I wanted to let go of. This is in an effort to recognize the balance represented by equinox.

So, for solstice, we decided to create a yule wreath. This idea was inspired by another blogger. Since we have no fir trees or evergreens close by, we collected foliage from native flora: palo verdes, mesquite trees, yucca stems, and desert sage.

We created a wreath, and Chip carved candle holders out of wood. We have four candles around the edges (one for each element: earth, air, fire, water), and one in the middle which we will light on solstice. This is to honor the light that is in each element, and the darkness as well. And when the final candle is lit, it will be the candle that burns through the longest night, welcoming the sun back to her throne come morning. I think it is important to recognize the balance in life and earth, and to embrace the elements that make up our life. These are things I want to share with my children. This season is more than plastic toys and cookies and cakes. It's also bigger than specific religious ideas suggest. People have been celebrating and honoring the balance of light and dark since before recorded history. We hope to keep this consciousness alive. It's really great to be able to create your own traditions- so that they hold real meaning for you and yours.

Hopefully, this is just one step on the path to leading a fuller, more conscious, more meaningful life. One that focuses on the present moment and our relationship to the world around us and inside us. :)

on celebrating the dead

2010-11-12T05:48:00.000-08:00

Every year in Tucson, just after Halloween, thousands of people come together to celebrate the dead. Drawing mainly on traditions from the Mexican holiday Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead), we gather wearing masks, face paint, and costumes, and bearing lanterns, flowers, candles, altars, and signs which honor those who have passed, and we walk through the streets. Tradition has it that the veil between the living world and the spirit world lifts during this time, so that the spirits are free to roam the living world. By wearing masks or face paint that hide our living form, we invite the spirits to come amongst us, as no one will be able to tell who is living or who is dead. We wait for our ancestors and loved ones who have passed on- as they will surely visit us. We set a place for them at table, and leave a special bread (pan de muertos, or bread of the dead) on the altar, and the spirits are thought to consume the essence of it. If we were to eat it the next day, it would have no nutritional value because the spirits would have taken that. Some families have feasts in the cemetery, to honor other family members buried there.

At the Tucson All Soul's Procession, the creative community puts some major effort into this celebration. There are performers of all sorts, vocalists, musicians, stilt walkers, fire dancers, aerial dancers, artists, and more. The parade of souls comes to an end, and a performance ensues, which honors and celebrates those who have passed. A large paper urn has led the procession here, and within this urn are thousands of papers with messages, thoughts, and prayers written by Tusconans. The urn is lifted by crane, and lit on fire in front of everyone. Thus, our words are sent up and out into the universe. Such a symbolic community prayer is so powerful.

I really love this celebration. I think that our American culture does a really lousy job of dealing with death. Death is the one thing we can be certain of. And we avoid it, run from it, and do not talk of it. Funerals here are somber and grief filled things that most dread. Why? When in so many other cultures, death is celebrated. I'm not saying that grief shouldn't exist- grief is there and necessary and good and hard and human. Rather, we should embrace that grief instead of hiding from it. We should celebrate the lives of those who have passed, and whose impressions remain. Life is a beautiful thing, and to have lived it at all is quite phenomenal. We are thankful for those who have made these impressions on us, that we had the chance to know them at all during their time here. We celebrate and honor the love they showed, the things they did, the people they touched, the passions they shared. These things are beautiful. And regardless of your beliefs about life after death, the people who have passed are never completely gone. They live on in our hearts and our memories. And we miss them. And this celebration honors that. That we miss them, and that a part of them is with us always.

I have learned much during my time in Tucson, and when we move away this spring, one of the things I will take with me is this celebration. Wherever we are, I will honor the dead in this way- with celebration and offering.

on the passing of one who lived well, fully, and with vigor

2010-11-04T08:09:00.000-07:00

I found out yesterday that one of my history teachers from high school was killed in a car accident in Greece. Mrs. Sarah Bayrd was fortunate enough to die doing what she loved, and with a friend no less.

I was shocked by the news, as one always is when death knocks so close to home. But, it is good to always be reminded of the fragility of life, as you never know when he will come knocking for you.

So I remember her. She was the most unique teacher I've ever had (or known for that matter). Vibrant doesn't even begin to cut it. Her energy engulfed the entire school, it seemed. I can't remember her without a smile on her face, and a little sparkle (of mischief, perhaps) in her eyes. I was never very enthralled by history in general, and I certainly fell asleep trying to read history textbooks (too bad I only discovered historical fiction novels later on), but I remember her class. I remember that she brought history out of the text and into your face. We were always engaged in projects, and the class was always interesting. The things I remember the most, and which I feel helped to shape the person I am today, are her "muckraker" lessons. This is when she challenged us to do as Upton Sinclair did in "The Jungle," and dig up the muck. In this context, I remember the famous lecture on how hot dogs are made (what they are made of, to be more precise). Same for canned meat. Meat packing plants. And then finding out about genetically modified foods. And to this day, I have a fear of hotel/motel rooms because of her lecture on all the cleaning practices/ bacteria lurking in them.

I feel like this sort of digging and questioning has helped me to be a more conscious consumer, and a much healthier person overall. Thank you, Mrs. Bayrd.

What blows me away is how many lives she has touched. Within a day of the news of her death, almost 2,000 people had already posted memories, anecdotes, and messages of love and admiration on a facebook page created for her. She affected so many lives in such positive ways- inspiring, teaching, loving, laughing, and spreading her passion for history, for travel, for teaching and learning, and for life in general. What a beautiful legacy to leave behind.

Sarah Bayrd, your passions live on in all who knew you, and may your spirit always find adventure.

on reflections

2010-10-18T07:01:00.000-07:00

Autumn always puts me in a certain mood. It's a sweet sort of melancholy that rolls in with the cool evening air, like reckless joy sets daily with the sun, earlier and earlier. I love the way it makes me feel. To me, it's a time of reflection. This is true of all autumns. Autumn is the quiet time before winter, before death. Spring is rebirth. Summer is the prime of life. Every season has its purpose. So they say once you reach a certain age, that you are in the autumn of your life. It must feel like this: a remembrance, a reflection, a sharp awareness of the present leaves that fall one by one off cooling trees. So I savor this time each year. You never know if this will be your final autumn. It's important to take the time to be in this sort of moment- this very unique sort of space, where something is inevitably over, and it's still hard to see the place where that feeling might return. Yet, knowing that summer (and all the feelings of being in it) is finished, is what begins autumn. And when you think of your life now, it is harder to see endless possibilities, it is harder to think that the road is in front of you and the wind is at your back. Now, rather, it seems as if the roads get dark earlier and earlier, the wind at your back is too cold. It's hard to see where you are going. And that is okay. Now, it is time to be quietly with yourself. To think about your life and yourself: where you are and where you have been. Some people say to put the past away, but I think it is good to hold it lovingly in your lap for a part of a season, just to remember what brought you here and made you this person. Who shaped your thoughts? Who taught you love? Whose words fill up your veins? Which places showed you sacred? Which songs embraced you? And so I reflect...

Gavin turned three last week. Three! Time marches on. It is hard to believe that it was almost three years ago that I met his crying face. That he would stop screaming if I sang to him, but only certain songs. I saw him eat his first foods, roll over, sit up, take his first steps, wear his first underwear, say his first words, hit me the first time, kiss me the first time, and grow into such an amazing little boy- so full of energy and a wonderful sense of adventure and curiosity. I can't believe he's three.

And Isabella, who will be 2 in February. Two!? I watched her grow in utero, talked to her via Emily's belly, brought Gavin to the hospital so we could meet her the day she was born. She and I have been through a lot together. She had a rough start, and our bond grew from that, I think. She is full of love, a gentle child when she feels it, but a fire cracker too. She knows what she wants, that girl. And she will find a way to get it. She is a problem solver. And she loves to laugh. When I think of Isabella, I think of giggles and silly faces. She taught me patience and perseverance, and about the depths and trials of love for a child.

And James, in second grade already! Growing up, find his passions, having adventures of his own. Learning to be a big brother. I remember my first day with him, too. A three year old who did not take kindly to rules. My, how much fun we had, and it only took a couple of days. James taught me what adventure really means, and how to see the world in a completely different way. What a wonderful boy he is, full of love for life, and a joy of learning, and so full of light.

To have these experience, and to not yet be a mom blows my mind. I am so lucky. I am so ready for children of my own.

I reflect on family. On the family I want to be for and with my children and Chip. I think of strength, unconditional love, support, encouragement, stability, endurance, gentleness, respect, admiration, and joy. I think it will be quite incredible to meet the people that my children will be, and to share with them a life, for so long, and through so much. The human journey blows my mind.

I reflect on myself. I have changed so much (and am ever changing). Each progression I feel moves me closer to finding my true self. The person I am at the core (and always have been). I keep discovering things, and embracing things, and I love it. Life is so full of beauty.

So many people have come into my world and taught me things, or shown me things, or helped me to selve. I am so grateful for each and every experience. I would not change one thing. I am who I am because of these things. People lost, and people found.

And all the places that have brought me here. Nashville (oh, Nashville), Amiens, Massachusetts, Ogden (oh, Utah), Tucson (and her desert), and most of all the road. Much of myself I encountered on the road, somewhere between here and there, and sometime between night and day. But not just the places I have lived, also the places I have visited. Everything leaves its impression, you know.

I think its appropriate that Halloween and Thanksgiving are part of autumn. Halloween is for remembering those who have continued on, behind the veil. So I think of them. I think of Chip Adkisson, of how he taught me about music and he taught me about poetry (and his self written epitaph taught me about bravery), and his death taught my fifth grade self about the depths of sadness and about reality. I think about Grandaddy Roy and the songs he would teach me, and about his harmonica, and his fiddle. He passed his bluegrass soul on to me, and I think he had wandering blood in him, too. His death came early in the morning, amidst a haze of confusion, and I was younger, and I think more sad for everyone else's sadness than for my own (because perhaps I saw death as not so final). I think about Aunt Louise and I think of her smile and her love, and though I didn't know her as well as I could have, I miss her sometimes. Her death is surrounded by injustices in so many ways, so I think about that too. Are we at all entitled to justice? I think about others as well. I think about Chip's father, and his brother, whom I never met. I love them both. I wish I could have known them. Mostly I think about Grandaddy. His death was sudden- too sudden. But I had just seen him two days before- and had thought- my grandparents may not be around too much longer. And I had asked him to tell me his jokes, and I had hugged him, and told him how much I loved him. And his death pushed me over certain edges. His death forced me into parts of myself that I had been unwilling to acknowledge. His death tore the bonds of family, and pushed many people to extremes. His death... what can I say. I miss you Grandaddy. You taught me so much about life- about horrors and war and fear and courage. You taught me to laugh- always to laugh. And to question things. And I found a poem you kept in your drawer. And it brought me happiness.

Death is a good teacher. Our culture avoids death- avoids thinking about it, talking about it, acknowledging that it will happen to us. But it will. We will all die. And that's okay. All those people are still with me- they are me, because they have shaped me. And there are people who are not dead, yet they are not alive. And those people I have mourned as well. I have mourned the loss of their love. Mourned their rejection of love and life. And that has shaped me, too.

And I think about my own death. Am I afraid? I'm afraid of pain more than death I think. But I will deny that I will die someday. Of course I hope that I have time to have a family, and accomplish things. But everyday I try to remind myself that you never know.

And from death comes life. That is spring. It is all part of this cycle. We all go through it every year, every day. What else has died for you? Passions, projects? Ideas? Relationships? Fears? And what will be born of these deaths? That is a question, perhaps better contemplated in the mood of spring. For now, let's appreciate all the things that have brought us here. The things that have ended, yet do not have ends (because they are in us). The dark evenings are cool and quiet. A warm cup of tea and your thoughts are good company. This is autumn. We prepare for death. We reflect. We fill ourselves with the loves and hopes and joys and losses of life, and we wait. Because we know that spring will come.

on autumnal equinox

2010-09-22T12:46:00.001-07:00

Today is autumnal equinox (at least where I live, though it's technically tomorrow if you're going with universal time), and the equinox is all about balance. We welcome the harvest time, the bounty of the earth, the fruits of the trees and at the same time we recognize the time of cold and dark, the barren time that is approaching. We put away our harvests to help us through the winter. We chop the wood that will warm us and light our dark evenings. We give thanks for both.

This is a great time to meditate on the balance in your own life. Write down all the things that you have begun, that are fruitful, and all the things that you intend to begin (be it a state of mind or a physical project). Think about how each of these things will bring positivity and creativity into your life. Then, write down all the things you've left unfinished. Think about why. If they no longer add anything to your life, then it is time to say goodbye. If perhaps they would add to your life, then bring about the intention to pick them back up. Also think about all those things and emotions that you wish to get out of your life. You can burn the list of negative things as a symbolic way to embrace that particular energy.

Remember the importance of balance. The human body is constantly striving to create a state of balance (homeostasis). Down to our cells, we are striving for balance. All of our life processes happen in order to maintain balance. Bring this natural state to your conscious mind, and to all aspects of your life.

Now is a great time to change some things in your life. Just open yourself up to that.

I also really enjoy celebrating the bounty of this time of year. Our farmer's have had some winter squash at market, and lots of delicious apples. These things along with certain spices like cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, and ginger put me in the autumn mindset. Here in the desert, it's a lot different from the turning leaves of the east, but I can still sense the change. The birds are migrating south. The rains are coming to an end. The 100 degree days are still around, but the evenings are getting cooler and cooler. Plus, there's something in the air. I can almost smell it.

I'd like to leave you with a couple of recipes to celebrate the harvest:

Harvest Soup

2 apples, cored and cubed
2 sweet potatoes or yams, peeled and cubed
1 butternut squash peeled, seeded, and cubed
1/2 onion, peeled and cubed
optional: carrots, acorn squash, pumpkin
2-3 cups vegetable stock
salt
pepper
cayenne
nutmeg

Put everything in a crock pot or stock pot. For a slow cooker, cook on high about 4 hours. For a stock pot, bring to boil, and then reduce to simmer until veggies are tender. Once the veggies are all tender, scoop out half of the soup and puree it in a blender or food processor. Add it back to the pot, and mix everything up. At this point I usually add a little extra nutmeg, and it's nice to garnish it with walnut pieces. Try adding cinnamon or cloves for a little adventure. (recipe adapted from one found in How It All Vegan)

Harvest Barley Pilaf, Baked Acorn Squash, and Shitake Sweet Potato Salad

Harvest Barley Pilaf
2 cups pearl barley, cooked
1 cup lentils, cooked
1/2 squash (you choose), chopped
1 sweet potato , chopped
1 carrot, chopped
cinnamon
vegetable stock

Add everything together in a large saucepan, bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer until veggies are tender and vegetable stock is evaporated. Yum!

Baked Acorn Squash
Acorn squash
olive oil
maple syrup
cinnamon

Cut the squash in half and scoop out seeds. Lay it scooped side down in a baking dish and bake for 45 minutes on 350. Turn it over and drizzle olive oil, maple syrup, and sprinkle cinnamon over the squash. Bake for another 25 minutes. Enjoy!

Shitake Sweet Potato Salad
Spinach
sweet potatoes
shitake mushrooms
garlic
walnuts
red wine vinegar
mustard

Cut potatoes into slivers and bake for about 30 minutes or until tender. Sautee the shitakes and garlic until just done. Mix together the red wine vinegar and mustard for the dressing. Put everything with the spinach, toss, and enjoy!

These recipes were all adapted from varying recipes I've found in books and on the web.

Hope you have a happy harvest. Enjoy it. Wishing you the bounty of the earth and much love and balance.

celebrating dance

2010-08-30T08:11:00.001-07:00

This past weekend my dance troupe Saguaro Bellydance performed a little number at San Diego's Celebrate Dance Festival out in Balboa Park. It was remarkable because we were joined by five of Christa's lovely students, and they certainly made the show. As many of you may know, we did a wild west themed set, dancing to several of Ennio Morricone's tracks from spaghetti westerns, along with some newer electronic stuff. It was the perfect fusion, and other than the CD player at the event being unable to read our CD, which worked fine in other players, it all went rather smoothly. Luckily we had all but one track on Christa's ipod, and so only had to give up performing the one. We had a super engaging audience, and I really had a blast up there. Christa and I choreographed all the songs for the set, and I designed the costumes and made many of them, and I have to give mad props to the girls for making parts of their costumes and for their creative style. I thought everyone looked really great, and it was so fun for us to have 5 more dancers up with us, as we are so used to it being just the two of us. Here are some pics from the show.

I got to see a couple of other dance groups perform as well, and they were all beautiful and amazing dancers. I loved being part of an event whose purpose is to celebrate my greatest passion in life. It's such a wonderful thing to share, and there are so many beautiful dancers and styles out there to see.

a visit from family

2010-08-30T07:38:00.000-07:00

Two weekends ago, my mom and my aunt came out to Tucson to visit. It was so wonderful to have them here, as we most certainly rocked the desert.

They arrived Wednesday night with bags full of jewelry and fabric for me from my grandmother. She gave me some amazing jewelry pieces, that I have already worn in performance!

The following day we all made our way down to Tombstone- the old west town famous for the gunfight at the OK Corral. Sure it's a bit touristy these days, with souvenirs and actors, but it's really rather interesting to imagine what life must have been like on the real frontier. It's easy to glorify the wild west thanks to all the spaghetti westerns and cowboy stereotypes that exist, but in reality it must have been one hell of a hard life. I have so much admiration for all the people who endured it, because they made it possible for me to be here now, learning what I am from the desert. So anyway, I love visiting Tombstone.

We wandered the dirt streets and little shops, and even did one of those old time photos, which was really fun and really cheap, it being the 100 degree off season. Heading into Big Nose Kate's Saloon for a bit of libation is really like going back in time, as the decorations are all old west appropriate (and possibly partly authentic), and the waitresses all dress as saloon girls. The atmosphere was pretty laid back, and there were tons of tourists inside. There was even an old cowboy who interrupted our snack to bring us all over the bar taking funny pictures.

Later that night, I served them one of the many vegan gourmet dinners that I would make over their visit. They didn't seem to mind too much. :)

We spent the next day in antique/ thrift/ and second-hand stores (of which there are many) all over town. It was really fun. I haven't been shopping other than for food in who knows how long, and to have some lovely ladies to do it with was quite a treat, as all of my female friends in Tucson have young children, making the shopping experience quite a bit different. We found some amazing little treasures, had lunch at Lovin' Spoonfuls (the yummy vegan restaurant here), and ended the spree by a visit to the boot store, where they both found some lovely cowgirl boots to complete the desert experience. That night we watched some very talented fire dancers performing on 4th, and had a grand ol' time.

Saturday I took them to my favorite farmers' market, so we could stock up on fresh local veggies. There has been a couple selling herbs and spices the last several times I've been there, and I've been so excited about this. They have a killer curry, and most everything else I need on short notice, because when I order from Mountain Rose, it takes about a week to arrive (which is well worth it for bulk, but have immediate access is nice for a few things).

Mom and Janet helped me all day preparing for Satomi's goodbye party which was that evening. I made a soba noodle dish and a green tea agar agar dessert, which didn't turn out as I hoped. It was a bittersweet evening, because I hate saying goodbye to dear friends, but I was glad that the monsoon sort of sanctified the whole experience with a downpour, thunder, and lightning. All the kids had an absolute riot playing in the mud, and I think the adults were pretty jealous watching them.

After the party, we headed to the Surly Wench for a show by Black Cherry Burlesque. It was highly entertaining and at some parts extremely amusing.

The next morning we woke up early to go greet the desert morning at Sabino. You really have to be in the middle of it in order to experience the true abundance of the desert. A perfect thing to do before catching a flight home. Ah, more goodbyes. It will be really nice to live close enough to family to be able to see them more often.

It was so awesome having them here. Now, I'm trying to convince my dad to come out and visit. He would love it.

on the beach and around the house

2010-08-18T13:28:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, we headed out for a bit of ocean breeze. San Diego was wonderful as always, albeit a bit too cold for my taste. This weekend was dress rehearsal for Saguaro's big performance at Celebrate Dance at the end of this month. The girls looked fabulous in their costumes, designed and sewn by yours truly.

Our afternoon at the beach involved one too many jackets, but I sincerely appreciated the chance to dig my toes into the sand and listen to the waves. Saturday evening we partook of some absolutely mouthwatering *vegan* Ethiopian food. Oh yum. I now hope to learn how to cook these things, because I really loved them.

A weekend of dance, good food, oceans, and sleeping in a tent can never be bad. Especially if it's all with the love of your life and your best friend. Definitely a good weekend.

Sometimes, though, it's the little things at home that can make me as happy as a grand adventure. Perhaps I need to give more credit to these things. Perhaps they are worthy of a post every now and then.

Today, I am awaiting the arrival of my mom and my aunt for a greatly desired visit to the desert. In preparation, I'm cooking up some collard greens, pinto beans, and butter"milk" cornbread. I buy dry beans in bulk and cook them over hours- which is a nice way to enjoy an afternoon. You can't leave because the beans are on, so you have to take a deep breath, relax, and read a book, or sip a cup of tea, or sing to the plants. I usually cook the beans in vegetable stock, which we make when we have enough vegetable scraps or veggies that are on their way out. Recently I've started to add herbs to the stock. Things like echinacea and burdock root that are happy to simmer for an hour or two, releasing their medicinal properties along with the veggies and more conventional cooking herbs (sage, thyme, rosemary, oregano, fennel). I feel like this is a great way to get some extra "medicine." Not to mention a yummy stock. So now my pintos are beyond nutritional.

On a different note, I've been getting away from commercial body care products for a while now, but I've had lots of trouble finding a shampoo alternative. I've tried about 10 different homemade herbal shampoos, but they all involve a little bit of castille soap which is oily, and thus does not work on my oily hair. So I had been using Trader Joe's Tea Tree shampoo about once a week just to cut the grease. But the other day, I researched some alternative and found a great trick: Tea!! The tannins in tea will act as a grease cutter when sprayed onto your hair/ scalp. I spray it on, let it sit for a bit, and then rinse my hair out with water. Voila! My hair looks freshly washed. I'm super excited about this find. And, in my opinion, the best place to buy your tea (organic, fair trade, etc) is Mountain Rose Herbs. So, make yourself a pot of tea, drink a few cups, and spray the rest in your hair before a nice relaxing shower.

Now, it's time for lunch. I'm going to attempt a Japanese dish called Inari. My friend so kindly gave me her recipe, and went with me to the Asian market to find all the right ingredients. It is absolutely delicious, so I'll let you know if it works out.

Until then, Itadakimasu!

on another grand adventure!

2010-07-12T18:04:00.000-07:00

Today is my first day back home after 10 days of incredible adventure. I love that post-trip haze that clouds everything as you try to unpack and readjust to being home again. You are different than the you who left for the trip- and all that you've learned, felt, and experienced is hovering around your thoughts. Impressions of all your adventures are trying to integrate themselves into the you of your daily life, and it can take a while. I love this feeling. You are assured an existence outside the daily grind, and you can look at old things with new eyes. Ah, yes.

So let me tell you all about it. Chip and I have officially named this particular trip (which we also are counting as our offical honeymoon) VIVA- vicious intense vacation adventure. And of course, viva being spanish for live, we were incredibly overjoyed to spend these days living completely on our own terms. Too many people just tell themselves they'll do things later, when they have the money, or when they retire, and unfortunately never end up doing them at all. So we vow to always do things now, regardless of the excuses we can come up with. And this particular trip really felt good in the extremity of the now it encompassed.

Friday we hit the road, car loaded down with 3 tents, 2 cookers, sleeping bags, mats, a cooler full of food, more dehydrated food than we knew what to do with, sunscreen, bugspray, firewood, and so much other gear that Thel could barely accelerate. Destination numero uno: GC, Arroyo Grande, The Pit, none other than The Grand Canyon National Park. It being the infamous fourth of July weekend, and this trip decision arising a mere 2 weeks prior, we were incredible lucky to have been able to obtain campsite reservations for this and Saturday nights.

The park was full. We arrived around 9 p.m., (luckily driving through dusk, as we saw some elk on the way in) and thus had a blast trying to find the campground sans map and then pitch our tent in the dark. We got a good fire going and cracked open a couple of Blue Moons and all was well.

The next morning we arose to the caw-caw-caw's and nevermore's of dozens of Common Ravens who so beautifully graced the campground in hopes of a scrap or two. Though I thought I was keeping a clean camp, one of these mischievous fellows actually pecked a hole in a plastic bag full of black sugar to steal a lump from me.

After a delicious breakfast of smoked (although not intentionally) taters, we hiked out to the Rim Trail from the campground and then westward along the rim. We were privy to the comings and goings of a great many cute critters, and of course the grand and breathtaking views all along the trail. It was Chip's first time there and I was so glad to finally get to show it to him. We wandered around the rim and in and out of the visitor centers reading the history and checking out the field guides. We saw so many awesome birds:

White throated swift

Pygmy Nuthatch

White breasted Nuthatch

Broad tailed hummingbird

Violet green swallow

Common Raven

Juniper Titmouse

Western Scrub Jay

Western bluebird

Mountain Chickadee

Golden crowned kinglet

After hiking about 4 miles along the rime, we took advantage of the free shuttlebus to ride up to the westernmost overlook. There and at Desert View are some pretty good glimpses of the Colorado. How amazing to think that this is what cut the canyon over so many years!

We headed back to camp for some grub (awesome grilled peppers, zucchini, taters, and boca burgers) and then took off back to the rim to catch the sunset. Always my favorite view of the canyon- the colors get so intense and the feeling is incredibly surreal. Post sundown, it was back to camp again for a fire and an early turn-in.

Early Sunday morning we were up, fed, and packed for a long day of driving. Destination numero dos: Ogden, UT (where I lived for 4 months in 2007). My favorite drive in the country is through Northern AZ and Southern UT, Highway 89 snakes its way through some of the most breathtaking views and interesting little towns. We headed up I15 once we hit it, and landed in North Ogden around 6 p.m. The plan was to see my friend who lives there, and crash at her place for the night, but for reasons I'm still not entirely sure of, we never were able to meet up with her. After waiting around NO until 7:30, we decided we'd be better off to get back on the road and get closer to Yellowstone, as opposed to having a 5 hour drive the next morning. So, we made it to Idaho Falls, got a room, showered (as we hadn't for 2 days and knew it'd be our last chance again for 5), and crashed. I was exhausted from driving about 12 hours that day, and nervous because I knew the real adventure would start the next day.

Monday was THE day. Our reservations for 5 days in the Yellowstone backcountry started that day. We had to pick up our permit by 10 a.m. So up early and on the road, we drove a little ways through Idaho, into Montana, and finally Wyoming... through some very beautiful parts of the Targhee National Forest. And, a good omen, we saw an Osprey fly overhead as we were on the way. Upon finally arriving in Yellowstone (I had been dreaming of this moment for a couple of years), we had a little bit of trouble finding the backcountry office, as everyone we asked pointed us someplace that was not it. A lack of a map, 30 + miles, and one super unfriendly park employee later, we found the office with 13 minutes to spare (they give up your reservation if you don't make it on time- or fail to call- so we could have called if the need had arisen). Now I was getting super pumped. My only other backcountry adventures were much shorter (at most 2 nights) and in Tennessee (just a little different than Wyoming grizzly country). The rangers were super nice and after a cheesy orientation, we walked out with well wishes and permits in hand. Oh yeah!!

Seventeen more miles to the Delacey Creek Trailhead and here we go. We had so much stuff to pack out- food for 5 days- all dehydrated- water filter- warm clothes (the forecast said the lows would be around 35 F), etc. After about an hour of trying to get everything into our packs and our other stuff put in the car, we were off. Neither one of us could lift our own packs, much less walk with them on. They were ridiculously heavy (owing much to toting too much water at first- I guess we're too used to hiking in the desert sans water source- and the fact that Chip's sleeping back and backpack [which I was using] weigh about 30 pounds apiece on their own). So, yes, we need better gear, but we couldn't exactly afford all the lightweight stuff and still afford to go on this trip- so you cope. The first couple miles were painful as we adjusted to carrying that much weight, and the lack of sleep and proper meals prior to leaving. I think the knowledge that we had a 9 mile hike to complete that day didn't help much either. 9 miles might sound like nothing to some of you serious trekkers who do 15 miles per day, but let me make our case- neither of us had packed out in years, we were at 8500 ft, our packs were crap, and we were carrying too much water. At least in spite of all this, I was able to appreciate the beauty of the whole thing. And what beauty there was!! Yellowstone is really something else, and the Shoshone Lake area is breathtaking. 3 miles from the trailhead lies Shoshone Lake, the largest backcountry lake in North America. It was super windy as we approached, and we noticed the mosquitoes were out, but it wasn't too bad at that point. We stopped for lunch (bean dip, zucchini chips, and homemade chapati), and then kept on. And on. So it felt. The trail hugs the lakeshore for most of the trek, then cuts inland for a couple miles before leading to campsite number 1: 8R3. Official time: 5.5 hours.

Seeing the sign was oh so sweet relief. We were worn out. The site is a good ways off the trail, through the woods, and to the lakeshore. There was a gorgeous view from the main area, and we pitched our tent much farther away uphill in the woods. The lodgepole pines are really gorgeous- so thin and tall. It's a young forest, as they tend to catch fire pretty often, and there are tons and tons of down trees. The cones only open when exposed to a heat source, so they rely on wildfires to reproduce.

It was really cold that first evening, as the wind was relentless. It was difficult to pump water from the wavy lake, but we did and dinner was a success. We made good use of the bear poles, and followed the Leave No Trace philosophy the entire trip.

I was entirely convinced that we would have a bear encounter, and I had read so much and researched so thoroughly everything about black bears and grizzly bears and what to do if you encountered one and how to be safe and make noise while hiking, and we even had bear mace... So, not to ruin the end, but I was just a little disappointed that we did not see one bear on our entire trip. We saw bear tracks (grizzly and black) and bear scat, but no bear. It's probably for the better.

We sat around the campsite composing haikus:

the forest stands tall

as crashing wave by wave

the wild fills my veins

and

the price of alone

is cold and hard

but the beauty is worth more

Then it was time for bed- sundown is around 10 p.m., and we headed into our tent a little after. The first night was cozy. Listening to the song of the lodgepoles is pretty magical as well- the make this kind of moaning sound all the time because the ones that have fallen have landed on others and they are slowly sliding down and readjusting themselves.

Day 2 we slept super late (exhausted from the previous day). It had rained for about an hour in the early a.m., but we and all our belongings were dry and fine by mid day. As we were filtering water later that day, a Park Ranger came by to check our permit and reprimand us for having our food bag down while we were pumping water. Oops! First time we had actually left our bag down when we were not eating-- and certainly the last. That afternoon we went on a little 2 mile hike, and were able to appreciate more of the forest sans heavy packs. It is so incredible to be in that sort of immensity and know that so few other people are within miles and miles of you. We even saw a Golden Eagle. By the time we got back to camp, the mosquitoes had officially turned extreme. The wind had died down (no waves on the lake), and they were everywhere. We had to don our mosquito head nets at all times, and while eating, we had to pace back and forth quickly to try and stay one step ahead of the mosquitoes which were trying to devour our exposed faces. We were in the tent earlier than the previous night in an attempt to gain bug-free relaxation. That night we absolutely froze- the temp must have been much lower- it was hard to sleep for much of the night.

Day 3, we were up early to hang our bags and tent out to dry- some crazy condensation had soaked everything inside the tent. And the bugs were equally bad if not worse. Imagine having to relieve yourself in the woods which are FULL of mosquitoes. Bites, ahem, everywhere. Not pleasant. But, we hit the trail early, and they're not so bad when you're on the move. It was about 3 miles to 8R5. An easy trek, as we were now accustomed to our packs, etc. This site is very popular (so we were informed), and it's obvious why- it has an incredible lake view, and it's 1 mile from the geyser basin. So after pitching tent, eating, and raising our packs, we set off to explore. This is probably my favorite part of this area. It is something unlike anything you can imagine- or see many other places for that matter. It's a basin in the back country full of thermal features. As you approach it, you see steam rising from random places, and water gushing and bubbling and mud boiling and popping- and it's SO hot and smelly. Yet there are wildflowers growing along it, and a river running through, and a grassy marsh and lodgepoles surrounding it. It's crazy beautiful. You can see steaming features from the road, or hike around them from parking lots, but it was something else to be hiking around this area completely alone. It was absolutely magical. We went through the Basin loop, and then continued back through the hills and meadows to complete the entire 5 mile loop from North Shoshone Trail to Shoshone Lake Trail. We saw an otter sunning herself on a rock- a wild otter! I'd never seen one except in a zoo. She was beautiful! We also saw a Blue Heron, tons of Least Chipmunks, and some American White Pelicans. We also had to cross several creeks and streams, some rather precariously. Back at camp, it was an all out mosquito war, although we were able to eat dinner (though whether or not successfully so is still in question) and watch the sunset over the lake (so beautiful).

Day 4 we awoke to wet bags and tent again, and hung them up on the line. It took us about 3 hours to eat and get packed up (including pumping more water, etc). Today's hike was about twice the previous day's, to campsite 0A3, away from the lake, and following the Firehole River. The hike had us cross several creeks again (the most memorable being the one we had to cross about .1 miles after crossing the first, drying our feet, putting our shoes and socks back on, getting our gear straight, etc.). Today took us through more forest, much marsh land, up some hills, through some meadows, and through some pretty muddy swamp, even alongside several thermal features. Our campsite was super close to the trail, with not a lot of places for pitching a tent. It was marked by a bison skull. The mosquitoes here were even worse than anything before, and it was pretty intense. It was only this day that I had realized they had been biting me through my clothes, and I was now wearing about 4 layers, and it was HOT, and there was no shade and no place to get away from the swarms and swarms of bugs. It was beautiful, the meadow along the snaking river, with hotspots and wildflowers and marsh all around, but my patience with the bugs was really starting to wear out. We had pitched our tent on an area we thought was where most people pitched their tents (at the other sites, you could find the bare dirt tent-sized flat area about 200 yards from the bear pole and food areas). This site didn't have much possibility for pitching a tent that far from the bear pole (you'd either be in the muddy marsh, on the river bank, or in the thermal area), but we found what looked like the site people had been using. While erecting the tent, I heard an intense bubbling noise. Chip and I thought a feature must be nearby, and went searching. We couldn't hear the noise anymore, so thought it must have stopped (they do that). Later we were putting some stuff in the tent and I heard it again. Chip said, “I bet it's underneath our tent,” and I said, “There's no way we could have pitched our tent on top of a thermal feature.” Even later, when I heard it by our tent a third time, I started to think Chip could have been right. I lifted up the tent to find, yes, a steamy stink, and a soaking wet ground. We had pitched our tent over a thermal feature! Granted, you couldn't see anything but a flat area of dirt, but it must have been a boiling pit not too far below the surface. Crazy! So, of course, we moved our tent into the meadow, and as we were readjusting, I caught a glimpse of something moving across the marsh. It was alone gray wolf. So freaking beautiful and majestic and perfect. He just looked at us and continued on his way. He was about 40 feet away. I tried to grab a camera and get a shot, but he was heading away from us, and I only got a couple of blurry lumps. I felt incredibly privileged to have had the honor of being able to witness a wolf in the backcountry of Yellowstone (where they were completely eliminated just decades ago). Later that night (as we had not yet been able to stay awake until the stars came out), we were able to get a glimpse of the absolute immensity of the Yellowstone night sky. Talk about feeling small. Talk about beauty of infinite proportions. Talk about... not having words. Oh my. You need to hike into the Yellowstone wilderness and look at the stars (among other things).

Day 5 was bittersweet. I didn't want our adventure here to be over, yet I really really really wanted the mosquito situation to be over. At this point I had so many bites, in spite of nets, layers, and bug spray. My entire forehead was covered with bites, not to mention my hands, my arms, my waist, etc. Luckily 3 Mule Deer came to wish us happy trails, a young buck and 2 females. They are so beautiful, especially in the wild, drinking from the river in the meadow in the early hours of the morning. The hike out was much shorter (or easier) than expected, and we skirted around the Lone Star Geyser at the exact perfect time. We, along with another really lovely older couple, were able to see it errupt!! Something which happens once every three hours, so what are the odds! It was really phenomenal to watch the whole process, there are phases to its eruption, including the quiet steam phase, the water bubbling phase, etc. It gets 30 to 40 feet high. 3 miles from here is the Lone Star Trailhead, where we were scheduled to exit. This route was determined in a phone conversation with the backcountry office a couple weeks before the trip. The original route I wanted to take was impossible as the campsites were all reserved back in April, so he worked something out for me, and assured me that it'd be really easy to hitchhike the 6 miles back to the car upon exiting this trail. Luckily he was right. I've never really hitchhiked in my life, not with my thumb out for perfect strangers, so it was really fun. It only took us about 50 minutes to catch a ride in the back of a pick-up truck!! And we were back at the car. Oh it felt crazy to be back to “civilization” (if that's what you can call life inside YNP). We were stinky and filthy dirty and covered in bites, but we hit the road. We drove through some more of Yellowstone and down into Grand Teton NP.

The Tetons are gorgeous, huge, and snow covered. There are many lakes along the way and we saw ducks and swans as well. We stopped at several areas to catch the beauty, and even watched a huge storm roll in and over the park. We got poured upon near Jenny Lake, with hopes of stopping at a picnic area to grill some grub (yes, we were really tired of dehydrated meals) going up with the thunderheads. We had even considered grabbing a campsite in the Tetons for that night, but the rain, and the absolute stink of us convinced us that a motel room was the better choice. We lingered in the Tetons for the better part of the afternoon, drove through the Elk Refuge (where we saw no elk, but many swan). Then it was down through Idaho along 89 again. We passed through some cool looking towns and some really gorgeous landscape. We saw so much wildlife too, some sandhill cranes taking flight, several different hawks, and many other birds. We stopped in the Caribou National Forest (finally) for our dinner. We grilled out some corn on the cob, sweet peppers, and soy dogs, and it was the best meal... it felt good to be eating food that was not mushy and cooked with white gas. Full and content, we were back on the road and ended up driving all the way to Logan UT for a motel room, as all the motels in the city an hour and a half north of there, where we wanted to stop, were booked for the Cowboy Poetry Convention. You can rest assured that we left there heavy hearted because both of us would have liked nothing more than to attend a Cowboy Poetry Convention. How cool!

Anyway, the shower in Logan was the best shower EVER. The tub was black with filth by the time we were finished, and I felt like a million bucks with clean clothes, clean skin, clean fingernails, etc. We were starving by this point (again), and after a 15 minute conversation with Wok to Go, which consisted of repeating “No meat and No eggs” about 1000 times, we had ordered... something edible, we hoped... for dinner. We didn't know what we'd get or when we'd get it, but it turns out that an hour later we got some delicious veggies and rice which we devoured happily. Followed by a deep sleep.

Saturday was another day of driving. Destination: Bryce Canyon. The drive was pretty pleasant, and we arrived at Bryce mid-afternoon. A huge storm system followed us there, making the colors of the canyon that much more distinct. We checked on campsites, with some reluctance considering the clouds, and the fact that the only ones left were right on top of other people (yes, the backcountry spoiled us). Decided to wait on the sleeping arrangements, found a lovely place to cook out our lunch complete with Raven song, and then set off to see the canyon.

By the time we got to the top of the canyon, the rain had started, and a rainbow had formed overhead. So beautiful and shortly followed by an intense hail storm. It was pretty crazy. We were able to see the rest of the canyon and refill our water jugs before making a break for it (definitely no camping in that). We wound up that night in Mt. Carmel Junction, UT. And though it's a dry county, it's one of the cooler little places I've stopped. It's home to a kickass roadside cafe, started by a lady back in the day, complete with a sign that says “Ho-made pies” and a line of beers from a Moab brewery that have names such as “Polygamy Porter,” “Chasing Tail Amber Ale,” and “Evolution Amber.” Haha, welcome to Utah's antithesis. The cafe even had BOCA BURGERS to our utter delight. Dinner consisted of a Boca Burger with the toppings and some greasy diner fries. Oh yeah. And I even ordered a glass of the Outlaw Red wine. Yum! Our little cabin room was complete with Moose décor. The people were super nice and I discovered these amazing little books of quips and quotes written by an older Utah lady that had me cracking up. Great stay.

Sunday our destination was, sniff, home. I didn't want the trip to end, but we made Sunday count. On our way down through Page, via 89 again, we stopped for the short hike to Horseshoe Bend. Worth every step. Later we stopped at a Navajo arts and crafts store, and I got some awesome Navajo made earrings. Once we got south of Flagstaff, I was getting tired of driving. We kept on and on, and finally made it home. It felt crazy to see the desert again after so much scenery, and the heat was really intense. But, the desert is just as magical as all the other places I've seen, and I'm definitely lucky to live here. And while I wish I were still on vacation, it is good to be home. Chip and I had an absolute riot, and we hope to do it all again soon.

I'll leave you with a quip from Dorothy Gaylean (the one and the same who wrote the books I found in Mt. Carmel):

“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.” - R.L. Evens

So don't wait!!

on time that marches on

2010-06-24T16:55:00.000-07:00

Life seems incredibly persistent in its ever forward progression. Particularly so when one cannot find the time to stop and see that (though, thankfully, I now have that time). These past several months have been difficult, invigorating, eye-opening, productive, and beautiful (always that).

February brought a lovely little jaunt back to the hometown, where I actually had a couple hours to say hi to friends, and to be with family. Turns out they are all very interested in my journey into a vegan life, and they really enjoyed the food I had a chance to share with them.

(Vegan Chocolate Cake. I made it for some friends and family. See, vegan is delicious!)

(Meanwhile, back in Tucson, the wildflowers were going crazy thanks to the amazingly wet rainy season we had all winter. This is a shot from Picacho Peak State Park.)

Come March, it was off to the east coast for a week, my home away from home, for a much needed and thoroughly enjoyed vacation. Some of my favorite people in the world live in Western Mass, and now in Boston, so our time was divided between the two. I got to show Chip all my old haunts, and introduce him to my other loved ones.

(My favorite view of the Connecticut River, from atop Mt. Sugarloaf. We walked up. It was lovely.)

I finally got to meet James' sister Min, and introduce the whole family to Charles, and him to them. They went out of their way to cook us a delicious vegan Indian feast. James is so tall now, and still just as incredible, and we had a grand old time reminiscing about our days as knights who fought dragons and tricked evil wizards into letting us pass through treacherous lands unharmed.

I spent lots of good quality time with dear friends, and with Ashley, we even got to fly ourselves through Salem, witches that we are. We fell prey to a touristy wax museum, and found the most incredibly precariously arranged bookstore that must exist.

All in all, it was a soul filling, much needed week, and of course it reminded me of the beauty that is Western Mass in the spring.

April showers... well actually, here in Tucson the showers were ending.... But April in general brought a visit from Mr. Donner, which was also much needed, as he lives too far away. This visit consisted in large part of staying up way too late and waking up way too early to cavort around the Sonoran. Luckily, the wildflowers were still in bloom, and the snowmelt was still supplying the falls with adequate water for being beautiful. Thus, a hike out to Seven Falls and a day of swimming, getting too sunburned to get the tattoos we had designed, and then hiking back. We did manage to fit in a show at the Planetarium and a telescope viewing. I'd say it was a success-- as the desert did divulge certain of her secrets to certain pleading souls. (She tends to do that on asking).

(On the trail out to the falls)

May flowers. Don't happen here. By May, it hits 100 and the wildflowers are already gone. We brought in Beltane on the beach, however. Pelican Beach. San Diego. Much dancing, sun, and amazing food.

Later in May brought my brother's wedding, and a lovely trip back out to Nashville. The weather was gorgeous (oh how I miss the humidity). I can't believe my little brother is all grown up, but more importantly, I am so glad he is happy.

Here we are in June. Lindsay came out for a week. It was a lovely visit. We explored every corner of the desert, including her mountains. We went on a bird walk with Audubon guides- so perfect. We even trekked all the way to Seven falls, only to find that they were none. All dried up. We spent the weekend camping at Roper Lake, and even caught some fire performers at Sky Bar. I wish she lived closer. I loved having her here.

Now here we are about to head back out to SD for a weekend, and next month to finally make it to Yellowstone: the trip I've been dreaming of for two years. We will be backpacking around Shoshone Lake, and enjoying the company of mosquitoes and grizzly bears in the process. I seriously am more excited about this than anything else at the moment.

On the flipside of all the physical evidence of life's onward march, is the emotional and personal journey which lingers behind it. Over the course of these past months, I've decided to go back to school for Natural Health. I've been overwhelmed for a while with work and future prospects, and have been trying to figure out where I'm supposed to be going. I finally feel certain- I want to be a healer. I want to interact with others on a positive level. I want to help others find health- whole body health- using their own bodies as medicine. So I will be starting a program in the next few months that focuses on holistic nutrition, herbalism, and natural health. I'm really excited about this new leg of life's adventure, but it also meant saying goodbye to other things I love. Goodbyes are always bitter sweet. And every new beginning comes with some other beginning's end.

It must be in the stars... many of my friends and family are welcoming their own new beginnings now. Heading down new paths of mindfulness, whole body healing, and embracing a manner of living which heals the earth and upholds her sacred bounty. I hope that all of you who read this will consider embracing some change that has been lingering on your own horizon- a leap of faith in order to take life in a more positive and uplifting direction.
Namaste.

on being a conscious being

2010-02-17T17:21:00.000-08:00

Well, it has been (yet again) months since my last post. An irregular internet connection and a beyond hectic schedule are good excuses, but only I am to blame.

While I have certainly continued to have many adventures in the physical world- all wonderful, exciting, and revitalizing, and which include road trips to vineyards in Sonoita, to Lake Havasu City (both with much hiking and revelry) and a last minute flight to embrace a billion new members of my family- my most incredible and blogworthy adventures have been those occurring in my mind/heart/soul.

A couple years ago (actually almost exactly when I met Charles), I turned from being an "occasional" meat-eater, to being a vegetarian/ opportunitarian (meaning if meat was all the food that was offered, I would accept it over not eating). This transition was really easy for me, because I didn't eat meat very often anyway. The only thing I missed was bacon, but after a couple months, I never thought about it anymore.

I still ate dairy and eggs, though. This past summer, though, I was have some major skin/complexion issues, and when over-the-counter meds only exacerbated the problems, I was pretty upset. So I started reading up on alternative cures. This led me to start paying attention to what I was putting into my body. I've always been supportive of natural healing techniques like energy work and spirit journeys, meditation, physical things like dance, etc.

But I think I was oblivious to 65% of what these things really mean. Or at least I chose to ignore the underlying implications because, let's admit it, eating and living healthy seems expensive- especially if you have to choose between the ramen noodles or organic produce. And for a college student, and even post-graduation as I wandered around the country, I was on a very fixed income. Long story short, I ate the cheapest stuff because it's all I could afford (so I thought). I spent my money on going out to the dance clubs, dance lessons, and road trips. Food was low priority.

So my research this summer was a wake-up call. We had already been buying all of our produce at the farmer's market, and it was organic. It was also the cheapest way to buy produce. So that was already great. But as for the dairy and eggs- eggs I had always bought "cage-free" but as it turns out that means absolutely nothing. Same goes for "farm fresh" and "free-range." These claims do not have to be certified or backed by fact, and the chickens laying these eggs more than likely lead miserable lives. And as far as dairy goes- milk, butter, yogurt, ice cream, sour cream, cream cheese- I knew it was being pumped full of hormones and antibiotics, but I wasn't aware of the effects these things could have on my body. I came across a lot of research suggesting that these things could easily cause skin irritations and breakouts when regularly consumed.

So I switched to all organic diary and organic eggs (which actually are certified and the most humane way to buy eggs). Life went on.

Then, just last week, I was talking to a friend who told me that her mom just began a vegan diet because of health issues. I had tried veganism for about 3 days, and then given up. But that conversation re-sparked my interest. So I logged on to my library account and reserved a copy of almost every book about veganism in the system. If you don't know- being vegan means that you choose not to consume any animal-based products- meat, eggs, milk, yogurt, butter, cheese, gelatin, honey, etc.

I've already read 2 of them, and I'm using all the cookbooks daily. I really feel like I have been cheated out of information my whole life. I urge you to research for yourself what's really behind the ideals and diets of vegans. There is no reason in the world why everyone could not support a vegan lifestyle- and be happier, healthier, and more full of life and love than ever. Not only does this way of life have UNBELIEVABLE health benefits (i.e. the complete reversal of heart disease) but it also supports compassion for all living beings (and being alive ourselves, it only makes sense). I won't go into the horrid cruelty that occurs just so you can have cow's milk on your cereal in the morning, or eggs in your cake, but you should look into it. You really do get back what you put out there. Plus, 100% of the vitamins, minerals, nutrients, proteins, and carbs that your body needs are available from plants.

Also, it's 100% affordable, even more so than the average meat-eaters diet.

I don't want to sound preachy, because I will love you no matter what you eat (or don't eat for that matter), but I am so excited by what I am learning that I just want everyone to share it with me. I urge you to pick up a book from the library- or even surf the web.

I've completely cleaned out my shelves and fridge of everything containing animal-based products, and I've been creating some delicious cuisine every day- fig-anise almond cookies, chocolate raspberry cookies, mushroom barley stew, biscuits, rye bread, potato casserole, raw veggie burritos, asian pepper tofu over quinoa, zucchini bread, cranberry muffins, and the list goes on. You'd be surprised how little you have to give up. And how great you'll feel. (Recipes to be posted soon to my other blog).

It can't hurt to read about it... :) And if you come visit me, I'll make you some delicious eats. I promise.

Now here are some books I've been reading:

Vegan: The New Ethics of Eating
by Erik Marcus

Becoming Vegan: The Complete Guide to Adopting a Healthy Plant-Based Diet
by Brenda Davis and Besanto Melina

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Vegan Living

And this great cookbook:

How it All Vegan
By Tanya Barnard and Sarah Kramer

Yeah, so don't just take my word for it. Read up. Talk to people. Think outside the box for a minute.

I really feel good about this decision, and I think it will help me make other big decisions that need to be made in my life soon- like when and where to move (yes, move)? And what do I want to be when I grow up? I still don't know that one. But now I have a solid healthy foundation that will give me more drive and energy for the rest of life. And now I'll get off my soapbox. I love you all and hope you are doing well.

on life and love

2009-11-29T12:16:00.000-08:00

Since I've last updated, many things (of course) have happened. The best of which was our wedding on September 19. Most of our close friends and family where able to come out to Tucson to celebrate with us. We rented and amazing hacienda in the desert, and enjoyed being near our loved ones for 5 days. It was beautiful and perfect in every way.

In early October, Gavin turned 2. I had been working on a scrapbook for him for the past 6 months, of 2009. I finally got to give it to him, and his face lit up. He reads it every day. I can't believe he's already 2, and that I've been lucky enough to watch him and help him grow up. He is a beautiful person.

In mid October, we went back to Chesterton to visit Charles' family. I got to meet everyone who couldn't make it to the wedding. I gained 15 amazing nieces and nephews. :) And even more extended family. It was really nice to see where he grew up and meet all the people who made him who he is today.

In late October, we took part in Tucson's All Soul's Procession like we did last year. It was equally beautiful, and a much needed time of reflection on mortality, love, family, and those who have passed. If you're curious about what it actually is, check out www.allsoulsprocession.org.

We also spent a day at the farm, picking pumpkins from the patch, and eyeing the animals. I've made pumpkin pies, pumpkin breads, pumpkin seeds, and we carved jack o lanterns. I love pumpkin. And autumn.

In mid- November, we took a much needed road trip to San Diego. We always love that place. This time we met Xta and her man in the mountains about 40 miles east of SD for a freezing cold camping adventure. We were joined by their awesome dog Rusty, who is part border collie, so I love being near him because I feel like Streak is with me. Camping was beautiful and freezing cold. We had awesome chili for dinner, and a warm fire. The next morning we went on a breathtakingly gorgeous hike. We were out for most of the day. Before leaving the next day, we made it to the beach, and I got to say hi to the ocean. I do love her so. Hopefully next time we go to SD, we can spend more than 3 days there.

This past week, Thanksgiving, was nice. Although I wish I could have gone home (crazy expensive tickets), it was nice to be here with Charles. We cooked so much food and absolutely enjoyed preparing it together. I even made my first ever apple pie- from scratch! It was perfect and so delicious. We invited our Japanese friends over for the meal, and they'd never had many of the dishes we made, so they were thrilled. They brought some Japanese fare as well, which was the perfect touch. My favorite was the apple jell-o type dish... only no gelatin was used. It's made from powdered seaweed and apple juice. So yummy.

Otherwise, I've been super crafty lately with any spare time I can find, so I'm going to start a new blog for all the things I make. You'll be able to find it by going to my profile, and clicking the link.

Much love from the vast expanse of world I inhabit.

on performing in Pittsburgh

2009-08-25T18:02:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was the event I had been dedicating all of my time, energy, and money to preparing for during the past several months. Christa and I (Saguaro Belly Co) were invited to perform at Electrobelly (an electronic dance show) in Pittsburgh, and we decided to go for it. Even though we live 6 hours apart, we love dancing with each other so much (we are dance soul mates) that we couldn't resist. So after hours and hours of driving to see each other, thousands of miles on our cars, tons of gas and hotel money, and even more time than we actually had taken up with sewing, planning, dancing, and more dancing, we finally were able to make it worth our while. (A not so on the side MAJOR thanks to our wicked awesome understanding boyfriends.)

We both departed from our respective cities on Friday pre-noon. We arrived in Houston within an hour of one another--- and in the same hour as the weather turned sour. Our flight was supposed to depart at 6 something, but all flights in the area were grounded until further notice. They kept pushing our flight back by 15 or 30 minute increments. But at least we were together because I swear that was the most fun I've ever had in an airport. We attempted a little airport barhopping, but after one $12 glass of wine, we settled in our corner, listened to some tunes, did our nails, did some discreet practicing, etc. The flight finally left after 9.

Needless to say, we arrived in Pittsburgh around 1:30 a.m. Saturday (the day of our show). Wonderful Amythest and her beau met us at the airport and drove us back to her place. We stayed up several more hours talking and eating the most delicious vegan pizza I've ever had.

After sleeping about 5 hours, we were up and rehearsing. Nailing out some kinks, stretching, getting our costumes ready, etc. We were at teh venue by 3. Unfortunately the venu failed to provide certain things (such as a big enough dressing room- or even a light in the room). But we managed to improvise. After breaking for a while for a walk along the strip, where there was a sort of street market going on, some chai, and some fresh air, we returned to begin the long process of getting ready.

I have to say that I've never met so many genuine people at a dance performance ever. Usually the dance scene is full of people with attitude problems, narcissism, and a general distaste for being nice, friendly, helpful, or supportive. That's why I don't much care to get involved with lots of dance troupes and/or teachers. I dance for my love of dance, and to SHARE that with others. Most of the dancers I meet dance to prove that they are BETTER dancers than everyone else who dances. This is why I love dancing with Christa so much. We dance for the same reasons, we LOVE it. And we want everyone to love it. And we want everyone to dance. So when I say that the dancers I met in Pittsburgh were unbelievable, I really mean it. Every single one of them was SO nice, so beautiful, so supportive, so positive, and such a good and unique dancer. I could clearly see that they shared my love of dance, and my desire to share and learn from other people on some fundamental level. There were no attitudes and no negativity. I wasn't nervous at all because there were so many positive vibes cradling every one the second they hit the stage. Wow. I really loved that.

So, the dance aspect of the show went really well. We had a blast, rocked out, made friends, and the crowd seemed to love it as well. There were some other technical issues of the show, such as the venue issues, and compensation issues that didn't work out how I'd hoped, but over all it was worth it. Caution Crew- a breathtaking breakdance troupe performed in the final act. It was pretty kickass. Overall there were about 16 bellydancers as well. We got so many complements on our performance and on our costumes. It was amazing.

Hopefully I'll get copies of some photos soon so I can post them. As far as the video, I'm not allowed to post it, so if you want to see it, you'll just have to come visit me!!!!!!

After the show, we went straight to the afterparty, from which I had to leave straight for the airport to catch my 6 a.m. flight home. Needless to say I was beyond tired. Actually, I've yet to catch up. I made it home fine, and slept a lot of Sunday afternoon. Anyway, I'm glad that's over. There are a thousand other things demanding my attention now.

My job just moved way way way far away, which is hard to adjust to. Also, we've been getting a little more serious about the wedding planning. Just ordered some Bambu plates. They're awesome- google them.

That's all for now, though.

Mad love.

on 7 months of catching up (continued)

2009-08-16T15:58:00.000-07:00

.....

June: camping, wedding invitations, bridal shower, anniversary, meeting Charles' mom

During the first part of June, we got in our last camping trip before the oh-so-much-too-hot summer. We met some friends up on Mt. Lemmon, and had an AMAZING and relaxing weekend of birdwatching, hiking, roasting marshmallows, and eating corn on the cob and baked potatoes. I could live like that. The best part, though, was how Charles chopped our firewood. We hadn't brought an axe or a machete, so he picked up a tree and beat it against a rock over and over until we had a bundle of perfect firewood. Talk about a woodsman. haha.

Em also threw me my first bridal shower, consisting of her wonderful neighbor ladies. They were all full of advice and life experience, and I really enjoyed hearing what they had to say- and the stories that had to tell cannot be repeated on here. It was so funny.

Charles and I also realized that we'd been together for a whole year. We're not so big on dates and celebrations, but it's pretty cool that one year had passed and we were still as happy and amazed by each other as ever. Also, it felt like much longer than that.

I finally got to meet Sharon, Charles' mom. She came out to visit us in Tucson for 4 or 5 days. I had no idea what to expect because everyone tells me horror stories about mothers-in-law. Turns out she is super amazing, and we had a great time. She is one hell of a lady. I couldn't ask for a better mother-in-law. She told me the story of her life, stories about Charles and his siblings, and it was so interesting seeing how he and his mom are alike in mannerisms, expressions, and even thoughts sometimes. We took her down to Tubac, this cool artsy town, and also to Tumacacori, which are the ruins of a Spanish mission, and also a museum explaining the entire history of the native tribes and the conquerers. It was so informative, and sad. Later we went to play bingo with her (her favorite pastime). I'd never played bingo other than in school, so I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Turns out, it's really fun and addicting. Anyway, I'm so glad I got to meet and spend time with Sharon. It was wonderful. She also sent me a cookbook, that I'm now obsessed with. I've already made so many things from it!

Finally by the end of June, Charles and I managed to make all of our wedding invites. We did it all ourselves- bought cardstock and envelopes in bulk at Michael's, velum paper from Office Depot, printed photographs at costco, bought brads, and assembled them all one weekend. He worked just as hard as I did making them, and they turned out perfectly. Whew. If only people had RSVP'd with such dedication....

July: monsoons, dance, costuming, tea ceremony, meeting Charles' brother and sister-in-law, and Minnesota

Monsoon season hasn't been quite as wet or intense this year as it was last year. At least, though, there've been a couple really good downpours/thunderstorms/ lightning shows. Oh, and a TON of rainbows. The sky is always changing this time of year, and every sunset is breathtaking.

I had to weeks of unpaid :( vacation from work because they were out of town. I put the time to good use however, dancing, sewing, scrapbooking, cooking, and I even got to take part in a traditional Japanese tea ceremony. Satomi's friend Yuki came to visit from Japan, and she studies the tea ceremony (as well as calligraphy). She invited me to take part, and it was so beautiful. I love the Japanese lifestyle, and feel so fortunate to be able to learn so much about it first hand. They also fed me some amazing food. Then, Yuki showed me how to prepare the tea, and let me serve her. She even had me try on her kimono. I loved it. I can't wait to visit Japan.

Come July, Christa and I decided to accept the invitation to dance in a huge bellydance show in Pittsburgh happening August 22. Since she lives in SD, and I'm 6 hours away, this decision meant a lot of hard work. We are both incredibly excited, though. We've dubbed ourselves Saguaro Belly Co, and we've been working hard on choreographing and costuming. We met half way between us one weekend and spent 2 days dancing in a hotel room, moving the bed up against the wall to make more room. We even did a performance in San Diego on her birthday weekend as sort of a test run for our dances. The videos are all on youtube under Saguaro Belly Co. It's been so much fun and so much work, and now the show is next weekend. I'm ready.

When we were in San Diego that weekend, I had one of the more traumatic events of my life (no, not ripping my toe nail off my big toe during the performance). We were on this party boat-- it just goes back and forth between bays all night, there's a bar, a dance floor, and a deck on top... people can get on or off anytime. We were on there for Xta's birthday, and Charles and I were on the top deck- when we heard some commotion. A group of friends was waving to two guys swimming in the bay- guys who had just jumped from the third story of the boat. We walked over to where they were, watching the guys swim to shore. Then a third guy got up on the rail right in front of us--- literally we were 2 feet behind him--- intending to jump in and swim after his friends. His girlfriend was there and all his friends where cheering him on. He took of his shirt, emptied his pockets, and in he went, to the cheers of his friends--- he did a sort of flip into the water... and we were all looking over the edge to see him swim away. Only-- we never saw him surface. Everyone just stared, expecting him to come up any minute, and then his girlfriend ran down to tell the captain- or whoever was on the boat. The boat was still moving, and figures could be seen swimming in the distance. No alarms were sounded; I saw no life preservers being thrown out, no sign of an emergency.... We got off the boat at the next stop, and the boat people told everyone that all 3 jumpers had made it to shore and been arrested immediately. So, I thought no more of it. About 30 minutes later, though, we were walking down the street and a car pulled up-- I recognized the girl in the passenger seat as the girlfriend- the driver was asking if we'd seen anyone come out of the ocean.. (wtf?!?!?!?). I walked over and asked if he was talking about the guy who jumped. Yes, he said. I informed him that they'd been arrested. No, he said, I was one of the guys who jumped first, and our buddy never came to shore. We don't know where he is. At this point, these people are drunk, and driving around, instead of calling for help or something. So I told them to go back to the boat and call the coast guard or the police. They didn't even know how to get back, so I pointed them. It was so freaky. The next day we saw copters all over the bay, and later on the news learned that they had recovered the guy's body 20 yards from shore in 15 feet of water. We think that's the exact spot where he jumped. This is SOOOOO sad because the guy was drunk- as were his friends- and they thought it'd be fun. Who knew. And I literally watched him take his last breath. I can't believe he actually died, may his soul rest in peace. He was only 28. I feel for his friends and especially his girlfriend. I could think of nothing else for a week after this happened- I was so traumatized. I know everyone dies, but to be that close is crazy. I've accepted it now, and I just hope his friends and family can find the support they need to cope with this.

On a lighter note...

During the 2nd week of my time off, Greg and Marleny (Charles' brother and sister-in-law) visited Tucson. I'm so glad I got to meet more of his family. We were so busy that week I can't even remember what we did: Tombstone, Titan Missile Museum, Pima Air and Space Museum, Sonoran Desert Museum, Sabino Canyon, lots of eating, and not much sleeping. It was a really fun week.

The next week I left for Minnesota for work. It was very cold. I mean way too cold for July. Pretty. But cold. Did I mention that it was cold? I think I'm spoiled. Anyway, the highlights involved talking to an amazing energy healer, seeing her in action on Em's preggo sister, and eating some delicious dinners. G was a champ on the plane ride home, no crying at all, and he was on my lap the whole time!! He's really growing up.

August: dancing, sewing, cooking, and dabbling in essential oils

So I've finally come to the present. Last weekend Xta came to Tucson (since we had been there the previous weekend). We danced and ate and swam and sewed.
And every spare moment of mine has been dedicated to finishing and practicing dances, finishing costuming, and cooking from my adored recipe book whenever I have enough time. Today I made the most amazing pumpkin bars, which I will post on my other blog later.
Also, I began experimenting with making my own skincare treatments using essential oils. I'd really like to use homemade things for my body, as I'm getting farther and farther away from chemicals and whatnot in everyday use. I've found tons of recipes for things like face wash, lotions, toners, etc. Also, essential oils can be used as pain relievers, energy boosters, and all sorts of other remedies.
Also, I'm trying to go more and more green. I already use cloth shopping bags, but I was getting so irritated by those plastic produce bags that are even at the farmers' markets. I found these organic cotton reusable ones on www.reusablebags.com. I'm also planning on purchasing the reusable towels to get away from paper towels. Anyway, I won't be too preachy, but every little bit helps.

Okay, so that's all for now, folks. I'll try to be more current with this. For all of you who are far away, I miss you. Enjoy your week!

on 7 months of catching up

2009-08-16T14:49:00.000-07:00

Hello wonderful readers. I have to begin by apologizing for failing to post anything for 7 months. Life has been busy and beautiful and stressful (though I'm trying to eradicate all signs of this feeling). I'm not even sure where to begin.

February: Charles' birthday, Isabella was born, Arizona Renaissance Festival

Baby Isabella was born February 18, and the 15 month old G did not really know how to take it. Those first few months were INSANE as he dealt with jealousy and regression, and 3 adults could barely handle the colicky newborn.

At least I was able to have my weekends. :) We went to the Ren Fest up in Mesa which was incredibly fun. We brought some of our Japanese friends who had never heard of such a thing. We even lent them costumes. I, of course, sewed my own costume, and was very pleased. While there, we were able to see some great dancers, shows, and sword swallowers, and eat some delicious food. I really love Renaissance Festivals. I hope to get a gig dancing next year.

March: beginning to officially plan our wedding, hiking, still learning how to take care of a newborn and a toddler, trying on wedding dresses, etc.

March brought some decisions about our wedding. We finally decided what kind of ceremony we wanted, when we wanted it, how big we wanted it, and what kind of venue we wanted. It took a lot of consideration, but we finally decided on a smallish ceremony outdoors here in the beautiful desert September 19. We even managed to make our own really awesome Save the Dates. We used a photo I had taken of some cardinals in a mesquite tree. We got them printed at CVS, where the woman in the photo lab gave us a super awesome deal (and helped a lot too). Props to her, wherever she may be.

We also managed to save some time for hiking in Ventana Canyon which is just another of the beautiful areas in which to explore the Sonoran. We were able to identify tons of plants and flowers in our field guide.

When I started thinking about wedding dresses, I never imagined a traditional dress for myself. However, Em and Satomi insisted that I try some on, and I wanted to get ideas anyway, so they took me to David's Bridal. I tried on 5 or 6 dresses, my favorite of which had a $12,000 tag. Haha. It was a total Cinderella gown, and I wouldn't have worn it anyway. BUT, the experience was pretty funny, and I got some good ideas of what NOT to wear. (I ended up making my own dress, of course, and it is much more me than any store bought dress could ever be.)

April: tons and tons of hiking, a visit home to TN, more wedding planning, and more taking care of the kids, and a visit from the lovely Xta

One of my favorite hiking experiences happened one weekend in April. We wanted to explore Saguaro Park East because we were looking at renting a house right near there for the wedding (which we did and will be perfect). The Rincon Mountains are so different from the Catalinas or the Tucsons, and the feeling eminating from that place is very special. We had hiked a short way up the Douglas Springs trail, but we decided to go even farther. We heard of a backcountry campground a ways in, and wanted to check it out. We thought it was 3ish miles up the trail, so we set out around 7 in the morning planning on a 6 mile trip. We also knew there was supposed to be water at the top, so planned on refilling our camelbacks once there. Well, the hike was amazing, and as you topped the ridges, and went into the mountains, the landscape became more savannah, with rolling fields of tall grasses, amazing flowers, more trees, and still more breathtaking views. We were passing all the right mile markers, but when we made it 4 miles in, we saw the post informing us that the campground was still 2 miles away. No problem, we thought. Well, it wasn't an easy 2 miles, and by this point it is already noon, and we have been using water as if we could refill by now. We kept going and every one we passed would tell us it was just around the bend. Haha. When we finally got there, an hour or two later, there was no water at all. And now we had 6 miles to hike back to the trail head. Needless to say by the end of that hike all I could think about was water. I didn't even notice my surroundings for that last mile, I was just dreaming about water and ice and more water. It's amazing what the body will do when it has no water. We were zombies. So, that experience taught us some valuable lessons: we now tote more water than we think we need and never rely on filling up on the trail. Also, we bought trail maps for every area in Tucson in order to verify destinations before we begin. In spite of any mishaps, I loved that trip, and I felt great the next day.

We did a couple more hikes that month. We even got to hike around Radnor Lake when we went back to Nashville for a weekend. That was amazing- how green and lush and wet everything seemed compared to life here in the desert. I think I saw almost everyone I know in Nashville during that weekend. Charles did too. Since he lived in Tennessee for 8 years, he has just as many friends as I do there (even though I grew up there). It worked out great because he got to visit with his friends while I visited with mine. Tons of friends and lots of family stopped by my mom's house to say hi and share good food and drink, and it was a general good time all around. I really love the Tennessee landscape- it seems I took it for granted when I actually lived there. Now, having experienced so many varied climates and lands, I can appreciate them all with more understanding.

Later on in April, Xta and J came out from San Diego, which is always a riot. We went out dancing one night- a total trip. The next night, we camped in Catalina State Park, and even did a beautiful sunset hike- where I took the photo that later wound up as our wedding invitation.

May: Mt. Lemmon, Chicago, Atlanta, wedding dress, apartment hunting

The month of May means it's getting hotter and hotter in Tucson, so a weekend escape to Summerhaven- at the top of Mt. Lemmon is just what the doctor orders. We took our friends for a cookout at about 20 degrees cooler than Tucson (but only half an hour away). It was lovely. The views are incredible as well.

We also began apartment hunting because my lease was up where I was living. We looked at what seemed like every apartment complex in Tucson, and just a couple weeks before having to move found the perfect place. It's in the Catalina Foothills, has a huge balcony with a mountain view, vaulted ceilings, free electricity, and is wicked cheap!!! We are very happy here.

I traveled to Chicago for four days with work, and realize that kids in a big city is really really really difficult. G spent most of the time covering his ears because it was so loud, and they both woke up at every siren. Also, we spent lots of time carrying the stroller up and down stairs because it's not a very stroller friendly city. I think Chicago is cool, and I've been there before, but I'm just really not a city girl. I get sort of claustrophobic. Anyway, the trip had it's fun moments, and Em's family is super super super amazing, so I'm always glad to get to spend time with them. Needless to say, I was exhausted and actually got sick for a week after returning. Oh yeah, and this was right when the swine flu craze was all over the press, so we were freaks about the Lysol on the airplane.

I also finished sewing my wedding dress. It's more like a sundress, actually, and I'm very happy with it. I will not post pics until after September 19 ;)

Finally, my dearest friend Ashley flew me out to Atlanta for Memorial Day weekend. I got to see my lovely Xandra, and introduce these two dear ladies to one another. We went dancing, out for Indian food, got pedicures, went to the natural history museum, went to a puppet show, a puppet museum, made puppets, made food, and had a general amazing time.

I will continue June- the present in my next entry......

on more of the southwest

2009-01-27T09:59:00.000-08:00

This weekend, Charles and I took a much needed road trip with barely a plan. I had read about White Sands National Monument in the field guide my brother gave me for my birthday, and the pictures I'd googled were breathtaking. So, our only goal for the weekend was to see it for ourselves. We ended up seeing a lot more.

We set out Friday night after work, and drove through an amazing double rainbow (I've seen more rainbows in the year I've been in Tucson than in the rest of my entire life). It was rather unusual, actually, the rain storm that had persisted for 2 or 3 days- a droning drizzle, in fact. But these vibrant, full arc, rainbows were so magical... and so unable to be captured on camera. Anyway, we drove east through the rain and saw some of the lovely landscape before sunset. Right around Deming, NM, we decided to stop. We were just over an hour from White Sands. We found a wicked cheap hotel, and watched TV for the first time since... wow I have no idea.

The sun was out the next morning, though it was a little chilly. Driving through Las Cruces and into White Sands the fog was curling around the mountains, and hovering above the towns. It reminded me of the T.S. Eliot line from 'Prufrock,' when he describes the fog as curling once about the house and falling asleep. Like a cat.

The landscape throughout the Southwest U.S. is ALL like that- some beautiful line from a poem. It is so vast and visible. You can see where the mountains begin to rise from the flats. You can see their every wrinkle and ripple and shadow. I don't think I could live anywhere else without feeling claustrophobic.

So we got to White Sands and it was better than all those pictures. We drove through, hiked a bit, and played on the dunes. There were lots of people sledding down, but it didn't look fast enough to be fun. I made a sand angel, though. The sand there is so white because it is made of gypsum unlike most other sand. It is actually the world's largest area of gypsum dunes, taking up 275 square miles! This area is adjacent to the White Sands missile range which is used for testing. There are actually several ranges in the vicinity because it's so large and flat, with a good climate, and far enough from civilization.

In addition to missile testing, New Mexico has a rich history in space. After leaving the dunes, we headed up to the New Mexico Museum of History: a low budget but definitely interesting place with a killer view. From 50 miles away, you can see a white layer on the horizon, that in sunlight resembles a fog layer, but is actually White Sands. It's unlike anything I've ever seen.

After the museum we took a scenic detour into Texas, along Hwy 54. These little highways that cut through the middle of nowhere are my absolute favorite! We skirted through just north of El Paso into the Franklin Mountains, along this gorgeous mountain pass. We then took more little highways back to New Mexico, and began the return westward.

Saturday night we spent in Lordsburg, which is home of this neat little ghost town called Shakespeare that we toured on a previous trip.

Sunday we headed back into Arizona and down to Katchner Caverns, near Benson. This took us through the San Pedro River Valley, where we decided we want to move. It is far from populated, and if you wonder where the phrase, "purple mountains majesty" came from, this is the answer.

The caverns are very new as far as caves are concerned as they were just discovered in 1974. They are very wet as well. No photography was allowed on our hour and a half tour, but it was certainly beautiful (how many times can I say beautiful in one blog?). Picknicking in the sunny scape of the state park surrounding the caves, we got ready to head back to Tucson and daily life.

These little trips are what keeps me sane. The vast expanses of the desert are sweetness to my soul.

on the border

2009-01-17T07:49:00.000-08:00

Buenos dias mis amigos!! I know it's been a minute since my last entry, but things have been wicked busy, and then my computer was defeated by the Greeks (a trojan horse virus). I have stories to tell and pictures to post, though!

The end of December (my birthday and Jesus') found me in margarita-ville... err, I mean Puerto Peñasco. Though the two are similar.

Puerto Peñasco is also known as Rocky Point (by English speakers), a mistranslation of course. It's a fishing town in Sonora, Mexico, located on the Sea of Cortés. It is about 2 hours from the Arizona/ Mexico border (Lukeville/ Sonoyta). Though the town is (obviously) full of marine life, the state itself is named after the same desert in which Tucson lies: the Sonoran. I recently realized that the word "sonora" means "resounding" (duh! just like the english word sonorous). But isn't that the most beautiful concept ever?? I live in the resounding desert! And that it is, folks. That it is.

But, back to the ocean. My mom flew into Tucson so that we (she, I, and Charles) could head down into Mexico for the festivities. We actually took a shuttle so that I wouldn't have to drive (plus I didn't really care to deal with getting Mexican car insurance or deciding whether or not to believe all the rumors about border violence). Mom was super excited about crossing the border, and even got her new passport stamped (though it wasn't neccessary). The landscape was pretty much exactly what I expected. Not dissimilar, naturally, from what I see everyday, though organ pipe cacti start to show up in abundance that far south. The border city did seem as shady as its reputation, but not so for the towns past the border.

We arrived at our hotel around 5 or 6 p.m., and were greeted by the most incredible scarlet and gold sunset ever, right off our balcony. Oh, the ocean! After taking pictures and soaking it in for a while, we went in search of our first authentic Mexican meal. Well, the food was authentic but the restaurant looked like the Mexican version of Cracker Barrel. Maybe decorated as such to make us tourists feel at home. Anyway, the chiles rellenos and the Mexican shrimp cocktail (very different from the American one) and the free birthday drink (yay me!) were the highlights of that dinner. We even made friends with Luis, our server, who gave us some good tips.

The next day we set out to explore the Malecon, which is in the center of town, where all the trashy tourist souvenirs and the delicious seafood are sold. Also, it's full of many delicious restaurants. I'm not going to give you a day to day or minute by minute account, but there are certainly some highlights.

For starters, the food. Bueno!! Me gusto!!! I thought it would be tricky for 3 vegetarians to eat like royalty in Mexico (home of the taco and the burrito- burro meaning donkey, yes), but it was easy. Enchiladas, chiles rellenos, quesidillas, chips and salsa, arroz y frijoles, huevos y frijoles, etc. And most of the restaurants had these AMAZING views of the ocean, one was actually on stilts OVER the ocean, and another atop a hill overlooking the entire town. Not to mention how reasonably priced everything was. At one restaurant, a mariachi band offered to play as we watched the sunset. Of course I accepted. I ADORE mariachi bands. I want one to play at my wedding. I was accustomed to the mariachi bands in Tucson, where you just tip them a couple bucks for a song. So the band plays, and silly me, I ask for another- Uno mas? Romantica?!? So they play again, and it's beautiful. I give them the tip. THey count the money and then inform me that it is five dollars per song. WHAT! FIVE DOLLARS? I am shocked and outraged and feel incredibly taken advantage of. It wasn't THAT GOOD. But, alas, I pay up, and feel that the evening is ruined. Never again will I let a mariachi band in a tourist town serenade me at sunset.

Also, walking was very doable, as everything was relatively close. We were the only tourists walking, it seemed, but cabs were cheap when we needed them. Actually, we were the only tourists in the whole town for the first three or four days. It was deserted (Christmas is not busy season down there).

My favorite place was the 'Mud Mall' or 'Shacks Fifth Avenue.' Okay, so we should have taken a cab here, and the walk there was not my favorite. Imagine a little town in Mexico where tourism is the major industry besides shrimp. So of course there is 'tourist area' where everyone works and naive Americans pay 38 dollars for everything because it's such a 'special price' for them. Well so of course then there's a 'non-tourist' area where everyone lives and shops and doesn't have to speak English. Okay so we walk ten miles through this part of town. Obviously we are American. But I try to be discreet. Mind my business. I try not to be annoying or loud or draw too much attention to us. This is how I am through the whole trip- I just want to try my best to respect culture- language- etc. However, I ended up pissed off, and later in stitches many times when my wonderful mom would decide to wear hot pink velour jump suits, wear her hair in high ponytails, do lunges in the streets, point, make a huge scene when she stepped in dog poop, refused to speak Spanish, etc, etc. While it was happening, we would be getting dirty looks, and I would be raving- why couldn't she just act like a normal person? Then later I would find myself in hysterics thinking about it. Oh my mom is SUCH a character!! She doesn't care what other people think about her!!! If she wants to prance into a spanish speaking farmacia in bright white sneakers, and some crazy outfit, and refuse to say 'gracias' instead of 'thank you,' then by golly she will. And I love her for it. It was hilarious walking ten miles through town to the mud mall with all eyes on us. I might as well give up trying to blend in. Of course I don't want to get knifed either, but helas. So anyway, the mud mall is this dirt street lined with shops. The goods are way more interesting than what's being sold in the Malecon. They are unique, hand-crafted, and the people are more likely to let you haggle a GREAT price. Of course I bought jewelry. Mom and I got good at negotiating. We used these well learned skills to haggle later on at teh Malecon.

At one point I had one man laughing so hard at me because he didn't expect a little white girl to be such a stickler. He wanted 48 dollars for a blanket. I said 20. He said, '(Gasp) Mi Amiga, noooooo.' How could I insult his goods so? 40, he says. 20, I say. 40, he says. I start to walk away. 35, amiga!! 20, head over the shoulders. 30, he retorts!! No, gracias, says me. He grabs my arm, laughs aloud, amiga, amiga, ok!!! 20!! He pats my arm and wishes me Feliz Navidad and Bueno Ano Nuevo about five million times and he can't stop patting my arm... "amiga, amiga... hahaha." He didn't expect it, but it was awesome. That blanket went to my brother. :D

Anywho, being tourists in this town means you get harrassed a lot. Every person you pass has something to sell you. And if you don't want that, well they've got something else. Jewelry? Necklace? Bracelet? No gracias. Sunglasses? Blanket? Pottery? No gracias. Turtle? No gracias. Rent a horse? No gracias. Marijauna, cocaine? No gracias. Mexican massage? No gracias. I'll keep you warm. I'll be your honey? (this offered to mi madre) No, gracias!!!! So you get used to saying no.

We made friends with a couple people, one seller from Baja California- Rosalillita, helped me with my Spanish while asking me the English word for this or that. It was pretty awesome. Another time I had a full out conversation with one of our cab drivers, and it was exciting that he could actually understand my limited language skills.

Everynight, the sunset was breathtaking. We took many walks on the beach, many lounging afternoons, many treks into town, and even more delicious meals.

On the 2nd day there, my camera broke. We have no idea how. But mom had her camera, so all was well. I'd love to post pictures, but the files are too large to load here, so either I'll have to resize them all, or post separately. This will come later.

In the meantime, we're planning a trip to New Mexico, and also to the Arizona Renaissance Faire. I'll try to keep this updated. Thanks for reading, and hasta luego!

on playing dress up

2008-11-24T18:19:00.000-08:00

It seems as though all I've done for the past month is play dress up. I last left you with the spooky proof of my undead-ness. Somehow I revived myself just in time to accompany my favorite little cowboy to two Halloween parties. Em and I joined the ranks of the cow pokes to chaperone Gavin the Kid. He's quick with the lariat, and relentless in his temper. I think he had a blast gathering candy from strangers (though he didn't eat any of it).

Later on in the night, I switch my cowboy hat for elf ears, and Charles and I went out on the town. We went to a costume party at a club nearby. We were the first ones on the dance floor, and I preceded to rock out. Within half an hour, the floor was so crowded we couldn't move. It was fun nonetheless.

Next up, (the morning after Halloween), we celebrated Samhain, the Celtic New Year by attending the wonderful bagpipe-filled festival nearby. I was in heaven as the pipers piped. I can't explain how much I love that sound. Also, I found a wicked nifty hair thing. :)

Dia de los Muertos coincides with both of the aforementioned holidays. In fact, the modern versions of all three are sort of piled into one holiday for me. Their origins are based on the same ideas, only modern commercialism has infiltrated them. However, Tucson is the best place ever for sifting through the corruption and learning to appreciate the meaning behind it all. I did my own little altar for Dia de los Muertos, and then we joined up with the All Soul's Procession. My pictures don't do it justice, so you should all read about it and see the pictures at allsoulsprocession.org. It attracted thousands of people. It was amazing. The finale was the burning of the huge community urn and a performance by Flam Chen.

All told, I had a wonderful time. Next up, I'll be cooking for Thanksgiving and then heading out to San Diego for a little vacation.

PS- I'm thankful for all of you. :)

on being alive and being dead

2008-10-25T12:24:00.001-07:00

Much has (of course) happened in the past month (ish). While none of it actually involves going out of town, I still consider all of it to involve some tame adventure.

Much of the month's excitement has revolved around Gavin turning 1. He's quite the joy, and probably the cutest, smartest, sweetest, and most handsome little boy EVER (not that I'm bias or anything). He made the Tucson paper, headlining the Foothills section, with his sweet little face playing some maracas in music class.

I'm really lucky to spend so much time with Gavin. He teaches me incredible things.

His first birthday party coincided with Rhonda's visit to the serene Sonoran. She flew in on a Friday afternoon, from good ol' dixie land. That night we went out for a delicious dinner at our favorite bistro (which, by the way, is SO good that you ALL must eat there if EVER you are in Tucson). Saturday we checked out the Tanque Verde Swap meet, where I found lots of stuff for very little green. We shopped for Lindsay later on 4th Ave, and had enough time to wander around Sabino before the party.

Gavin was a rockstar, loved all his new toys and books, and dove face first into his chocolate cake (we have a lot in common).

Sunday we took her up to Mt. Lemmon for the delicious views and to see the Oktoberfest celebration. There were a bunch of old guys in lederhosen jiggin' out! It was awesome. I really really really really hope I'm that spritely when I'm that old. They did this dance where they lifted a bench and beat on it and jumped up on top of it and spun around. It was crazy cool. Even better, I got to learn one of their dances and perform it with them and other spectators! It was a blast.

Monday she and Charles went to the Desert Museum and then we all went to dinner at Guadelajara. Anyway, it was lovely having her out here, and I'm glad she got to meet my little sushine.

In other news, I finished Halloween costumes for Gavin (a cowboy), and two of his little buddies (a punk rocker and a clown). They are really cute, and I will post pics as soon as I get them. I went on a day trip to the zoo* with them (the above mentioned cuties) and I loved it. Being around lots of kids at once is my favorite. Luckily, come February, Em will have baby Isabella, so I will have 2 kids at all times. :D Happy, happy, joy, joy. (*the kids were too young to notice, but the zebras were definitely in the process of mating, and it was really funny to watch the parents of older kids act all embarrassed when asked what was happening).

So, I've been loving living. But then there's the other half of this blog, last night we became UNDEAD.

A horde of zombies invaded Tucson and tramped through the downtown streets. I was attacked and all of the sudden all I could think about was how hungry I was for BRAINS... GRRRR.

I joined the mass of the undead as we terrorized Tucsonians for the evening. Don't worry, though, other than a little hangover from too much brain, I'm all better today..... Or am I??? Muahahahahaha.

over the river and through the woods...

2008-09-29T20:38:00.000-07:00

Realizing tonight that I have neglected this blog since the beginning of August, I find myself unable to even recall all the adventures I've had since then (almost two entire months of mischief). I am certain that a few days in San Diego was well cherished, a trip to Sedona with my favorite baby exhausted me, a weekend camping in the cool climes of Mt. Lemmon restored my calm, and finally a weekend of Salt River tubing and desert camping with my favorite cowgirl was well met. I have been alive and well and living the desert life.

A trip to San Diego gave me the great pleasure of seeing one of Christa's dance performances, and having the luxury of seeing a whole day's worth of dancing at a really sweet park. It also gave me some down time on the beach. Oh yum.

I went to Sedona for work, and it is still my favorite city in this part of the country. I got to show to Gavin for the first time. :)

Charles and I discovered Mt. Lemmon (the town there called Summerhaven is aptly named) in all its glory: so much cooler than the city over which it towers (Tucson) and yet so close (half an hour drive up). It's quite the respite from the still hot heat of the Sonoran. Here it is almost October and we are "cooling off" to 95 degrees. Anyway, we've been up the mountain twice, camping one of those times for a couple days.

Camping out in Mesa was wicked hot but wicked fun. Christa and I did some improve moves on the sandy ground, got a couple of cactus spines in our sandals, and listened to the beautiful song of coyotes on the hunt in the middle of the night with our boys. This was all after spending the day floating down the river under the Phoenician sun.

Life is good. All our plants are growing well, and I got to eat the first peppers to fully grow. Yum. No trips planned in the very near future, as I am well occupied with the 1st birthdays of two of the coolest babies ever, and the making of halloween costumes for them and the coolest 2 year old.

Here are some pics:

on following the rising sun, for a change

2008-08-05T14:12:00.001-07:00

Whenever someone asks me where I'm from, I never know what to say. Do I tell them where I grew up? Where I currently reside? Where I'd call home? It doesn't seem like a difficult question, but it is. I feel most at home when I have no physical address; when everything I own is in my car, and I'm on the road to who knows where. But if I had to pick a place to call home, it would be hard. Growing up in Tennessee, and having my family there gives me obvious strong ties, but I'd say in the year that I lived in Massachusetts, I built more intense and meaningful relationships with more amazing people than I have every before in my life. So, when I visit there, and everyone says, "it's great to have you home," I don't even think to correct them. If home is where the heart is, though, then I guess my home spans the world. Even so, it was great to have yet another visit to my other home.

I left on Friday afternoon, and unfortunately, the journey east is a long one. I arrived just past midnight, and was picked up by Nick and Beth. Since I'd spent all of my flights sleeping, I wasn't very tired, but it being nearly 3 a.m. eastern time by the time we were home, I had to go ahead and crash. It was both weird and comfortable sleeping in my old room.

Saturday I got to spend the entire day with my favorite preschooler (not that I had favorites, I mean come on, I was a professional...). He grows so fast, but is always super excited to see me. He keeps me busy too. We spent most of the day playing some sort of ball or frisbee and making up games that involved both the ball and the frisbee, or even intricate sidewalk chalk scoring. At one point I had a ga-zillion points! It was awesome. For lunch we all took a little trip into Vermont, to his dad's store, where they were grilling out. He also has the coolest dad ever, so it was great seeing all of them. Later that evening (after more ball, of course, and plenty of snuggles), everyone came over for pizza. We sat in the front yard, pulled the truck up to the fold out chairs to get some music, and looked completely like white trash. It was wicked fun.

Later that night, we got all dolled up and rolled in to Diva's. I always feel wicked comfortable going back there, and as always, it's amazing to get to dance with Juan again. We rocked the stage, and even got loads of video footage for a couple videos he's pulling together. We discovered this cool new move as well. I'll have to post pictures later because they're all on Beth's camera. Anyway, it was wicked fun until the end where some drama broke out. It always sucks to get hated on, but I suppose it's inevitable. All in all though, I enjoyed myself.

Sunday, Dusty came to pick me up and our plan was to spend all day on his lake sailing. Well, it wasn't exactly hot and sunny, so we watched a wicked pretty thunderstorm for a while.

Finally, it stopped storming enough to set sail, and the ducks I had been feeding on shore followed us all around the lake. I wonder if they liked the tortilla chips or the olives I'd been feeding them better?

Anyway, we spent a while sailing, and then we built a fire (yes, it was that cold) and chilled around the lakehouse. Later Dusty made like the best dinner ever, and I even ate stuffed clams.

Monday I got to spend with my beautiful James, whom I have missed SO much. Oh my gosh has he grown!! But he's still the same perfect James. His drawing skills have increased a thousandfold, and now he draws a million times better than I do. We spent the afternoon building a castle with blocks, and even setting up a treasure island. We also played pirates on his cool new playset outside, where we had to fight evil smooshed up wizards and find a way to defeat the sorry sisters so we could rescue our favorite knights from the saxon war. All said, we were very successful, and we found the treasure just in time for dinner! I got to eat dinner with James and his parents, and after reading him a bedtime story, catch up with his folks.
They set me up for the night, and so I got to spend the morning playing with James as well. He showed me his mad new swimming skills, and we went on many more adventures. Jane took us to lunch and then had to drop me off at my old preschool. James was so very upset he couldn't even say bye to me. It broke my heart. He was sobbing as they drove away, and so I did too. I miss him so much, but I'm so glad I got to see him.

I spent the afternoon catching up with my former preschoolers (or those that are left), and almost all of them are heading off to kindergarten at the end of this month. They grow so very fast, but I'm lucky because they still remember me, and love to see me. Needless to say I got some mad snuggles that afternoon.

Tuesday night was the Renaissance Faire at Haven, which I had been anxiously awaiting. Actually, I made my costume with the new sewing machine mom gave me. It looked incredible. If only the night had been equally as good... Besides the dj playing some pentaphobe and beats antique beats, the night was no good. At least I looked good, though. Ha!
Wednesday I spent some more time at the preschool, and then Emily and I went for a swim in the Connecticut River. At this point I was fully aware of why I live in Tucson. It was cold and cloudy. But still fun, of course. Later that night we all got together for a fire and some drinks, and I got to catch up with beautiful old friends.

Wednesday morning Beth, Nick, Emily, and I left for Boothbay Harbor, Maine. Laura (my friend from TN was getting married there). So we spent the day driving, and stopped at a couple of shops. By the time we got there, we had just enough time to do a little exploring and then get all dolled up. Emily was my date. Beth and Nick dropped us off, and we proceeded to enjoy ourselves greatly.I'm not a seafood fan, and I've only had lobster (in small bits) twice before in my life. This, however is what was served up at the wedding feast:
I'm very proud of myself because I managed to eat it. I tried mussels for the first time (and liked them), and with the help of a glass or two of wine, I was able to eat the lobster claws sans problem. It was super yummy. But come time for the tail, I tried to rip it off, and then I saw all the little legs, and I totally freaked out. Thank god they hadn't served it to me head facing forward. Emily saved me, and got the meat out for me so I didn't have to think about what I was eating. I ate it all, and it was delicious, regardless of the drama of eating something that still looks like it did when it was alive.

After dinner, I danced myself insane, and then caught a moment with the beautiful bride.

Not ready for the evening to end, several of the bridal party and Emily and I went out to the ONLY bar in Boothbay, and proceeded to rock out till the mornin' light. I had a super blast.

Friday, Em and I rode the free trolley all around town and realized that there is nothing to do if you have little money. Sounds like sailing, kayaking, and whale watching would have been fun, but otherwise this is not a place I'd ever come back to. We did end up a little out of the way at an Alpaca farm, for some fuzzy entertainment.
I had hoped to get to hang out with Laura and everyone from Tennessee sometime on Friday. Otherwise, I don't think I'd have stayed the extra day. Needless to say , I was super bummed and upset when it didn't happen. I hate that I was in such close proximity to someone I never get to see, and I still didn't get to see her. Anyway, we didn't do much of anything the rest of the day, except ogle the cloudy view. The boats were pretty though.... I like boats.
Saturday was 5 hours in the car back to Mass, a brief hello at Priya's birthday party, another hour or so to the airport, and then 8 hours of travel time back to Tucson. Can you say I was tired of sitting? My legs were cramping, but it was all worth it.

I got to see ALMOST everyone I wanted to out there, and I loved it. Did I mention that I have the most beautiful and amazing friends? It's true.

And I think that's it for my summer travels. Next up: who knows. But I intend to rock Tucson in the meantime. :)

on mom and the desert

2008-07-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

Finally, after all the people who have been incessantly visiting me in Tucson, my mom made it out! My ideal world would consist of all my family and friends moving here because it is absolutely wonderful, but if all I can get is a visit, I'll take it. (I seem to have failed to blog about my weekend in San Diego, Ashley's visit to Tucson, and Christa's visit to Tucson all involving dancing, street fairs, hikes, great restaurants, river tubing, and more).

So, I got to show my mom all the cool places I've been blogging about. She arrived on Wednesday afternoon, and I had to send Charles to fetch her on the bus since I was working. So I got home to my mom! How lovely! That night we chowed some beans and rice, and I took her to Sabino Canyon for some beautiful desert views and sunset walking. We even got to go down to the raging (for the desert) river that was completely dry only a couple months ago. I love monsoon season.

The next day I had Gavin, but luckily I was able to take mom with us to babytime at the library and then swimming and then to the park. She got to meet Gavin and see firsthand what I do every day. It was really cool. I think Gavin took a liking to her. :) After work, she took me to get a manicure and pedicure (of which I've had one each EVER in my life). I felt awkward, but at least the lady was artistic and put some really cool flowers on my nails. By now of course, my nails are demolished, but shhh.... don't tell mom ;) That night was dinner at my favorite restaurant ever, Las Candelas with amazing food prepared by the talented Chris.

And then the adventure began. We decided to tube down the Salt River because I'd told mom about taking Ashley there and she said it sounded like fun. I made fun of her the whole time because she asked if we need life jackets for tubing. Turns out we spent 8 hours on the river (when it's only supposed to take 4 or 5) and by the time we got back, the people said they had been worried about us. Ooops! The drive back to Tucson was rockin' because there was a huge thunderhead with some incredible lightning. Quite the show the whole way home. Have I mentioned I love monsoon season?
The next day we did some grocery shopping and some cooking for the little fiesta we were invited to. Between swimming and errand running, we managed to get everything together and have a ball with my friends that night. Mom was a hit for sure.

Oh, and did I mention that she bought me a sewing machine!?!?!? It was a huge surprise and I was oblivious for a while, but turns out it's an early birthday present, and I'm so psyched. I've been wanting one forever. So we spent most of Sunday afternoon/evening in a struggle because I decided to make a renaissance costume for Haven, and my idea is to just cut up some stuff and stitch it together without really preparing it, but mom likes to use silly things like measurements and patterns and do it all right ;) Anyway, she supervised my initial corset cutting, ripped out a few of my stitches, and showed me some spiffy tricks. I finished the whole costume last night, and it rocks by the way. You'll see pictures in a future blog.
So, all in all it was a wonderful few days with mom. I hadn't seen her since Christmas, so it was super awesome having her here and getting to show her my life.

Next up, I depart tomorrow for a week in Massachusetts and Maine. So until next time, party hardy.

on another adventure

2008-06-30T09:00:00.001-07:00

Better late than never. Two weekends ago I spent on the road of another random adventure: the quest for ghost towns. I'd heard of this highway somewhere in New Mexico that was supposed to be home to a whole bevy of ghost towns. After seeing some uber-touristy ones that charged admission (come one, people, it's supposed to be a ghost town), I was anxious to see a genuine deserted town. So, the dread pirate and I set out to see what could be seen. We left Tucson heading on some scenic highways east into New Mexico. The drive was absolutely gorgeous the entire way, and after spending the majority of the day on the road, we actually made it to 12, the legendary ghost town road. By this time it was rapidly approaching dusk, so we decided to try and find a campsite. We see a sign directing us off the highway to get to a lake. We assume there will be camping here, so we head off the road. We are now on an unpaved road, with the knowledge that the lake should be like 10 miles away. My car isn't exactly four-wheel drive, but she handles pretty well. We are the only people on the road, and suddenly we are climbing up this mountain. The dirt road is rough in spots, and sometimes it feels like we're about to bottom out, but oh my life is it beautiful. Funny thing is we have no freaking idea what road we are on, or where exactly we are, and we also have no cell phone service. BUT it's beautiful. And that is that.
After several miles, we come across a group of elk. They are right on the road, and then they scurry up the mountain face through this sort of canyon. They are absolutely majestic. We continue to see loads of wildlife, and the scenery only gets more beautiful as we get deeper into the middle of nowhere. At one point (well past the point where the lake should have been), we come to a fork in the road, and one direction is too rough to drive on while the other has a bad vibe. Thus, we turn around and decide to try and find a place to camp along the road. We get to drive back through all the amazingness we just saw, and finally pull off to the perfect little spot (except for the swarms of bugs). The stars out there were so clear, so we sat on top of the ridiculously dusty car to watch them shine. It was lovely.

After a relatively uncomfortable sleep on the knotted ground, we awoke to sunshine and hit the road again. Stopping at a general store in the middle of nowhere (one of those 'we don't take kindly to strangers 'round these parts' kind of general stores), we inquire about the ghost towns. Everyone we ask claims they've never heard of such a thing, that they've lived here all their lives and never saw one. On the other hand, they claim, this could be a ghost town. Hm. This road is famed for the ghost towns. Even google says so. So now we think we are in the twilight zone. or that we've just met some ghosts. Anyway, we drive the whole length of the highway, and nothing. Or what we think is nothing. As it turns out we assume that all the random clusters of 2 or 3 rotting buildings are probably in fact ghost towns. Kind of cool. Finally we make it to a larger gas station and buy a local map. They give us some tips. First stop: Magdalena. An old mining town. We eat at a little cafe that serves the worst enchilada I've ever encountered, and then head up to the mine to have a look. Turns out they'll arrest you if you don't have a pass, so we proceed to Jim's Rock Shop where the passes are sold, only to find them closed. Oh well. Who wants to pay 10 bucks to look at an old mine shaft anyway?

Now it's on some real back roads to the creme de la creme of ghost towns: Mogollon. This is one of those towns that was actually a pretty decent town, only it was abandoned, except for a couple of creepy people who still shack up there. As someone said, "It's like Providence, with eyes peering out the windows as you drive by." Only to get there, we took the most scenic route possible. I'm talking dirt roads, trail roads, that were meant for four wheel off road vehicles. Thel held up pretty well. There were many parts where I thought we'd get stuck, but we drove the entire afternoon on roads like this and it all worked out. We were utterly alone in the middle of New Mexico, on dirt roads, and able to see some beautiful and probably rarely seen wildlife and landscapes. It was wonderful.

We even found this off-the-path state park, and some dude who'd been there for 10 days. There was only one way in because the other road was completely washed out. It would be the perfect escape. Finally, we roll through Mogollon and it is everything we'd heard. Creepy as all get-up. It was super cool, though. We ogled it for a while, and then the sun started setting. We drove down into Silver City, got a hotel room, and headed over to teh Drifter's Lounge in hopes for dinner. Too bad, they didn't serve food, but the completely wasted hostess kept begging us to order a pizza so she could eat some. It was insane. Then we met this crazy character who wouldn't leave us alone, giving us life advice: "Write everything down. Write it down first. At least then you can erase it." Turns out his name is Arcturus (the brightest star in the night sky). Oh, irony. That's not even the best part. This old drunk cowboy taught me how to two-step! It was wicked awesome. He kept asking me to dance, telling me I was a beautiful dancer, and then saying "God Bless you!!" It was hilarious. And he was a good dancer. So now I know the two-step!! Rock!

The next morning we hit the road on the way to Shakespeare, yet another ghost town. We got the tour of the place, and it was kind of cool, and really hot. We watched this blacksmith working his magic at the forge, and that's always awesome. From there, it was down into Bisbee where we chilled at a country bar and attracted a lot of attention (being the strangers that we were). From there, a stop in Tombstone to walk through the streets of the wild west just before sunset. Finally we roll into Tucson just in time to catch the second half of Shakespeare under the Stars production of the Merry Wives of Windsor.

All in all, it rocked. And now I have a newfound desire to spend a weekend down in Bisbee and Tombstone. And to find even more ghost towns.

Otherwise, this past weekend was spent in San Diego yet again, which I will write about soon. Excuse the rambling as I'm running on about 12 hours of sleep in the past 4 days.

Love from the desert!

p.s. As far as pictures go, I can't get any to load up to blogger. So I'll keep trying.

on the road (again) but also in tucson

2008-06-16T15:47:00.000-07:00

Well folks, it looks like this blog will be text only. I'll have to post a photo addendum. Actually, that might be kind of fun. You're going to have to work to get the full Fifel goes West experience this time. Haha.

You'll have to forgive me. I feel like I have lived 10 years in the past 2.5 weeks. If that doesn't speak to you, well just know that I have had one of the most amazing times of my life [and that's kind of intense considering how incredibly amazing my life has been ;)].

Two weeks ago today, Lindsay flew into Tucson late in the evening. I haven't seriously chilled with this girl since I moved away from Tennessee, and it just so happened that she had vacation funds and I had 2 weeks off work. These are the workings of wonderful things. So, she hopped the plane from Nashville and landed in the Wild Wild West where I promptly carried her off into the desert night on my white horse (I actually do have a white car, so ha!) That night we spent sort of re-acquainting ourselves with one another and our separate (but somehow strangely similarly evolving) lives. We enjoyed the late night hot tub under the desert palms, and some pretty loud bellydance beats complete with my best efforts at turning Lindsay into a bellydancer (not a hard task) so she can join my troupe and we can all travel the world together performing. Well anyway, after about 3 hours of sleep, we packed up the car and hit the road.

Our destination was north, and we thought we had planned accordingly. We hopped on the highway (me trying to show Lindsay what little of Tucson I could before we headed out of the Sonoran) and hit Phoenix just in time for rush hour! Lucky us! It could have been much worse though. We trotted through, though, to our first stop, the magical mystical red rock haven Sedona. Now, I've been here a million times (which you can read about in past posts) and every time it seems to impress me more. It's just another world entirely. We hopped on the trail at Bell Rock and took a nice easy hike up to the formation and a little ways up the side to sit and stare at the vast beauty of the Sedona horizon. It was very peaceful. Then we drove through into the touristy uptown area where we strolled through the shops, and ate lunch at this little Thai Cafe where I chanced upon the most delicious sandwich I have ever devoured. By far. Hands down. It was the raw veggie sandwich. Pumpkin seed bread stacked with raw carrots, onions, tomatoes, peppers, mushrooms, apples, sprouts, and all topped with herb mayonnaise. I swear this thing was to die for. I could never recreate it. As if that is not wonderful enough, we got to eat it all outside while gazing at the red rock.

Bellies full, we trudged forward (north actually) to the Grand Canyon. South rim, south entrance. We made it with plenty of time to pitch our tent before sunset. In fact, we had time to stop at the convenient store, purchase hot dogs, s'more makings, a bottle of wine, and still register for the camp site and set up camp with plenty of daylight left. We set up our tent and spread out our feast on the picnic table. Lindsay whittled some twigs into sharp points to cook our dinner on. Except it is completely illegal to gather firewood anywhere in the Grand Canyon. How crazy is that? So, we had to drive to the general store to BUY firewood for $7. We also bought some fire starters that were guaranteed to get our wood burning. On the way to the store, I somehow managed to back my car over the wooden campsite marker and into a boulder. Not that that's anything new. My car has some battle scars. It didn't hurt anything except the would. Only we drew a lot of attention to ourselves. Our neighbors looked like they had constructed a little village on their site, complete with kitchen, shower, RV, separate sleeping and changing tents, etc. etc. They came racing over to make a big deal out of the incident. Then after we got back with our firewood, they gawked at us from behind their propane stove the whole time we tried to get our fire going. I don't know if it was luck, or the wind, or the fact that the wood wasn't dry enough, but we had the hardest time starting a campfire. It would start for a minute and then die out. We were frantically scrambling for leaves and twigs to try to feed it, but we only got to roast our hot dogs for a minute. And they were still cold. And then our fire died out completely and we had no more starters. So Lindsay went to ask this French guy on the other side of us (with his big RV and bag of charcoal) if we could borrow some lighter fluid. In thickly accented English, he informed her that he "could, but it is not sound advice." The whole time the can of lighter fluid is right in front of him, but he won't let us use it because he is convinced we will blow ourselves up. Instead, he offers her some of his charcoal, so she accepts and he hands her the bag. Later when we try to use it, we open it only to find that it is completely empty. We were absolutely the laughing stock of the whole campground. The story doesn't stop there, though.

By this time, it is getting dark, and we are determined to go watch the sunset over this most magnificent of canyons. We take the shuttle from the campground to the Yu.....something....i Point just in time to see the sun sinking it's head behind the foggy shadows of rock. The whole thing just seems surreal. I swear it's all made of water color. It was gorgeous. After that, we make our way to the the Star Talk that is being held at another of the overlooks. The star guide tries to use a laser pointer to point out constellations (come on, dude. It's the sky. Not a whiteboard). Regardless, it was pretty amazing because (of course) there is very little light pollution over GC. So we listen and gaze at the vast expanse above us while feeling the vast expanse below us. It makes you feel so incredibly small, you know. Well, anyway, of course by the time we leave it is pitch black. We hop the shuttle only to find out that it won't take us all the way to the campground. It pretty much kicks us off and points the direction we need to walk. All we have is one of those flashlights that you shake to get power, and it is so weak we can't even see outside the 1 inch radius where it shines. So here we are in the Grand Canyon in the pitch black of night with no good flashlight. We have no idea where the campground is, so we are wandering along the road, hoping we don't fall into the canyon or something. At one point a car passes by and we try to get out of the way and end up tripping over each other. We felt like we were in the Blair Witch Project. It was insane!!! We had to go right up to the front of the signs and shine the light on just to read them. We finally got back. French guy had his nice cozy fire going, and we were wishing we had just poured water on his wood when he was gone. Hmph. Oh well. We completely crashed and spent an uncomfortable adn tormented night on the rock hard ground, freezing (because of course we didn't pack warmly enough. It's June, right? WRONG). And the ravens had a bacchanal all night long outside the tent. So, laughing in the morning at our misfortune, and scarfing down some peanut butter and banana tortillas, we spent the morning wandering along the rim trying to take in all the beauty.

We hit the road around noon, intending to hit up Bryce Canyon next. By the time we were even close, it was pouring rain. And cold. Oh my life, was it cold. And it was June!! What?!?! We even drove through this huge dust storm that made no sense because it was raining and dust storming at the same time. I thought the rain would wet the dust making it too heavy for the wind to carry. Apparently not. So rather than fight the chill, we high-tailed it to Ogden. This made for a rather long and tedious drive. We stopped for coffee somewhere in Southern Utah, only to discover what a rarity it is there! The first place we stopped was complete podunk town. The teenage boy running the desk at the "gas station" informed us, "if ya'll go on up ta freemont, i heard there's a maverick up there that's got a coffee pot." Haha. So, up we go. Apparently there's a lot of talk about this one place that finally got a coffee pot. Anyway, there's no coffee when we get tehre, so we wait for her to brew us some, and it's back on the road.

We roll into Ogden around 10 that night, and head straight to Mandy's. It was so good to see her and the little dogs again. I miss them so!!! I met the lady who lives in my old room as well. That's always weird. After catching up for a minute, we pretty much crashed. It was a long day. And it felt SO good to sleep in a bed after the rocks at the canyon. We showered too (this is a very important part of the story, so keep it in mind.... day 3- a shower). The next morning I showed Lindsay around Ogden. We ate some yummy breakfast, played in Union Station, walked the main street, and even chilled at the River right outside the canyon. Then we met up with Lexi. It was amazing to see her too!! Jay (my former boss) took us all out to dinner that night. He's such a character. Then it was back to Lexi's to chill in the hot tub. It was a little chilly in Ogden. I've really been spoiled by this desert heat. Then that night we hit up Salt Lake City. We went clubbing at AREA 51, and I really don't think they knew what hit them. It was out of hand. We had such a blast.

The original plan was to wake up and hit Yellowstone. This has been one of my dreams for a while now. We looked at the forecast, however, and the whole weekend predicted a high of 50 degrees with snow showers and thunderstorms alternately. Considering we were already freezing (having each brought 1 pair of jeans, one long sleeved shirt, and ten thousand skirts, tank tops, dresses, and pairs of shorts), we opted to head south instead. So, we high tailed it to San Diego. I've never driven 15 from SLC to SD, so I was really excited. We went straight through Vegas. The whole 12 hour drive was pretty much all vast expanse. I love that about the West. You can drive FOREVER and never hit civilization. It is all so incredibly beautiful.

Toward the end of the drive, we come upon this huge gang of motorcycles. They are driving incredibly aggressively and it is absolutely crazy. I'm right beside them for a long time, and there are trucks with them who keep riding up on them and forcing them to get so close to the other traffic. Lindsay and I are looking at them like they are insane (because they are), and I know I gave them some dirty looks. It got really out of hand, and I was finally able to lay off and back up. Later we see them ALL on the side of the road being arrested. I mean 15 cop cars pulling over 50 bikers. It was hilarious. Only later do we find out from the newspaper that the Mongols (what their jackets all said) are a violent biker gang and there were warnings issued to everyone in the area to steer clear of them because they are out for violence. Ha!! What are the odds!! That could have been bad.

Anyway, we arrive in SD around 10 or so, and get a cheap motel room (cheap for San Diego, that is). Christa meets us and we all go out to Kadan. I love this place. There's a bellydance troupe performing whom we quickly befriend, and spend all night dancing to our heart's content. We get back to the room wicked late (us and Christa and her friends), and we are sitting there when we get a knock on the door. It's maybe 3 a.m. at this point. There are about 7 thugged out people standing outside our door. They say they didn't mean to knock on our door, but who knows. We end up talking to them for a while, and it's all chill, until suddenly they start accusing us of hating on them. Of being prejudice. This is absurd!!! There is no grounds for anything, but you can tell they were just looking for trouble. At first they refused to leave, but Christa got in their faces and finally they split. It was completely absurd.

The next morning Lindsay gets approached by a lady escort who wants to recruit her to a job in the escort service. Apparently the stereotype about cheap motels is absolutely true. :)

We checked out (happily) and spent all day on the beach. Ocean Beach. My favorite SD beach. It was cold for the beach, and also overcast, but we somehow managed to get sunburned anyway. We did a little shopping, adn then went to pitch our tent in Christa's mom's back yard (no more motels, thanks) before heading out to party again for the night. This time we went to check out the Industrial scene first (great music but slow and really awesome bartender) and then this other hip pop club (where we stayed until it closed). Again, we danced and rocked out and had a blast. It was amazing have Christa and Lindsay together adn dancing with me. My two girls who have never met one another but who are the most important to me. It was wonderful! After the night out, we decide to get some food. This is fine, but what were we thinking going to a cheap Mexican fast food place? I got a carne asada quesadilla that had SO much grease. It was delicious at hte time, but we all paid for that later.

Anyway, the next day we spent on the beach yet again. It was overcast and cold. Of course. But we enjoyed it. We ate lunch on the pier, and then later Christa took us to Seal Beach and then to watch the sunset at an overlook. There wasn't really much of a sunset, but the whole place is extremely beautiful. That night we had to rest. It's hard to go out till the crack of dawn three nights in a row.

The next morning, we packed up and hit the road. It was back to Tucson. I wanted to be able to show Lindsay around before she had to fly back. We stopped to play in the sand dunes in Yuma on the way.

We got into Tucson in the early afternoon, relishing the heat and blaring sun. We headed straight for the pool. Very shortly thereafter, Lindsay's mom (Rhonda)'s friend, Charles , stopped as he was passing through Tucson. We all chilled by the pool and exchanged adventure stories (as he was having one of his own as well). Later that night we decided to go to 4th Ave where we did a lot of hopping around, dancing, laughing, and general debauchery. Arriving home at 3 a.m., we had decided we hadn't had quite enough fun, so the party continued. There was more laughing, swimming, and a very failed attempt at a motorcycle ride. But oh boy was it fun.

The next day brought an early morning motorcycle tour (one I very much enjoyed) courtesy of Charles. I didn't realize how much I missed all those days of bike rides in Mass. Oh boy do I miss it. We spent lots of time in the sun at the pool, and later ate an amazing Italian meal that made me feel like I was in Europe because it took more than 3 hours to eat. What a life! That night brought more good times, funny stories, and utter exhaustion.

Wednesday morning we awoke early to join Daniel for a little adventure to the San Xavier del Bac Mission just a little south of here. I've been wanting to go, but hadn't had the chance. It was pretty cool. We spent a while just taking all that in. After getting back, we chanced upon this antique gun shop where Lindsay and I found some cheap jewelry treasures. And later that day we dined like gods on some yummy Indian cuisine, and then headed over to Saguaro Naitonal Park to see the sunset. I love it there. We stayed long past sunset and laid on the concrete overlook to gaze at the stars. I love being in immense places with immense people. These two people are certainly immense, and I consider myself eternally grateful to have gotten to share things like this with them.

Thursday morning it was up early to go hiking in Sabino Canyon. It was already pretty hot by 8 a.m., but we saw a ton of wildlife. Up next was a little cowpoke adventure through Old Tucson where we were witness to the cancan show, the gunfight, and our own insanity. We even rode the train all around the little town. It's so cute there. That night was back to the Surly Wench where (on the last night we'd all spend together), we certainly went out with a bang. It was a blast.

Friday brought goodbyes as the wonderful cowboy who had ridden through town continued his journey and the beautiful cowgirl who had adventured with me continued hers. It was hard to know that I couldn't just spend the rest of my life on a vacation like this.

I headed straight to Phoenix after dropping Lindsay off at the airport, to meet up with my other Charles. I spent the weekend there and drove the Apache Trail (breathtaking), and even got to see Goldfield, an old ghost town along the way. We had many an adventure, and I feel like a different person.

In fact, my entire life stretches around me and all I know is that the physical, emotional, spiritual, and intellectual events of the past 2.5 weeks have left me beautifully and unalterably and profoundly dumbfounded. So much beauty!!! So much adventure. These are the things I live for.

Thanks for reading. And thanks for being a fan. It means a lot to me.

on Mars!!

2008-05-25T19:47:00.000-07:00

So. This afternoon around 3:50 Pacific time, the Phoenix Mars Lander successfully landed on Mars (which is great because it would have been said for something named Mars Lander to have failed to land on Mars). The mission is guided by U of A on behalf of NASA. This means that I got to go to the celebration for the whole thing. They held festivities all afternoon in the Space Science buildings on campus. At the time the festivities started, the Lander was still thousands of miles away from touchdown, but it's important to realize that it was traveling at a speed of around 60,000 mph relative to Mars. That's pretty unfathomable if you ask me.

Anyway, I got there in time to catch some info about the cameras installed on the Phoenix, check out the university's Visual Imaging Center, check out some amazing prints with 3D glasses, and hold a piece of Mars in my hand!!! I also got a ton of free stuff: stickers, a poster, 8 x 10 prints of the surface of Venus. Oh, and punch! And I checked out the cool stuff on display at the Planetarium. This is me with the moon:
Around 3:30 we headed into the main building to watch the live feed from NASA while some grad students who were working on the mission translated the geekspeak and answered questions. It was so incredibly exciting to be in the middle of this event! The ground control mission is actually at the U of A, so when I say in the middle, I mean it!! This thing has been on its way to Mars since August of 07, so imagine how incredibly anxious the people working on it must have been! Every time something went right, the smiles on their faces got so big they looked painful. Since the cameras onboard the Phoenix couldn't deploy until landing (obviously, since we're talking heat and speed), there weren't any live shots of the landing or anything like that (sorry no News Channel 2, though I wish I were a news anchor sent to Mars to cover an event). Instead, they had digital simulations, shots of the control rooms, and of course the countdown. The crazy thing is that it takes 15 minutes for information to be transmitted all the way from Mars to Earth. So, the Phoenix had landed already only we had no idea what had happened because the information hadn't made it to Earth yet. So as we were anxiously receiving the data, the entire thing had already happened. Luckily it all went incredibly smoothly. In fact, they had more problems during testing than during the actual landing. Here are some shots I got of the crowd and the screen:
And we have touchdown!!!!!!!!
Everyone was so excited. Cheers and hugs all around. It's actually on Mars! No problems! How amazing!!

It then took several hours for the Phoenix to get its bearings and whatnot. Also the other 3 orbiters were lining up to beam back stats on the Lander. But after a couple hours the first images started arriving:
The Martian horizon as seen TODAY from the Phoenix Mars Lander. This takes my breath away. It's really unfathomable and amazing that we can see this so clearly. If you want to check out more about the mission and the other images the Phoenix is getting (eventually we'll get color images too), then you can keep up with it all here or here.

on the beach

2008-05-13T20:19:00.000-07:00

So, I spent the weekend in San Diego with Christa (who just recently moved back there). It is about a 6 hour drive from here, and a very beautiful one at that. Also, I was in dire need of some open road.

I left Friday after work, to follow the setting sun (of course). I got stopped at all three Border Patrol checks that were open. There must be something about my car that screams smuggler because every single time I've been through a border check, they've had me stop, pull over, and pop the trunk. For those of you who don't know, this isn't routine. Usually you pause or maybe even exchange a few words, but rarely do they actually search your car. Well, this time, they even put the dogs on it. By this point, I'm hoping they have a party. I almost want to fill my trunk with something really weird so they'll at least get a kick out of it. Can't be fresh produce, but what if I just fill it with bouncy balls so that they roll out when the trunk is opened? They would think I was so weird. And I would be rolling in laughter. Well, needless to say, they found nothing. But it did give me a great idea for a story: 24 year old American girl is the leading Colombian Drug Lord. How unsuspecting, right?

Anyway, I got to drive through Saguaro National Monument, and through Yuma, and through the rocky area east of SD, and then the mountains. It's probably my favorite 6 hour drive. I rolled in to SD around 7:30, just in time to to get ready for a night on the town. We opted for the casually elegant look, complete with sneakers and rocking socks:
First we stopped into this bar called Katan (I think that's how it's spelled). This place has a medieval theme with coats of arms and swords on the walls, so I was geeking out a little. Even better, they were hosting this Puertorican drum group. SO, there's a dance floor, AND live drums. Can life get any better than this? It's questionable. We rocked out for a while, and then four of Christa's friends got there. It was great to meet one of the girls I've only heard about in stories. Anyway, they weren't really digging the world fusion as much as we were, so we all hopped across the street to a place called Air Conditioned (which it wasn't) where this dj was spinning 80's dance grooves. It was pretty crowded inside. And wicked hot. 80's music is great and all, but I can only dance to it for so long before I'm bored. Being with Christa though, we had loads of fun and the boredom didn't come till much later. Two of her friends left, and then Christa and I decided to hop back to the first place. We did, and the dj was on top of the world grooves. It was incredible. We danced and danced. Some guy even taught me some new latin moves. I had quite a blast. In fact we were having so much fun that before we knew it, the place was closing. So, we headed back to the car and then got home a little after 4 a.m. (I'd also like to add that I was freaking cold. I'm so used to desert life, that Cali seemed crazy cold. Which is odd to me).

Next morning we awoke around 10 to hit the beach. Actually, first we made a scrumptious breakfast of eggs and salsa, vegetarian sausage, toast, and pear. It was really yummy. Okay, so then we hit the beach. We cruised down to Sunset Cliffs, which is like the most beautiful place in SD (I blogged about it from last time I was there, in case you missed it). There's one particular beach that is Christa's favorite, so we decide to hit that. Only, it's down the cliffs. When she used to live there, there was a rope. Well, not anymore. It rotted. Or something. So we really want to get down there but it's a wicked steep jagged rock slope. I'm completely game because I really want to get to that beach, so I start down crab style on my hands and feet. Then mostly I'm on my butt trying to slide. It was crazy precarious, and I had to drop to the rocks below. And I was barefoot. And I threw my stuff down in front of me. I had quite the adrenaline rush. BUT. We made it down, and it was so beautiful and so worth it.
We explored the whole beach, and even found a dead crab who was quite beautiful.
Then we lounged around in the sun, and kept moving our belongings back as the tide came in.

Enter: problem . We got there by sliding down a rock face with no rope. Hm. And now we want to get back. Hm. No rope. Well then. There are some steep stairs at the very far end of the cliffs. Only the tide is coming in. So the rocks you would walk on to get there... are covered in ocean.If you look closely at this above photo, you can see the stairs. And imagine those rocks covered, and the cliff face is to the left. We spent what seemed like forever taking one rock at a time, at the moments between one wave crashing against the cliff face and the next. You couldn't see where you were stepping except at that exact moment. So, slowly but surely. But the tide was strong. At one point it knocked me into the cliff and back into Christa. We and all of our belongings were soaked, but we finally made it, exhausted, to the stairs. Where we then had to climb four flights. :) It was awesome.

Next we changed clothes and hit up Newport Ave for some shopping and a yummy Mexican dinner at a chill little place with optimal people watching. Among the things we saw were two 4 year olds with mohawks, a dog with sunglasses, and a guy running down the street with a half empty handle of whiskey and another guy chasing him. :) After that, we headed to this little suspension bridge she wanted to show me that hung over this lush canyon. It was wonderful to see so much green in one place.
Then it was up to the top of Mount Helix for the sunset. The place had a great view, only the sky was wicked smoggy.
There was a huge cross on top of the hill, too, because it is owned by a church.
And the sunset started, and was mediocre because of the fog, but then suddenly the sun just kind of dropped behind the smog, and the sky turned gray, and that was that. I can honestly say it was the ugliest sunset I ever saw (and I don't think sunsets are ugly). At least we got a kick out of it.
And on the way down, we got a great view of this crazy house on top of that mountain. Flying Saucer anyone?
Then we headed home, exhausted, to get ready for another night out. We had to jack up on the coffee, but off we went. First to this place that was hosting a night called One Nation Under Groove. The club seemed awesome. An amazing environment, big dance floor, etc, etc. Only, someone needs to look up the word groove in the dictionary. This was more like One Nation Under Bad Excuse for Dance Music. We tried to goof off and have fun anyway, but like the 80's, that only lasts for so long. Some of Christa's other friends showed up, so I got to meet them, but then we split for this other club (I don't recall the names of these). We were kind of iffy about paying another cover fee for the night, but we stood outside to listen, and it sounded tight. Then, the bouncer let us in for free (woot!) It pays to be a pretty girl sometimes. ;) This place was pretty crowded too, but the music was hiphoppy and good. Lots of people were dancing. So we rocked for a while. Then the dj started some weird experimenting with some not so flowy tunes, and we kept loosing our groove. Finally we decided to call it a night (we were extremely exhausted anyway). So it was home to bed by 2 or so.

Sunday morning, we woke up, ate some Mexican leftovers (enchiladas for breakfast are my favorite), and went out for coffee. We went to this Egyptian Teahouse which was really cool. We even lined up a possible dance performance with the owner (score for us). Then it was back to pack and hit the road again. Which I did. The drive was just as beautiful heading back. There was only 1 border check this time, too. Which would have made my trip shorter, except I stopped in Yuma to play in the dunes. There's one little road going through miles of sand dunes, so I parked Thel and hiked up. You can see a little of its amazingness here. If you want more, check my older blogs. I love Yuma.
So, I rolled into Tucson just after sunset, to crash and get ready for work Monday morning. I'm still recovering, but it was amazing. I had a blast. And the road felt so good. Next up: north to Utah. Over and out.

-Desert Belle

On Not Being on the Road (for once)

2008-04-30T18:15:00.001-07:00

I am itching to be back on the road again. I hate sitting still. I love travel. So much.
It's like my great grandpa sang:

I know I'm old enough to quit this running round
I've tried a hundred times to stop and settle down
But every time I find a place I'd like to stay
I hear a freight train holler and I'm on my way

I got the freight train blues, Lawdy, Lawdy
Got them in the bottom of my rambling shoes
And when the whistle blows I gotta, Oh Lawdy
Guess I'm never gonna lose the freight train blues

(Roy Acuff, Freight Train Blues)

So, maybe it's just in my blood?  Anyway, I have
a couple trips planned. In two weekends I'll be
heading out to San Diego to spend a couple days
with Christa. It's a 6 hour drive, and I get to
drive through Yuma (yay!).

Then in the beginning of June I hope to drive
back up to Utah to collect some belongings and
to visit some friends.  I'll probably only spend
a weekend there then, too.

In late July, it's back to the East Coast, to see
James (hopefully, this time) in Mass and then to
Laura's wedding in Maine.

THEN I'll be performing at an Electrobelly show in
Pittsburgh in October.

So, yes, there are a lot of travels in my immediate
future, but what I really want is to go somewhere new. 
I have a list of states I've yet to visit, and I was
just drooling over google maps, and I determined my
much yearned for adventure: a road trip up through Utah,
into Idaho, stopping along the way, then into Southern
Montana, and then south into Wyoming for a healthy foray
in Yellowstone!  Oh how lovely it would be!!!  I think I
would want a couple weeks to do the tour.  Nothing fancy.
With the price of gas being as it is, though.... and
then there's vacation time. I could take it off, but it
wouldn't be paid. I'm not that wealthy. Yet. So, if anyone
wants to donate to my cause, I'd gladly accept. 
Until then, I will save my measly weekly
dollars until I can once again go home (the road).

Otherwise, all is well. I love my job, and the weather
here is amazing.
It's been almost 100 every day this week.

Thanks to all you faithful eyes out there. I'm glad you're reading.
Love and Light.

on being productive

2008-04-13T21:58:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm finally actually getting involved in life here (in a more engaging way, that is, besides just being in love with the desert... which I must admit is not very productive). I found a hiphop class that I really dig, so I plan on attending it weekly. There are a couple other dance classes in line to be tried out as well, so I'm wicked excited about that.

Also, this weekend, I was very productive. I made an entire new dance costume that I'm really proud of (I'll post pics eventually), and that inspired some other ideas for creations that will soon be in the works. Furthermore, I finally put the finishing touches on my manuscript for a collection of poetry I've been working on, and I'll be sending it into a contest tomorrow. So put some positive energy my way, please. :)

Next weekend, I'll be renewing my CPR certification, and, of course, dancing some more. And I'll soon be registering for some dance workshops in June.

I've been reading 2 or 3 books per week, and I'm getting familiar with the library which is super cool.

And the best news for last: Christa is moving to San Diego which means she will only be 6 hours away from me (3 if we meet in Yuma), and I will get to see her (and more importantly dance with her) like twice a month. OH YEAH!

So, all in all, I'm being very productive and even looking into Grad school options. I'm happy here as I find my niche, and Gavin develops more and more personality every day. I'm so lucky to have him in my life. Yet another of my rays of sunshine.

That's all for now. Love from the desert.

-Calamity Wilde ;)

on the east coast, the oh so sweet coast *

2008-03-26T17:30:00.000-07:00

* I wrote this entire thing in a fever-induced stupor, so cut me some slack :)

Oh, the East Coast. I love love love love love it. I love New England and all the people there. If it weren’t so freaking cold, I’d probably go back. Anyway, I got to spend five wonderfully glorious beautiful days there.

I left on Tuesday night around 10:30. You’d think the red-eye wouldn’t be crowded, but it was oversold! They were offering $300 for people to give up their seats. Then we were smashed in like sardines, and it was abnormally LOUD. Maybe it was where I was sitting, but I’ve never been on a flight so noisy before! I tried sleeping, only to little avail. I was flying Continental, which means they actually give you snacks for free, so that was the only good part about that flight: some yummy little cookies I ate around 2 a.m. We flew into Newark at 6:30, where I had an hour before hopping the little plane over to Hartford. I sat next to a Continental pilot on the second flight, and in talking about our travels, realized he had totally been to Murfreesboro several times and we had partied at the same places! Small World. Haha.

Dusty picked me up from the airport in his hot new truck. It’s huge and black and loud (and later, I even got to drive it). He had a huge cup of coffee waiting for me, too (aw, Dusty). We made haste over to the Whately Diner (The best little diner in New England, for sure). I spent countless late nights here, so it was great to be back. Actually, going back to Mass felt a lot like going back to Tennessee in terms of how much it feels like home. I think I have more friends in Mass, too. Damn, I miss it. Anyway, after the diner, we went to the preschool. My kids were so excited to see me (and I them). I got mad snuggles, and I was wicked happy. I got to meet the new kids also, and hear about the ones who’ve been in kindergarten this year. Well, come 2 or so, I was absolutely beat, so I made my way to Beth’s house to shower and nap (in my old room, no less).
Once everyone got off work, we all congregated there for general hullabaloo. My favorite preschooler now kindergartener (not that I have favorites) even came over with his dad. I open the door and he leapt into my arms. It was so cute. He always used to tell me he wanted to marry me, but that night he informed me that I was too old. Ouch! My plans for the future are ruined!! Haha. But it was so fun. We played a ton. When he had to go home for bed, the rest of us went out to the Elks for some darts, drinks, and attempts at creating our own dance scene. It was wicked fun. By the time we got home, I was so tired from not having slept the night before that I was out.

Next morning, Dusty and I went to grab some eats at a litte pubby type place, and then he dropped me back off at the preschool. I got to spend all afternoon with the kids again, and even see the ones that weren’t there the day before. I also got to sled down the hill with them!!

Later that night, Emily came back over (she was going out of town herself, so it’d be the last I’d get to see her), and we all chilled and had pizza until Xandra got there. She came from Boston and somehow passed the exit, so it took her like 5 hours to get there instead of 2. Well anyway, Xandra and I got all us-ed out to head over to the Elevens in NoHo for drum and bass night (which as always been every Thursday). We get there, meet up with Vinny, and realize that it is absolutely NOT drum and bass night. In fact, the crowd is uber-lame, and we stand out like sore thumbs. Some live band has just finished, and there’s no d.j. in sight. So we exit post haste and decide to grace Diva’s with our presence (since it’s just down the street, and it’s already 12:30, and nowhere in NoHo will admit you after 1). Enter Diva’s and 80’s night complete with ravey goth bellydance get-up. Haha. It was a trip. We rocked out, and it was amazing to dance with Xandra again after so long. We were geeking out. We also drew a lot of attention to ourselves. One, several people were happy to see me there again, and two, we danced and looked like no one else there. It was fun anyway. We stayed till close, and then went over to the little diner in Noho, where I had my second milkshake of the day, which made me feel too sick. So, we went home for the few hours of sleep my trip was destined to grant me every night.

Next morning, we gather our belongings (this, when Xandra is involved, is a greater and more fun task than you could EVER imagine), and pack the car. We are heading to Wells, Maine to see Christa at her *clears throat* beach home. Haha! We end up leaving around noon or so, and we have to go through Hingham first to pick up some stuff at Xandra’s. We stop for eats, and to get some googlemap assistance. Also, we stop at iParty for general Xandra and Leslie geekout session about making hairfalls with feather boas, and deciding on glowstick color schemes for the night. I love this girl. We had planned on trying to make it the way of R.I. to meet up with Samara, but we were so behind as it was that we didn’t roll into Maine until 7ish. It was SO good to see Christa and her cool living arrangements. We had just enough time to get all decked out (and realize that it was bellydance night at the goth club we were already planning on attending) and hit the road to arrive a little past 11. Getting decked out is the most fun with my ladies, anyway. We also decided to call ourselves The Licious for our up and coming hip-hop, break-beat fusion troupe. Yum!

Well, the club was great. Dancing with these two ladies makes everything in life worthwhile. We were trying to get used to eachother again, after an 8 month hiatus, but apparently no one noticed because they kept complimenting how well we danced together. There were other bellydancers too, and some performances, so that was cool. We stayed till the end, and still wanting to dance, crashed the live jam band party upstairs with our crazy moves, and definitely snagged the undivided attention of the photographer, who, to his exuberance, got some shots of Xandra rocking out.

Back at the beach house, we had a 4 a.m. feast, and some girltalk before crashing. Next morning, Christa supplied us with an amazing breakfast of bagels and fresh fruit, and it was packing up (again) to head out to Holyoke and Juan. Before hitting the road, though, we our way to the beach (of course). It was beautiful and cold, and crazy Xandra took off her boots and ran into the ocean!! Intense! Like I said, packing up is quite the process.

I was thinking we may have time to hook up with Samara again, but we didn’t even leave Christa’s till after 3. Juan was calling over and over to tell me to get there already. Haha. We rolled in after a little over 3 hours. I finally got to see his new apartment in person, and DAMN! It was wicked cute, and amazingly decorated. He is so talented. Juan was already in the process of getting ready for Diva’s, so we began our own, and danced a lot while doing it. We played with Coco, the amazing bird, and took some photos, and we were out. Smashed into the car with the volume turned to the max, and rocking out. I couldn’t have been happier. My favorite people!

Diva’s was amazing because I was so incredibly excited. I saw a bunch of people I hadn’t seen Thursday, and people I didn’t know kept coming up to me to welcome me home and tell me they were so happy to see me back on stage. It was surreal. Juan and I got back in our groove, and of course, got mad attention and compliments. Then Joe showed up (on his night off!!), and even danced with me (though he hates dancing). Even though he wasn’t behind the bar, he still snagged cherries for me, and he stayed the whole night (yay). So, I ran around between Juan, Christa and Xandra, Beth and Nick, Vinny, random people, and Joe all night long. Juan and I rocked hard, and Christa and I got our groove back. It was a beautiful night, indeed. I dig that place, and miss it tons. Afterward, we all went to the Whately diner (again) except Juan and Bruce who were tired. So, we caught a ride there with Beth and a ride home with Joe (thanks to them). The diner consisted largely of late night weirdness, and me getting a little sad at realizing I’d be leaving the next morning. We shot some photos, and then departed.

I slept like a rock (only for a few hours, of course). We woke up and Juan and I went to pick up some groceries. He made us a delicious breakfast while Xandra and I prepared for a photoshoot. She wanted to document her newest designs (which are amazing by the way). We did it outside, and Arizonian that I now am, I froze! Anyway, there are some great shots, so it was worth it.

Christa and Xandra left in the early afternoon (amidst much sadness and desire to live closer to one another again), and Juan and I shot some video footage for this video he’s putting together. Then it was time for the airport. Bruce drove, and Juan and I sat in the backseat lamenting distance. They came inside with me, and we walked around till the last minutes. After many hugs and kisses, I went through security, waving all the while. The flight(s) home were more comfortable, but I still didn’t get a ton of sleep. It’s always weird, the transition from a vacation. The only thing I regret is not getting to see James, but hopefully that will happen soon. All I know is I absolutely adore and respect my friends in Mass, and I miss them like crazy. I’m so lucky. And I had a blast. So, until next time…

on the crème de la crème

2008-02-18T16:06:00.000-08:00

So, life as a nanny. It's different here than it was in Mass. At least there, I was also teaching preschool, and the neighborhood where I worked was just a normal part of town, and James and I did normal things like walk around town, go to the library, and get ice cream at Bart's. Well, it's not like that at all here. And it's especially different taking care of a 4 month old versus a 4 year old. Don't get me wrong, I ADORE Gavin, and my job. I can't help, however, but laugh at the whole scenario. The neighborhood where I work is a gated estate community which houses the crème de la crème. It consists, in large part, of very well-to-do retirees. This particular neighborhood is complete with golf course, country club style, pool house, hot tubs, tennis courts, and any other service you may require, including golf carts and towels on hand so you never have to bring your own. As I push Gavin around the neighborhood in his stroller, I encounter a million nosy neighbors who stop me to coo at Gavin in hoarse high pitched voices and no respect for the fact that he's sleeping. I hear older couples at the pool whose biggest dilemma in life is whether they should take a half hour tennis lesson or an hour golf lesson. It's just impossible to decide. And I guess very few people work in this community, because, besides the obviously retired folk, there are tons of people out golfing and swimming everyday, in the middle of the day. It's interesting. It's a beautiful area, but it's so detached from the rest of the world. It's almost like working at a resort. I find myself constantly amused by this, and while I adore working there, I know I will never have the means nor the desire to lead a life such as theirs. I'm a different species of human being. The house where Gavin lives is incredibly nice. Huge, clean, beautiful, and complete with all the amenities. They have a pool with a waterfall, patio furniture that's nicer than any furniture I've ever had inside a house, outdoor kitchen area, etc.... My Saturday job is quite the same. Gated community. Large house. Pool. Incredible everything. It's a really interesting experience for me to work in places that are nicer than anywhere I have ever or will ever live myself. It's a taste of a life immensely different than my own, where no one ever has to do without. I am grateful for the opportunity to experience these things, to see life from this perspective. Most importantly, it makes me appreciate my own position much more. Here, where I work 6 days a week and still just barely have enough to pay my bills. Here, where I eat cheap and sit on camping chairs. Here, where I dry my clothes at the laundry mat and buy my ramen noodles on sale, I am grateful. It's easy to appreciate the little things, here where I don't have to struggle over decisions about golf lessons. I wouldn't trade my life for theirs for anything in the world. That is what I am learning, here in the desert. Where the weather and the plants and the scenery are a drug to me. This place gets inside my blood and shifts my perspective. I am full of sunshine and gratitude and the joy of having a little baby in my arms everyday while still having the nights all to myself. :) Oh, happy day.

on living in the desert

2008-02-10T17:57:00.001-08:00

So, here's to living in Tucson. The days are warm sometimes bordering on hot, and the nights get cold. There are cacti taller than houses everywhere. The houses are adobe; there are alleys in the backs of all of them; there are mountains in all four directions. The days get lazy and life is hazy. It all feels like a dream, but I love it. So far, my time here has been spent in many wondrous ways.

Last week, there was a Brazilian Carnevale celebration just down the road, so we (Court, Jenny [his sister], and I) made masks. The process was wicked fun, and here's what I got:
Then we got all dressed up to go to this thing because it's supposed to be a costume party. It's Carnevale, ya know? There was supposed to be a contest and everything. But, we get there and are the only ones dressed up. Fine, there were a handful of people wearing masks, but no costumes. Seriously. I was rather disappointed, I mean where's the spirit? To make matters worse, there was zero room to dance, much less stand. I tried to squeeze my way in there, but kept getting shoved around. Needless to say, we didn't stay long. But at least I looked awesome: :)
A couple days later was Mardi Gras. In honor of fat Tuesday, we had a pancake dinner, and then Jenny and I danced. I'm teaching her some bellydance stuff, and very glad to have the chance. She's a fast learner.
So, when I'm not making masks or dancing or writing about how much I feel like I'm living in a dream, I actually have time to explore! The other day brought me to Sabino Canyon, which is like this amazing place with forests of Saguaro cacti in the Catalina mountains, with a golden river running through. It goes so far, there are actually trams to take you the whole way because cars aren't allowed through, and to go on foot would take forever. It's full of wildlife and other "inherent dangers."

We walked for a couple miles taking in the beauty. We saw bats and birds, but no mountain lions yet. The whole area is breathtaking, and as we were walking out, the sun started setting, and the whole place turned even more magical with all the silhouettes.
With other bits of my time, I help fix up the house I'm staying in (free of charge) because it's a little under the weather. We cleaned out the whole basement yesterday, and discovered that the floors we thought were gray are actually red only you couldn't tell because there was so much dirt and dust. There's still a lot of work to be done.

Today's sun, warm breeze, and 75 degrees brought me to the park. It was quite relaxing and beautiful and lovely. There's this amazing tree, and kids everywhere. We played frisbee for a while......until I heard beats in the distance. I listened closely and was convinced of the sound of drums, so I (the snake to these snakecharmers) followed my ears only to happen upon a drum circle just on the other side of the park. To my great pleasure, it was in full progress, and I danced my little heart out on the grass beside them. I even got kudos from a guy who looks like Santa Claus and dances like he's happy (something few people actually are).

Anyway, other than all these little tidbits of my life, I've accepted a job taking care of a 4 month old boy named Gavin (which, ironically, is the name of one of James' good friends). Anyway, he's precious, and I dig hanging out with a baby all day.

Next in life, I intend to find some dance classes and get some of my poetry sent off to these contests I'm entering to try to get some money or some publishing so I can then apply for the grants I want in order to write my novel. Desert life makes these things easy. I love it here.

on the road (volume 10)

2008-01-26T15:52:00.000-08:00

The day after I last posted, I woke up early to get Court to the Airport for a 7 a.m. flight. There was very little traffic, and the moon was full over the still lit up city. It was nice. After saying my goodbyes, I headed back to the apartment and went back to sleep. Garrett and I had decided to leave that day and head to Portland because we still hadn't heard a thing from Court's friend, and felt weird being in her apartment without her there.

Before leaving, however, we went on one last adventure to the UPS Store to ship Court his phone (which he'd left in my car). We ended up in this really amazing little section of Seattle called Fremont. It reminded me a lot of Northampton, MA. We found the store no problem, and I got a chance to ship James all the little goodies I'd been collecting for him as I traversed the land. We then enjoyed some very delicious Thai food, did some people watching, nursed my stomach ache, and headed back to the apartment. We napped and packed and hit the road just as the sun was setting.

We stopped at a motel in Vancouver, WA to regroup before heading into Portland. I was feeling pretty intense about the whole thing because, after all, this is what I'd been waiting for since leaving Massachusetts. We rested up, and confirmed the details of our sejourn. I found out about this site called couchsurfing.com where you connect with people from all over the world. You can network with and befriend people and then they offer you a free place to stay (and someone to show you around the city). So, we made plans to meet up with some people in Portland and crash on their couch. It was a really great experience, and I recommend this site to anyone and everyone who travels. We'd been inadvertently couchsurfing this whole trip, it just happened to be with friends of friends or moms of friends or just friends.

Anyway, we arrived chez Ben in the early afternoon, and he told us all about where to go, what to see, and which bus routes to take. We set off with the intention of visiting the Chinese Gardens, but realized they closed in about an hour. Instead, we headed straight for Pioneer Square, into the Tourist center to snag maps and routes and coupons. This old Irish guy took a fancy to me, and started handing me maps, and pointing me certain directions. Funny that all the restaurants he recommended were Irish. :) Anyway, he gave me this coupon for a 2 for 1 lunch at Kell's (an Irish Pub, of course) for the next day. Then he told me he would have invited me to his house for dinner if he hadn't thought that Garrett would want to come along. It was wicked funny, and I got free lunch out of the deal.

Afterward we wandered around the city, into Chinatown, ate at a Chinese place, wandered down to the Pearl, and spent hours perusing in Powell's bookstore. It's a whole city block of bookstore. I can see myself heading to Portland just for that.
Anyway, we got home and crashed pretty early. Walking around in the wicked cold, strong wind of a city is tiresome. The next morning we got up early to hit the Gardens. Our first stop, however, was Voodoo doughnuts, this really off-the-wall little doughnut shop/wedding chapel. They have donuts with oreo crumbled on top, voodoo doll shaped ones with a pretzel through the heart and cherry filling, and many other crazy cool doughnuts. Also, they perform wedding ceremonies there. For $25 you can get a noncommittal ceremony. For a couple hundred, you can get the whole shebang. Anyway, doughnuts in hand, we arrive at the gardens just in time for the free tour. It was so peaceful and beautiful and calm (and COLD) there.

The guide mentioned how the water in the ponds just flowed without struggle. When water hits up against a rock, it doesn't freak out and wonder what it will do next. It just flows. The point of these gardens was to have a place where you could stop thinking. This resonated so much with me... the idea of hitting a rock and just flowing. After all, that's kind of how my life works anyway so it's pointless to stress.

After the Gardens, we headed back to Powell's to geek out a little more, then met up with Ben and his lady Holly for lunch at Kell's. It was very yummy. :) Then we wandered around with them for a little while, got some cofee, chilled out, and headed back. We wanted to try to go dancing, but apparently the scene in Portland is such that it supports live music much more than the stuff I enjoy dancing to (electronica/industrial). So much for that. The lack of a great dance scene was a big turn-off, actually. Anyway, we were exhuasted. I was done with the city at that point. Not that it wasn't wicked cool, because it was, but so was everywhere else I had been. I was tired of the cold, for one, and second, I don't know anyone there (well, now I know Ben, but that's different). We decided to leave the next morning. After ruminating over the many options of places I could go, (I was running out of money, but lots of my friends had offered great things) I decided to book it back to the warm, sunny climes in Tucson. I spent the next two days driving a distance I had previously taken 3 weeks to traverse. We hit two horrible snow storms, and a lot of sunny California.

So, today finds me in Tucson, sitting barefoot on the porch where I have spent most of the day sucking in sunshine, being so glad for t-shirt weather. I intend to stick around here for a little while to let the worst of the winter pass me by, and to figure out what in the world I want to do with my life (if anything other than just this very thing, of course). Garrett nailed this whole thing on the head when he said that Portland was just my Emerald City... not my Ithaca. That's exactly it. My Emerald City. And I'm so incredibly greatful for the chance I've had to make it there, and for every experience I've had along the way. The adventure doesn't stop here. Only now, I have a place to rest my weary bones.

Sending you plenty of Arizona sunshine.

Until next time.

on seattle (a photo addendum)

2008-01-26T15:45:00.001-08:00

The Puget Sound:

The city from the Sound:
More of the Sound:
The city from inside the library:
The rain at the bus stop:
Space Needle:

on the road (volume 9)

2008-01-20T18:06:00.000-08:00

Well. I must say these past several days have been quite incredible. Regretfully, my camera battery was dead for the majority of the time, so I only have a few pictures. Fortunately, however, I took pictures with my phone, but until I can get them uploaded to here, you will have to use your imagination. I'll have to post an addendum to this entry at a later date.

Let us begin by leaving somewhere South of Portland on Thursday morning to head north to Seattle. We awoke to gray skies and cold rain, precisely what I'd expected for the area. The cold felt surprisingly good after having been out of it for so long. We partook of the continental breakfast, filled up Thel's belly, and headed out. We found ourselves viewing Portland's skyscape very shortly thereafter, and I was glad that I had decided not to stop there at all that day. I took in the feel and the scenery from the highway. The architecture was really cool, but it looked cold and gray overall.

Anyway, I would be spending days there later on, so there was no need to think too much about that. The rest of the drive was pretty much city-less, and the landscape was flat, green, and beautiful. A three and a half hours later, we start seeing the exits for Seattle. We had no idea where we were going, as we were planning on staying with Court's friend that he was visiting there. His plane was landing just as we arrived, so we drove around the city waiting for his friend to pick him up from the airport and give us directions. We drove around most of downtown, and got a general sense of direction. I wanted to explore while we waited but every parking spot was minimum $6 for half an hour. It was hardly worth it since I had no map and didn't know what to see anyway. We ended up sitting in the parking lot of a 7 Eleven with a great view of the Space Needle until we could get directions.

After a lovely reunion with Court, and finally meeting his friend, we set out to find some food. His friend hasn't lived in Seattle for very long, so she wasn't too keen on directions, either. We were going somewhere 10 minutes away, and it turned into a half hour tour of the other neighborhoods of Seattle, which was wicked cool. We found a place to park, and decided to eat at this Indian restaurant advertising authentic cuisine. They weren't kidding. The servers couldn't even speak English. Or their own language, apparently, because they got our orders so wrong. We had to repeat things 5 or 6 times, and no questions could really be answered. It was so funny. Finally, after waiting for what seemed like forever, they bring the food, or everyone's order but my own. I ask about it, and he seems so confused. He doesn't understand what I'm saying, so I ask for a menu making a book-like sign with my hands, and finally point. He gets it and apologizes profusely. Apparently he mistook me saying "malai kofta" as me ordering "garlic naan." Even if you mispronounce that horribly, it sounds nothing like garlic naan. But, alas, we were laughing so hard by the end of the night, it was well worth the wait.

Bellies full, we hit the streets. There are tons of cool shops and places to explore, and we find ourselves in a wonderful bookstore full of wood shelves and half a dozen lofts. We spent the better part of the evening perusing through the volumes. It was certainly delicious.

At this point, we are all pretty tired, so we head home, and have a rather lovely evening together. The next day, the three of us are on our own because Court's friend has to work. We start by trying to figure out the bus timetables so we can get around. We decide to go to the Market and to Chinatown. We think we've got it, and we walk down the street a while to a bus stop, and hop on the 17. We're on for a while, and the driver finally says, "my route is over, where are you guys trying to get off?" We tell him and quickly learn that we've hopped the wrong bus. The driver, luckily, is nice enough to drive us to our destination anyway. We snag some maps and hit the market.

I wish I had pictures, but you can google it if you want. The Pike Place Market is wicked cool. It's pretty much a sensory overload, a maze of shops, in fact. There are vendors pushing their wares for floor after floor. There are bookstores, food shops, fruit stands, jewelry stores, crafts of all kinds, international treasures, record shops, toy stores, and I could go on and on. My favorite shop was this Egyptian store that sold a ton of wicked cool bellydance attire.

After the market we (successfully) hopped a bus to Chinatown, which was rather unimpressive. We walked around, and left shortly thereafter. We found a coffee shop (which, in Seattle, is just about the easiest thing to do) and sat down to enjoy ourselves. We were all pretty tired because this place requires a ton of walking. We wanted to get some food, but the places are "mediocre and overpriced," according to a Seattle guidebook. So true. We finally got a bus home and ordered Chinese food. It was absolutely delicious.

The next day was Garrett's birthday, so we pretty much wanted to do whatever he wanted. We planned to head to the top of the Space Needle for sunset. We left in the late afternoon, thinking we knew the right bus route and the right stop. We wound up having to walk for what seemed like forever, and crossing underneath the highway to get to it. It was certainly worth it.

It was dark by the time we reached the top, but we spent a couple hours absorbing the city lights.

Next it was off to one of the more popular restaurants in Queene Anne (a cool and very posh little neighborhood) called the Five Spot. Every 6 weeks or so they redo the theme entirely. This time around it's New Orleans style. I had honey fried chicken and endless sweet tea. Mmmm... a taste of home. This meal was delicious, and I highly recommend the Five Spot to anyone heading to Seattle.

We headed home with every intention of going out dancing for Garrett's birthday. We got home, researched some clubs, finally found one we felt would be worth trying, and realized it was 12:30 a.m. The club was open till 6, so no problem there, but the bus route ended at 12:50. We headed out the door only to realize we'd just missed the bus. At this point, we call up the transit system and they give us the address of another place to catch the other route. We go back inside to google where the stop is in relation to where we are staying, and head out. Suddenly we are heading toward a really shady dark abandonded underpass. I got a horrible feeling about it, and so did Garrett, so we went a different way. We walked forever, and had to use the GPS on Court's phone to figure out where to go. By the time we found the stop, another hour and a half had passed (we have no idea how) and we had missed that bus as well. We tried to call a cab, but one number didn't answer the phone, and the other number we had was some guy whom we woke from a deep sleep, apparently. This was getting frustrating, and we were dead tired because almost the entire walk had been up this really steep hill. We finally decided to just go home. We couldn't figure out what bus to take at 3 a.m. to get us to the club in time to get $10 worth of dancing in by 6 a.m. Oh well, we would have been too tired to dance anyway.

The next morning (this morning, actually) we awoke with a hunger, and successfully bused ourselves to IHOP (by this point we are proud of the fact that we can work the public transport system). We spent the rest of the afternoon at the Market and walking along the waterfront. It was very beautiful. I have more pics on my phone, and like I said, those will be coming soon. Anyway, I totally dig Seattle and the whole scene around here, though I could do without the wind and the cold. We'll be heading to Portland tomorrow or the next day, so I'll keep you posted.

on the road (volume 8)

2008-01-16T17:00:00.001-08:00

First of all, I'd like to take a sentence to thank all of you who are reading this. I am beyond thrilled to know that my adventures can be shared. So, keep on reading. :)

I last left you in Hollywood, with every intention of partying (like a rockstar). Well, I did, indeed, have quite a blast. We walked a little less than a mile down Vine Street to Avalon Hollywood, a pretty popular club for the DJ/ electronic music scene. We had to wait in line for maybe 20 minutes, but it was well worth it. In spite of the fact that the cover was $20, it was $4 to check my jacket, $8 for a drink, and $5 for a bottle of water (which, by the way, I still have because I couldn't bring myself to throw away a $5 bottle even though it's empty), I got to hear some great music. I was surprised at the dancing, though. It seemed "uncool" to let lose. There was a huge Asian crowd that was rocking out, but everyone else seemed inhibited, which is way uncool, in my opinion. It didn't affect me too much, though, because I danced till my feet hurt too bad to walk (literally). It was really fun, though the walk back to the hotel was wicked painful. After a short but sweet sleep, we partook of the continental breakfast, and hit the road, trying desperately to snag a shot of the Hollywood sign on the way out of town.
We headed back to the coast, to see what we could see. The next stop would be San Francisco, but we knew we wouldn't make it there that day. I honestly don't have words for how amazing the coastal highway is. There were a thousand miles and a thousand sharp curves of ever changing landscape and constant ocean. My soul feels at home that close to the sea. Being able to look out the window at any given moment and see her there, so stoic and constant and fickle and ever changing... it was just... breathtaking.

We spent all day driving and stopping and loitering on beaches, and when the sun finally set we found a place to camp just beside the ocean. I got really cold that night, but being able to hear the waves crashing all night long was very worth it.

The next morning we continued along the coast, with more and more never ending breathtaking beauty. Around 1 or 2 we made it into San Francisco, where I missed the exit into the actual city and wound up driving us across the Golden Gate Bridge, and then back across so we could actually stop and see the place. There's no toll going northbound, but it's 5 dollars going south, so just because I missed the exit, I had to pay to go back. Oh well. Frankly, I was unimpressed by the Golden Gate Bridge. Maybe it's just way too built up because it's such a tourist attraction, or maybe seeing the Pont de Normandie spoiled me. It also could have been the smoggy skies surrounding the whole area. Whatever the reason, it was just a bridge.

Rolling through the city felt a little surreal. I didn't much care for it. It seemed dingy and dim. We found a place to park, and wandered around Fisherman's Wharf for the afternoon. It was cool seeing all the boats, and all the buildings you hear about. Also, Alcatraz is visible from there, so I geeked out a little because I know how much my dad would have loved that. At least I got to send him a postcard. Well, I didn't want to stay in San Fran, so we hit the road again. We finally found a cheap enough motel in Cloverdale, CA. The guy at the desk told us the best and most beautiful route to take the next day to get to the redwoods, so it was well worth being there just to get that little tidbit of information. In the morning, we hit the road, following a little scenic highway out of Cloverdale to get back to the coastal highway. This scenic drive was absolutely enchanted. The landscape was unlike anything I'd ever seen. It made me feel like I was in the land of Faery. On top of that, there were dozens of wineries all along the way. This area was absolutely ripe for grape cultivation.
After a while, we connected back to the coast, where I got to placate a little more of my addiction for the Pacific Ocean. We stopped a couple times so I could blow kisses to the waves. :)
We finally made it north enough to enter the land of the giants: Redwood country. They say it's magnificent, grand, breathtaking, unfathomable even, to be close to one of these trees. They are wrong. There are NO WORDS to describe this feeling. These majestic trees are so tall and so wide and so abundant, and they exert such a powerful energy that you just want to be one of them. So, we drove along and took the Avenue of the Giants as well. I was thoroughly impressed by the whole experience.
By the time we were back on the highway, it was getting dark, so we started trying to find a place to park the car and sleep. Sadly most places along this part of the state post $1000 fines for overnight parking and camping. A bit ridiculous, considering. Well, we finally pulled into a larger town, and parked at this seaside overlook. I fell asleep and awoke to a cop shining a light in my face. She told us we couldn't park there because it was for day use only. Whatever that means. So we moved the the parking lot of a grocery store and got some shuteye.

That brings us to this morning. We started driving right after sunrise, back on the coast. I seriously couldn't get enough of that ocean, and that view, and how the coastline changes so drastically but you can always see the waves. The farther north we got, the more trees sprouted up. These beautiful tall evergreens became abundant. We crossed into Oregon a couple hours later, and along the coast we started to see these huge rocks. They were everywhere, and the waves crashed against them with such ferocity. I've never seen anything like it.

A couple hours after that, we headed inland to find Interstate 5. After driving for almost 8 hours (the most I've driven in a single day on this trip yet) I found myself 50 miles south of Portland and exhausted. I'm now sitting in a hotel room at that exact location. It feels weird to be so close to Portland. Portland is my Ithaca: my dream of moving there was the whole reason I left Massachusetts when I did, then the whole reason I left Utah. Now I'm so close to it, and I don't even want to see it. Somehow seeing it will feel like the end of something.

Tomorrow we head straight for Seattle where we'll meet up with Court again for 4 or 5 days. After that, I'll head back down to Portland... saving it for last, you know. Once I get a feel for the place, I'll have to make my ultimate decision: To live there or not to live there? That is the question. And only time will tell...

I'm sure I'll have some wonders to tell of from Washington, so keep your eyes peeled.

Love and light.

on the road (volume 7)

2008-01-12T19:24:00.000-08:00

We left Tucson a little after 1 p.m. It was really kind of hard to leave. I kept putting it off because I was learning and feeling so intensely much there. It was wonderful, actually. So upon leaving, we sort of went through this weird state of withdrawal. We made it into Yuma about 3 hours later, where we goofed off for a while, found a place to crash, ate some food, and passed out. During this time I managed to google Yuma and find out that it is "the sunniest place on earth. Of the possible 4,456 hours of daylight each year, the sun shines in Yuma for roughly 4,050 hours, or about 90% of the time" (wikipedia.org). So, of course, we woke up in the morning to a very sunny day. We drove through Yuma (at this point, all I could think about was the movie 3:10 to Yuma) and into the sand dunes. This part was incredibly magical. Part of Star Wars was filmed here. It's the perfect stereotype for the word desert. Sand as far as you can see, in big golden dunes. We parked on the side of the road to play in it. The sand is so fine it's like silk through your fingers. It was breathtaking. I've now added to my list of things to do before I die: go four-wheeling in Yuma's dunes.

We headed on to San Diego from there. On entering California, we had to stop at an inspection station for the Border Patrol, and believe it or not, we saw a car pulled over with a Mexican guy curled up in the trunk. I'm totally serious. It's exactly what you would have expected to see at the U.S./ Mexico border. Crazy.

Anyway, the drive was very beautiful and the scenery changed a whole lot. We headed through San Diego straight to the end of I-8, and on to Ocean Beach. We ate a DELECTABLE Mexican meal for lunch, and browsed in the shops along Newport Ave. We walked down the pier at the end of the road (which was a cool pier, by the way) and it got so foggy while we were out there, we couldn't even see the shore from the end of the pier. It was incredible.

We left Newport to head even further west to Sunset Cliffs. The intention here was (obviously) to watch the sunset. We drove all alongside the ocean where the sides of the roads were packed with cars and the ocean was packed with surfers. I can't really put into words the feel of the places, but it was gorgeous. There were palm trees on one side of the road and rocky cliffs on the other with the ocean just beyond. We came to the end, parked, and walked out to the cliffs. We sat admiring the ocean for a while, walked around on the cliffs, and settled in to watch the sun set. It started getting really foggy again, and we thought we wouldn't get to actually see the sunset, but just as it started to sink, the fog receded, and we were privy to a (yet again) indescribable beauty.
Now it was getting dark, and we were staying at my friend's mom's house, which we needed to find. It was back the way we came, so we set forth. It got dark pretty quick, and we were sitting in freeway traffic. I can't see well driving at night, and I freak out trying to find my way in big cities with lots of traffic, so this was quite the intense experience. We got pretty lost thanks to google map and the lack of exit numbers in California. We spent a good hour and a half getting somewhere that was only like 20 miles away. By the time we got there, I had a headache and a ball of stress in my... everything. We wanted to go out and dance or at least go to a bar in San Diego, but I wasn't even close to being up for that. We pretty much went straight to sleep. In the morning, we planted ourselves at Starbucks to partake of some wi-fi, figured out our route, and set out. We hopped over to the Coastal Highway (which is really cool, by the way) and made for Long Beach. After driving around here for a while, we got some food and had a little picnic on the beach. It was so nice I couldn't believe it was January. I took off my shoes and socks and ran around in the sand and water. It was cold, but it felt SOOOOO good to be near the ocean. I could feed off that feeling.
From here, we made our way into L.A., specifically Hollywood. There was a ton of traffic, so it was kind of slow going.
We made it to the hotel with ease. We are staying on Vine which is less than a mile from the infamous Hollywood & Vine where the star walk is found. The Hollywood sign is visible just by looking up the road. I also got to see my great granddad's star:

Now, I'm about to go clubbing in Hollywood. The club is just down the street. I'm so excited. I feel like a rockstar. Who knows what tomorrow will bring...

on the road (volume 6)

2008-01-09T08:24:00.000-08:00

I last left you with the itch to dance in Phoenix. Well, I can say with gratitude that the itch was scratched. We headed down to Mill Ave., which is apparently the place to party in Phoenix. We walked all around, and the streets were lit festival style. It was pretty chill.

After passing bar after bar after bar that failed to have a dance floor, we finally come to the Cherry Pit: a perfect hit. It was a really posh club-ish place that had decent music going and a relatively cool dance floor. It felt so good to dance. My only complaint was that I got hated on by the girls in there. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because I was wearing a t-shirt and sneakers while they were all dressed up... or maybe it was the mere fact that I can dance. Anyhow, it was wicked fun.

We awoke the next morning to head south to Tucson. The drive was short and we got caught in a couple of intense rain showers. Upon reaching the city, we started exploring. We found a bunch of little shops, had some rice bowls, sent off a few postcards, and then met up with Court. He took us to this really great feeling tea house called the Casbah, where the waitress was also the house bellydancer. Her style was one I'd never encountered before, so I was certainly happy (not to mention the fact that I was drinking spice chai).

After that, we rolled on over to a pub called the Surly Wench. How can you be in Tucson and not go to a pub called the Surly Wench? There was a giant depiction of the girl on the wall. Hehe

After a couple Blue Moons, we grabbed some pizza and went home to have our very own dance party in the living room. Yay for that a million times.

The next morning began with a delicious breakfast at a place called the Hungry Fox. As I was devouring my biscuit and gravy, I notice to my left a curtain depicting a jar of something called Leslie Salt. Intrigued, I snagged a photo and am still pondering what this could possibly be. If you know, please tell. Otherwise, expect a jar of Leslie salt on your next birthday...

Another must see in Tucson is Biosphere 2. If you are unaware of this, google it. It is AMAZING, and I couldn't do it justice trying to explain it on here. Anyway, on the way there, we ran into Paul Bunyan (he's kind of hard to miss).
Then spent the afternoon touring the facilities there. I was blown away, to say the least.

The next day wasn't quite as eventful as we were planning on leaving the following morning. We ran some errands, and the most exciting part of my day was seeing (for the very first time) live and in person, a church of scientology!!! Haha. Props to L. Ron Hubbard.

That night we decided to go dancing. Sadly, Tuesdays are not the best time for this. We went to a place called Asylum, where we were 3 of the 5 total people in the club. At least we danced. And when I say danced, I mean it. They were playing goth/industrial music and I cried myself into my dance. It felt goooood.

We had every intention of leaving this morning, but over breakfast found out that we had forgotten to go partake of Old Tucson, the old wild west town used as the set for so many famous Westerns. I couldn't resist. Off we went.

We drove through something I'd never encountered before... a never ending vision of saguaro cacti. I don't know if it would be considered a cacti forest or a cacti patch (hehe) or what, but I was astounded. I am developing a certain obsession with cacti.

Anyway, on entering Old Tucson, we fell privy to a can-can show!!! I wonder if I could ever score a job this sweet: pretending to live in the old west and getting paid for dancing in a saloon!!!
The whole town was a blast. They were playing that cheesy kind of western music through loudspeakers the whole time so you really felt like you were in a film. We also so a gunfight and a thousand million photos of John Wayne.

Cacti were still abundant, so I snagged my dream picture:

Afterward, we wandered around Tucson. We tried to go to this art gallery, Solar Culture, that Brian told me about, and though the hours were posted and it should have been open, it was not. So, we continued our debauchery, walking through the snake bridge (the whole thing looks like a rattlesnake, tail and all, and its eyes glow at night and it even makes sounds), where I was devoured by the snake after clinging for dear life to its fang.

We wandered around 4th avenue, gawking at the windows, and I felt like I was in a dream. I really adore Tucson. I think I might be falling in love with it, actually. Tomorrow we head to San Diego via Yuma. Yum.

on the road (volume 5)

2008-01-05T19:15:00.000-08:00

Yet another chapter in the adventures of Leslie Ann has begun. This time the destination is Portland, Oregon. The time frame is within the month. The intention is unclear. The plan was to leave New Year's Day in honor of the symbolic force of beginning at the beginning. Plans, however, tend to change when one procrastinates. I spent that particular day packing up my life (once again), and running errand upon errand to "prepare" for this. Ironic because the task is impossible. Needless to say I managed to get the car partially loaded, spent one more night in Ogden, woke up, loaded everything else, and hit the road.

It was relatively cold when we (I say we because Garrett is accompanying me for an undetermined period of this journey) left Ogden. We started driving (Thel getting used to the load one again) toward Moab. Now I've been wanting to visit Moab since I got to Utah because my dorky self wishes to view, up close and personal, the famous Delicate Arch, which is such the emblem of Utah that it is planted distinctly upon my license plates. Furthermore, I've heard of a tribal belly dance troupe who claims Moab as home. The drive was gorgeous, and I expected no less because Southern Utah and Northern Arizona are my favorite areas of the country. By the time we rolled into Moab, though, the sun had set so completely that my night vision (that is, the lack thereof) had thoroughly kicked in. We had no idea what to do at this point as the time was a mere 5:30 in the evening. We sat in a parking lot attempting to catch some wireless Internet. With no luck, we wandered into a local grocery store, picked up the paper, got some green tea, and asked the clerk what there was to do at night. At this point several people that heard us broke into simultaneous laughter. Eh, so much for that. We noticed a hostel listed in the accommodations section of the paper, at a lovely $9 per night (I have yet to mention that Moab was a good deal colder than Ogden, and camping seemed on the dangerous side). We groped our way around the town until we finally found this place set back behind some storage units. Driving into it seemed like the perfect set-up for a really bad horror flick. Upon entering we found a wood stove with a (warm, thank god) fire blazing. The guy behind the counter was a total hippie, and the place seemed to be full of the hippie- hipster type. We talked for a while with him and other guests about where we had travelled and where we were headed. Then we got the key to this cabin outside that was supposed to be equipped with a fully functional radiator that would warm it up in "half an hour." We cranked it on high, and ended up wearing coats and hats and making pb & j sandwiches with frozen fingers which we warmed up hobo style over the radiator (that never actually heated up the room).

At this point it's now about 8:00, and we've nothing to do. We crawl into our sleeping bags, read some faery tales aloud, play shadow games on the wall with flashlights, and finally get to sleep. We wake up when the sun does, pack up the car, and are thankful for the heater that finally warms us up. It's off to see the sights. We cruise back through town to Arches National Park. Enter a faery tale. Red rock is magic to me. We saw many gorgeous formations. And, of course, the Delicate Arch.
We get a free dinosaur bone from a local rock shop, get some food (for us and for Thel) and hit the road again. It's Grand Canyon or bust this time. Yet again the drive is gorgeous, and I can't explain how amazing I feel being on the road again. I live for that feeling... to know that the world really is at my fingertips. I could go anywhere and do anything. It's all for me.

By the time we get into the Park, the sun is setting (what'd ya know?). So road trips in the winter take a little tweaking, especially if you can't afford a hotel room every night. It's $25 to get into the park, so we're hoping to get to camp. However, the season apparently doesn't allow campers as all the campgrounds are closed. We don't want to backtrack, and I don't want to go through in the dark. The lodge is out of the question, so we park and get ready for a long night in the car. We talk and Garrett tells me a story or two, then by about 8:00 I'm falling asleep. I awake sporadically to passing cars and bizarre dreams. I awoke at one point to a sky full of amazingly clear stars, and I was gazing realized I was witness to a meteor shower! How incredible. It wasn't too bad being in the car all night, besides getting wicked cold a couple times. We awoke with the sun (again) and made our away along the South Rim to gape and the grandness there.
It was, of course, as beautiful as I recall, only it was much colder and snowing most of the time. Anyway, we hopped back in the car and made our way to Flagstaff to grab a bite to eat. Flagstaff, as always, was heavily congested, but we finally found our way to 89 which would take us straight into Sedona. This drive was amazing as well, as we drove through Kaibab and Coconino National Forests, and various terrain from heavy snow to dry desert. We hit Sedona by noon, wandered through the many little shops, loitered on the sidewalks, grabbed a map, and drove down 179 to see Chapel Rock, Cathedral Rock, Bell Rock, etc... I love how this place feels. I keep going back. I would have liked to have hiked, but as winter as it was, we were unprepared.
Rolling out of Sedona in the afternoon, we made our way to Phoenix. I've never driven this far south in Arizona, so I was in awe of the landscape changes. The further south we got, the bigger the cacti, until the outskirts of Phoenix which actually felt like Florida to me because of the palm trees. This is a good thing because it also got warmer, and I shed the snow boots and thermal shirt in favor of a t-shirt and my good ole sneakers. We were meeting up with some of Garrett's friends who live just south of Phoenix. They took us to a pretty chill brewery where I was surrounded by a group of geeky animators who are working on a star gate game. It was pretty cool to listen to these people geek out about their passions (though I had nothing to add). I was so tired and so thankful to be able to stay in their house where it was warm. Also, showering was pretty amazing after not having done it for a while.

This morning we ate some authentic Mexican for breakfast and headed for the zoo. It was nice weather, though a little rainy. They say this is the cloudiest Phoenix has been for some time. Anyway, I enjoyed the animals thoroughly.

After that, we got to see the studio where this whole stargate game is being created. I respect these guys so much because I have NONE of their skill. :) Tonight we are going to try to go dancing, but I'm not sure how that'll turn out. Anyway, we leave in the morning for Tucson. I am, of course, loving every minute of this.

Until next time...

on a jet plane

2008-01-01T15:46:00.000-08:00

I am incredibly thrilled that I got to spend Christmas in Tennessee. Oh, home sweet home. Oh, Dixie Land. I fought it for a really long time, fought, that is, the idea of Tennessee as "home." I wanted to be a citizen of the world, a true-blooded gypsy, homeless. But the more I'm away, and the more often I visit, the more I realize that Tennessee really is home. It's more than just the fact that I spent 22 years of my life there. It's my friends, my ties, my bonds, and most of all my family. I'm rebuilding a relationship with my dad and his side of the family, with which things have been very strained for the past two years. I'm so glad for this as they are incredible people. I couldn't ask for more.

I got to spend a full week at home. I left on my birthday and got back just two days ago. I spent some amazing quality time with my dad. We shopped, watched movies, and talked a lot. Not only that, but I also saw most of my friends and a whole lot of my wonderful mom.

Some of my excitements included becoming addicted to Guitar Hero, going dancing in Nashville (something I haven't done in years), seeing one of my best friends own the stage at her band (the Beta Macks') performance (it was the first time I saw her play, and it made me wicked happy). I also got to dance at the show and see some kids I thought I probably wouldn't ever see again.

My best friend in the world came into town to visit as well. We spent the afternoon wandering the enchanting grounds at Cheekwood.

I got to see more of my brother and his girlfriend, and I am happy to know that they are planning on getting married in several years. He seems really happy.

All in all, many wounds began to heal during this trip. I re-established certain bonds, learned a lot about what I really want and what I value.

On this note, I begin a new chapter in my adventures tomorrow. I'll be heading from SLC, south through Arizona, west to San Diego, and up the coastal highway to Portland, OR, where my original intention was to settle for a while. The road will tell me where I'll end up. I'll keep you posted.

Dorothy was right, you know, there's no place like home. :)

on the road (volume 4)

2007-11-08T17:32:00.000-08:00

I spent four days in Page, Arizona. Have I mentioned that Arizona is my favorite state ever? It's so magical, and every experience I've had there has been amazing. This was completely confirmed over the weekend. For starters, the drive was breathtaking. I went down Highway 89 through southern Utah, the canyon lands, grand escalante, dixie national forest, bryce canyon, kanab, etc... Being back on the road made my blood pump. I thrive for it. Anyway, once in Page, I got to see the wonders of the area. This is at Glen Canyon Dam and Lake Powell:

Then we got free admission into the Page museum. I got to hang out with some dinosaur fossils, and I got to grind corn into meal with stone. I missed James hardcore.

Luckily, the entire weekend was jammed with the festivities of the Hot Air Balloon Regatta. There were over 60 balloons, and at night, the ones that glowed in the dark, lined the streets of Page, and shot flame at timed intervals. It was absolute magic. I felt like I was dreaming.

Then, in the mornings the balloons lined up against the backdrop of the red rock canyons, and all lifted off within a matter of half an hour.

The sky was filled with color.

Court snagged a pretty cool shot of me watching them.

Then we got in the car, followed them to the end of their journey, where they began to land in the streets of a neighborhood, deflate, and pack up. It was surreal, balloons landing all over the streets and yards. If you hadn't known about the regatta, you'd have thought there was an alien invasion of balloon ships.

We kept seeing prints of this particular place on postcards and other posters, and they captions all said Lake Powell, except it wasn't anywhere we'd seen. We finally found a print that noted the location as being 7 miles upstream. We were lucky enough to find it: Horseshoe Bend.

Not only were the festivities and the landscape phenomenal, not to mention the fact that I adore travelling, but I got to do all of this with one of the most amazing people I know. I'm so happy. And so lucky. And now I'm having trouble readjusting to life as I know it here in Utah. I'm ready to be on the road again. In my upcoming plans are this: leave Utah January 1st, take about a month in which I drive down to Tuscon, over to San Diego, up the coast of California, and land in Portland where I will live and work for an indeterminate period of time. :)